Ted Theodore Logan, III

I think you got your band name right there!! Some might say it's a tad long and possibly lacking the letter “s" at the end of “member" (unless I am mistaken and you were referring to something else) but I can assure you that no other band in the world is currently calling themselves that!.. Plus it gets the point across. Thank me later...

Ah... Thank you kind sir I am forever confusing that large, teal bird with the English novelist... Easily done, I suppose...

(...lewd comment aside...) I noticed that this particular basschat member was honoured to have their title displayed in a rather alluring hue of green shade. My initial thoughts on the matter pertained to that of an Orwellian notion of inequality amongst piers presented in the allegorical novella “Animal Farm". Utterly appalled by the absence of uniformity amongst allegedly “equal" members I sought to discover the reasons as to why basschat saw fit to have this particular member's title presented in a rather outstanding colour whilst the majority should remain so banal in their presentation. My endeavour lead me to exercise my rights in viewing the limited details of another Basschat user's profile and upon doing so I was pleased discover, albeit relieved, that this particular member was a moderator to this very site, thus presenting me with a logical explanation and ultimately a plausible answer to my original quandary. Alas, my thoughts could rest and all notion of inequality amongst piers within the domain of the basschat website were quashed. I could continue with my daily rituals and tasks in good faith and for a short while I was contented and ultimately at peace both spiritually and mentally... This was until I read that the member in question was ranked a “Bass-playing bird"... My attention was immediately then brought to the user's profile picture which to my horror confirmed my initial fear that this basschat member or “moderator" as they might have you believe was, in fact, a bird that was proficient in playing the bass guitar. The notion and physical implications completely eluded me... Further to my dismay, I then came upon a picture presented several posts beneath the original text. The image was so shocking and unsettling that I cannot begin to describe to you what I saw however I have managed to source and display the image at the bottom of this page for your viewing should you feel the necessity to do so. The above factor and the preceding image below have lead to my concluding that; The basschat website that is presented before the reader's very eyes today was crafted and is currently moderated by “animals"!... How ironic and almost droll that my original contemplation regarding the equality amongst animals should lead me to this very fascinating yet utterly disturbing, and ever perplexing discovery...

My joining a band wasn't really an option for me, more a legal requirement... A community service order to be specific. I'm repaying my debt to society one gig at a time

Yeah... that's pretty much the norm... Got the multi-dead latch thing going on, have had for a while... not to mention the panic room that leads down to the sewer works and out to the estuary...

...or have been banned from them...

“HERE, HERE!!" “scoff, scoff, scoff, scoff, scoff..." Who'll be the one's laughing when the blackout comes and all those download files just “F-f--f-f--f-Fadeaway!!"?... THE PHONOGRAPH USERS THAT'S WHO!! I suggest recording your EP onto wax cylinders... You will thank me come 2027...

Before I discovered Basschat I would never had put the words “decent people" & “bassist" together but I guess this site is simply a magnet for the most genuine of bass players out there!!! Every post that I have read from this site either shows great comradery, fantastic support, a HUGE depth of musical knowledge or something that leads me to question why they are allowing the inmates of St Helen's institute for the mentally insane to have access to the World Wide Web?...

I just joined the site to shift some stolen bass gear but it turns out these guys are a bit of “alright"...

I second this... Sound ain't bad for what it is, certainly can reach quite a volume and still maintain articulation!!

Oooooh!! Natural remedies, me like... You don't per-chance originate from Totnes do you?... Oh, wait, you eat meat... Probably not then...

I'd say there's 99.87% sincerity in my original post. Nah!! Anyone who has the proverbial “balls" to perform originals in front of an ever-critical audience gets my utmost degree of admiration!! Heck, I'd rather listen to that smelly kid with eleven toes performing his original tracks on a out of tune guitar at the open mic than have to sit through a semi-professional covers band inferior renditions of already successful songs...Talk about riding coat-tails... I would like to point out that I also have eleven toes and am in no way judging or discriminating others with eleven toes. I do however have a sense of hygiene, I aim to wash at least annually!!

The Mrs, nagging!!...

Perhaps he was referring to the musical group “Queen"...

Magnesium supplements are intended for bone strength... Also multi-vitamin tablets are rumoured to do wonders. Interesting story, I'll keep it brief; A local bloke had developed an issue with his right leg where it would remain constantly numb and he'd feel only a “pins and needles" sensation throughout the limb. He was an older chap and after numerous visits to several GP's and doctors, none of whom could diagnose or cure the problem, he eventually learned to live with the numb limb and had adapted his movements and lifestyle to compensate this. One day however, several years down the line, a friend of his suggested taking a particular daily vitamin supplement. With nothing to lose the chap would take these daily tablets and then one day on a stroll back from his local, the sensation started to return to his right leg. He stumbled and almost fell over... It then took him two & a half hours to walk the half a mile home back from the pub as he had to retrain himself to walk the way that he used to when his legs were both fully operational... To this day he still takes the supplements and both legs are in full operation! So basically those “multi-vits" can provide what our bodies may be lacking from our diets of overly processed foods, however every person is different and what may work for one might not necessarily be right for another. I'll update you with what those magic tabs were... (Probably turn out to be LSD or something... )

Have you tried using those “Bowie" balls from the Labyrinth??!!... I've heard it helps if you get the blonde mullet and leggings on the go as well (the tighter, the better).

Our band perform lots of obscure covers and, from the audience's perspective, they may as well be originals as they've never heard them before... If you wanna get the crowd moving (preferably not to another venue...) you'll either want to give them what they know (popular covers), give them what they think they know (original songs that you've completely ripped off from popular covers. Don't worry, it's not plagiarism, it's “homage"!!) OR... (what our band do) give them money to spend at the bar... Yeah, we might be out of pocket by the end of the night and yeah, sometimes the crowd can get violent when their told that your bank won't increase it's overdraft... but what's really important here is that you get to play music and you get to make people listen... Moral of the story; If you're gonna do covers, do “popular" covers. If you're gonna do “obscure" covers, pass them off as your own (you might actually get signed). If you're gonna do originals, don't bother... They're awful, you have no idea how to write a song or encapsulate a moment, you won't be recognised or appreciated and you certainly won't get any gigs other than the shows you hold in your own back garden in front of your pets (that are only hovering around because they haven't been fed yet...)

If this is what happens to a drummer scorned I would dread to think what would happen to our band should we get on the wrong side of our drummer... He's a coder (and semi-decent drummer) who literally controls all our online media presence “errr... no, that's fine... If you want to incorporate a six minute drum solo into each of our songs that's cool... "