dontregartha

A venue insisting you PAT test all of your gear then give you an untested death trap extension cable to run part of the gear off! We worked around that and went to the wall sockets with our cables - it was the DJ that said "where can I plug into" and I said - you can use that - it's not one of ours it has no sticker on it!

Actually in addition to tuning... playing bits of the next song or rehearsing audibly shouldn't happen when the audience is there.

Why oh why do audiences think that we can mind their drinks whilst they dance? Our guitar player(and singer) had some geezer stand his drink on his music stand ON the lyric book!! Last night some cretin put his drink down by a fold back monitor, for the next pillock to come and kick it over - all over the mic cables running across the front. Its bad enough packing away at 1.00 am, but to have to wipe the ale of the cables before packing them grinds my gears. If I spot them, anyone bending down to put something at the front, might get accidentally hit over the head by a lump of maple with four shiny schallers sticking out.

Played a return gig in Rothwell (northants) last night. The town had a carnival and fair, parking for unloading was rubbish. We had to be in early for set up as it was a football club presentation, followed by the match on the big screen. We went and got a kebab and a couple of beers and started at 9.30. Great crowd, including a lot of 'faces' from other gigs. Finished at 12.30, got on the road at about 1.45 and drove back to Wing (bucks) in the torrential rain and amazing lightning all the way back.

Did four gigs this weekend.. first (Friday) was in the Cheyne Walk club in Northampton, hoping to see our regulars in, but Craig Charles was at the Roadmender, so our audience was thin. Saturday night was at Joes Bar in Higham Ferrers - big boxy wooden floored pub, but it got very busy so we got a pretty decent sound and the crowd loved it. "That Bloke" that you always get at a gig was dancing on the bar, completely off his face - almost fell off the bloody thing twice. Sunday started with a 4'oclock gig at the Desborough services club - out in the garden - loads of families - very hot, no-one danced, but it went down well. Then rapid tear down and dash to the Cuttle Inn in Long Itchington, near Rugby. Set up in 45 minutes including backdrop, lights, PA, Kit backline and had a great gig. 'That Bloke' here was a huge geezer who was trying to dance, despite him being totally plastered - he fell over onto our PA stack and almost brought it down (we were using a great sounding, but lightweight BOSE system with Sub cabs and an array of small speakers for the mid and top. Doesn't stand up to 15 stone TW*TS falling into them. That aside, the pub was packed and they danced and danced from the off. Despite being totally knackered after four two hour sets plus rig, derig and travel it was one of those nights when you could have gone on for ages.

We separate the band from the crowd with a line of 4 mics, two monitor wedges and a large floor fan (singer gets hot - I freeze!). You get the odd stray, but I'm usually able to repel boarders with the headstock! Last night we had a great gig at the Rose and Crown in Rushden Northants, packed rowdy crowd, but we went down well and got three enquiries. The bar team were helpful - security clearing the path out when we pulled out the gear. I had to use my little Ashdown Electric Blue DI'd into the PA as my Hartke died the night before and i had to do the whole show through the PA.

Some things cannot be unsaid....

We played an awards night in the Park hotel in Northampton - there was a pro PA and lighting setup so we just provided our own backline. good onstage monitoring, but listening back to my zoom recording the FOH sound was a bit bizarre. Vocals were great, but the instrumentation was a bit muddy. It didn't help, our dep keys man playing all over my bass parts. I had a massive barney with him in the break - opening number - the chorus he starts hitting octaves with the left hand - a really crap bass line - just the root - it completely overwhelmed my lines and was made even worse by the giant subs out front. I gave him the death stare - I could see his hands on the keyboard - he flatly denied doing it when I spoke to him later. I shall be reviewing whether I'm prepared to gig with him in future.

Did two nights in a row this weekend - the first, was a charity fundraiser in the Picture dome Northampton, great venue, great crowd, all 'souled up' thanks to the DJs. The second was a private party in Wellingborough. Very tired tonight!

In our band it's the M1 - I usually get back OK, but the guys going north usually get the closures!

Piano players who say they're keyboard players, but they're piano players. Playing two hands 8+ note pad chords and all over the bass. Not learning the part so busking it, getting it wrong and me getting a bollocking from the other guys for playing the wrong bass notes!! Music stand and book the size of a house - learn the effing parts!! Its not rocket science. Turning up and setting up more gear than a 70's Rick Wakeman rig right across the stage before the PA is in. But learn the parts!!! I quit a band because of this, the rest couldn't see what the issue was, so I walked.

