Haha! So many in here that could have been lifted straight out of my head. Especially:
"Cool, I've been spot on so far... ah crap!"
"How does that middle 8 bit go again?"
"Why is he playing that bit now?"
"Are we nearly done yet?"
"Gah, it's the last song, I was enjoying that!"
"I wish that guy behaving like a Sir Richard Head III would go home." (probably this is what the audience are thinking of me too)
Personally I love it when they leave the telly on so I can watch MOTD or whatever. I tend to just play then without being distracted so much by this other stuff, strange as it may sound. Although there's a video of us playing in a pub where the telly with the footy on was right next to me, and all the way through the song I'm basically just looking off to the side ignoring the audience. At one point you can see me going "ooooh!" when someone hit the post. Probably not my most professional moment.