lozkerr

I would like to proffer my profound thanks for that timely and sage advice. While it would never occur to me to comment on a colleague's physical peculiarities, it would not do to display an involuntary reaction. Particularly as I have just been contacted by a 'Mr A' inquiring about a bus. Speedy work, Mr Del Var. I trust he pays promptly?

Great minds think alike... I was planning to source a big tour bus from the fleet parked outside Edinburgh Castle. Plenty of seats, full air-con and tinted windows, so you can get tooled up without worrying about being seen. Foreign plates too, so no risk of being detected by ANPR. And they burn well.

Or perhaps Mr Del Var could be persuaded out of retirement again? I'll drive.

I'm not overly impressed either. Not bought my train tickets yet, but I've paid for a weekend ticket and booked accommodation. Which I can't cancel. If it does turn out to be dire, there's aye Tin Pan Alley a half-hour's walk away. And there's the Bass Gallery. But the comms so far is pretty poor.

Mine is my music stand, which dates from around 1973. It's seen me through the violin, bugle and trumpet and is still going strong. I still have a few Time and Tune books from primary school, too.

You're right, they're not. The great advantage of the five-string is that you get two full octaves over five frets everywhere on the fretboard. I switched from a four to a five about fifteen months ago and I can't see myself ever going back. Keeping the B string quiet took a bit of getting used to, but the main work was in changing the root of each scale. I started with E major and E minor rooting on the fifth fret of the B string; once I had those patterns in my head, the rest was easy.

You might be right. Fortunately, there isn't a lot in the profile section - you can choose to show your email address (which I've disabled) and your location. Nothing about age or gender and there's no option to upload a photo. The only thing that might alert a bot is that I had 'show online status' set on and I'm pretty much permanently logged in. The list of online users is shown below the main classified headings, so it would be trivial to write a script to contact them all. UPDATE: I've just had another look at my inbox and the messages have disappeared along with the user name. Looks like JMB have been alerted. Stay safe, folks!

Don't keep us in suspense! 🙂

And needless to say, I haven't and won't be replying.

Morning folks, Just had an out-of-the-blue message from this character on JMB. He either thinks I'm stupid or it's a scam - there is no way I'm giving my email address to some semi-literate stranger. There's also someone called Ger sniffing round the Edinburgh musicians groups on Facebook. I'm not sure they're related, but that's the only connection I can think of. Anyone else heard from this character? Here's his profile and the messages:

Can confirm. The shop's been closed for months.

That would make me Porty Costa. I'm not sure it works - it puts me in mind of a weedy bloke in a Hawaiian shirt playing keys in a Benidorm tourist disco.

Some great basslines here. My nomination would Talking Heads' Road to Nowhere.

Clear message, certainly. But epic fail for the filming - looking away from the camera during close-ups is a schoolboy error.

I know I'm late to this party, but I would be very interested in getting my mitts on one of these. My XT-25 is the perfect travelling companion, but the playing position is a nightmare.

Chris McIntyre's your man. He did a lovely job on my Steinberger a few months ago. He's based in Leith, right beside Easter Road stadium. https://www.mcintyreguitars.com/

"Johnny used to work after school at the cinema show Gotta hustle if he wants an education, he's got a long way to go. Now he's out on the streets all day selling crack to the people who pay, Got an AK47 for his best friend, business the American way." (Empire by Queensryche. Brutal and honest.)

Nena for sure. Fancy a grown woman playing with balloons! The signs were all there, but we just chose to ignore them. How are the mighty fallen...

Should I organise the drinks?

Yeah...you tell her. I'll watch from a safe distance.

OK folks, half-price tix are now on sale. Just bought a half-price weekend ticket for £18.76. They're only half-price for 24 hours, so best be quick. Hope to see some of you there!

Ten Thumbs & Two Left Hands.

Um... it might be mispronounced rather frequently. 'Funky McF*ckface' doesn't have quite the same effect.

Interchange. Diverging Road. The Cones (do they ever remove ALL the roadworks?) The Highways. M5. Six Lanes. Hard Shoulder. 2-4-6-8. England's Heart (because you're near the centre of England) Speed Flash. The Gantries.

That outfit definitely needs a hat!