Bridgehouse

Turn round, through the door, turn left, then third door on the right, down the corridor through the double doors, second door on the left, and the DoI is the fourth door on the right. It has a sign on it that says “Professor Wankel Oneread.” You’ll be safe there.

Actually I’m reminded of a time I auditioned for a covers band. I spent hours learning half the set on the fretless Shuker. Literally hours. I turned up to the audition and as I was getting the bass out the lead singer said ”Oh, sorry mate - we don’t do any Paul Young covers..”

He wasn’t even with his covers band… he was with his daughter! Shocker.

Oh come on!! That required two read-throughs…

Creep.

You win the internet.

I’m comfortable in my self awareness that I’m a talentless, soulless waste of time. I struggle to play bass lines I’ve written after one listen.

I’m gutted that I’m only allowed to read it once to be honest.

One for each time Chas sang “Rabbit”

I find your lack of talent disturbing….

We used to finish with Rabbit by Chas n’ Dave

That tune really gets them going down the Dog and Duck on a Friday night. Perhaps a covers band isn’t your thing. Have you thought about period-correct Icelandic Melancholy Originals?

I can do that on keys - but not after one listen through tho.

Singer: Right, we need to pick a setlist for Friday night. It's my sister's birthday and there's a few tunes she'd like us to do. Guitarist: Cool! Singer: She'd like to do Mr Blue Sky.. Drummer: Love that tune. Bass: Yeah, er.. No. Too complex. Bass solo, loads of complexity. Can't learn that in just one listen through. Sorry. Singer: Er.... okaaaay. How about All Right Now? Guitarist: Need to work on the riffs, but cool Bass: Er.. nope. Bass is a bit complex there as well, specially rhythmically. Nope. Again, more than one listen through there. Singer: Hhhhh. Right. Okay, so what exactly do you think we should do? Bass: Zombie? Singer: I'm a 44 year old male who's smoked more than Hilda Ogden and you expect me to sing that?? Bass: Creep? Singer: Oh come on! Bass: Comfortably Numb. That's dead easy. One listen through and I'm sorted. Singer: Fine. I'll take one listen through and any lyrics I don't remember I'll just "umm", "aaah" and "ooh" Guitarist: Yeah, and those two solos will take more than one listen through so I'll just strum chords then Bass: I'm not sure being in a covers band is really for you guys....

Stick to reggae and lay off trying those Val Doonican numbers mate…

Actually, on a serious note, a flippant “one listen through is enough” is disrespectful to the other musicians in the band, and to the audience. In any band I’ve been in this would be a reason for sacking. I make a point of not joining bands where a level of mutual respect isn’t shown.

The attitude expressed would explain why I’ve heard some utterly shocking performances in pubs and clubs over the years though…..

What sort of PC is it? It should work with on board audio

Mini keys are harder to play imho. I’m pretty sure the standard 49 key is a lot shorter than that!!

(You just need an iPad breakout cable)

If you have an iPad plug it into that and use GarageBand - it’s excellent to start with

As long as it acts as a USB controller it will be fine for a start. The biggest price jumps come from semi-weighted and weighted keys, and then other controller buttons and pads on the device. Most importantly you need a decent software package - have a look at Reason or Ableton Live for starters and go from there

Well now. How far do you want to go down the rabbit hole? I’d get a USB keyboard controller like an m-audio key station 49 or equivalent and then pick a digital audio workstation piece of software to play, record etc. Most of them come with instruments built in, and you can add to it later with others both free and paid for. The other option is a proper synth that still plugs into the PC but has built in patches and can be played live without a PC. More expensive but you get the option of taking it out and about to play.

There is a similar vaccine. In fact, the ones released so far are more effective. Flu is an RNA virus just like SARS-Cov-2, but so far flu seems to mutate quicker and more extremely. If anything Cov-2 is more like mumps or rubella which are also RNA viruses. Most RNA viruses mutate to be more transmissible but less deadly - flu tends to be the same but mutates in odd ways. We have vaccines. We have a strategy. At some point Cov-19 will become a background illness which kills a small number of people. The advances in treatment alone have brought the death rate down. However, when that will be is the unknown.

I play with my thumb resting on the string below, so it doesn’t bother me - if anything I find the lack of contouring more of an issue