We did a gig in a town centre pub with the boxing on at the same time. It didn't seem to bother anyone - we had a good crowd dancing. One of our singers was hit from behind by another car on the way to the gig and the guitar player went to sort things out for her. So we started without a soundcheck, so we had to make a couple of adjustments during the first number, though it settled down quickly. The power though was the usual pub setup - two sockets off the same ring circuit - oh why, why , why do venues do this? They'll have multipoint network ports for the EPOS system and endlessly complicated switching for the lighting, but two sockets (if you're lucky) on the stage. They'd make a fuss about your PAT testing and provide no power distribution. Now our lighting rig is LED based, but our PA is 4k and we have floor monitors and backline. We don't run it at anywhere near full power, but it still slurps the juice. We had a couple of occasions when the desk tripped out and the guitar player's backline (off the same socket) cut out. We had to quickly DI him for the last few numbers. The punters hardly knew what was going on - but on stage - some panic!

Unfortunately its the bass that sets those bloody things off. We turned up at a place recently which had the tell tale box on the wall. I was about to kick up a fuss with the management and it turned out THEY had bypassed the power for the band! - Happy days.

Social media is v.important - next gig - if the owner doesn't do it - you do it!

And I love the 13amp pedal board

I've sweated over this many times over the years and have had a couple of goes at learning to read. I reckon good ear training is the most important skill, especially for bass. I hate bass tabs - they really are very difficult to follow and if asked "play a dflat" or "what key is that in?" will have to think. But start up a tune and I'm on it - I can move my hand to the note instinctively. i don't use charts or scores when playing in the band - I learn it all and that enables me to perform, rather than read.

Played a new venue in Corby last night - St Jame/Breakers bar. Huge venue on an industrial estate - two large pool rooms, snug and bar area with a stage/dancefloor one end. Good crowd though the format means they are seated stage left and in front of you you have 8 pool tables with players playing all evening. Large screen sky sports going as well. We're a loud funky soul band so that's not an issue and from the get go we had them up and dancing in the dance floor in front of us. What was significant was the green room/dressing room!! - The owners clearly haven't read the manual about band facilities i.e if they really insist - stick em in the meter cupboard and they can change in the gents - standing on one leg trying to keep your stage gear out of the fosters on the floor. No this was deeelooouxe - easy chairs, practice amps, sky tv, fridge full of softs and beer - optics on the wall with Vodka, Jaegermeister and Jack Daniels. Had we not been driving we would have given that lot a bit of damage!! Anyway - we had a good night despite the snow - happy crowd, happy bar manager, happy band.

We had two gigs this weekend - at the first in a smart town centre cocktail bar ( £5.40 a pint ffs) our percussionist turned up despite having had the flu all week - looked like crap on the night. We did about eight numbers when 16 bars into 'Heat Wave' the drummer stopped - I turned round and saw that the percussionist had fallen over and was lying on his back, unconscious. We stopped and pulled out the gear around him, our singer is a nurse and another nurse and a consultant oncologist from the hospital joined her sorting him out. Like the rest of us, he's no spring chicken so it was all very worrying. One of the nurses called an ambulance and they showed up after about half an hour which at nutter time on Friday was not bad. He was taken to A and E and we abandoned the gig ( the manager paid us half the money which we didn't expect). A couple of the guys stayed at the hospital until he was out of the woods. He's making a good recovery and should be back with us in a week or so. The lad that stayed half the night was still running on adrenalin the next night and we had a cracking gig with a heaving dance floor.

call me puerile, but that name and website has made me laugh out loud!!

BigRedX -spot on - I also work in design and to be honest roller banners make you look like a trade stand. The encapsulation will kick off lighting and look even naffer.

We use a three pole system that you can either run straight across the back as in the pic or as an L shape. We hang a blackout cloth from it and hang a small banner in the middle. We have three LED Par lamp bars. So every pic you have taken or shoot yourself on facebook - they all look similar - no dartboards, ship's wheels, blackboards etc.

This is the best advice... but do make a habit of playing along to tracks, clicks, drum machines, live drums - you'll start to 'lock' and that will transform your playing. Bass isn't a solo noodling instrument - its a rhythm section instrument - how can you practice without the rest of your section?

I use an iRig and Capo - you can get capotouch for the iPad and Iphone. I've even used an iRig to sit back stage at a gig when I was still learning the parts to swot up my starts. You plug your guitar into the main socket and phones into the mini socket and then stick the whole lot into the headphone socket - easy!

I had 20 disco and funk songs to learn - not the easiest bass genre to cover. OK, most have a repeating hook and riff, but the middle 8s and intros are so often non-standard. i used the Capo app on the mac, which allows you to slow down, but keep the pitch and/or micro tune the pitch on the record so its back in tune with your bass. That cost a few quid, but now Fender have bought riffstation and made it free on their website. It does most of what Capo does. Break it down, slow it down rinse and repeat. I played the Billy Jean Riff for half an hour solid, while I was browsing facebook just sio it 'burned' in to my brain - similarly Stevie Wonder's 'I wish'. I never thought I'd ever be able to play 'Forget me Knots" - but now I play it live with no bother at all. Some might say i'm unaware of my limitations!!

Welcome Gadget Girl, from a Bucks person - though I spent many years working in Berko and Tring