Back in the day I played in an 8-piece funk band. However, the core of the unit (myself inlcluded) used to do the workingmen's club circuit to drum up money for recording time. Stuff like A 45 of Foxtrots, etc, a break then an hour or so of standards before the DJ took over. One afternoon we loaded into a Miners' Welfare Club and began to set up. As we were having a quick soundcheck, out of the corner of my eye, near the stage door, I caught a figure with Highland Dress in his arms having a muted discussion with a club convener. Bothj men kept glancing in our direction and the Highland Dress guy appeared animated and annoyed, then swept away to a dressing room. 'Is everything alright?' we asked, 'We haven't been double-booked?' The convener said everything was ok, but his tone betrayed him.
It transpired that Highland Dress man was expecting a pick-up band to busk along with his Scottish shortbread-tin tunes and we nixxi'd that right away. So, later we go on and do our usual 45 of dance tunes. As we were winding up and announcing a break, Highland Dress man - in full Highland regalia - swept forth onto the stage and began regaling the audience with tales and a few little a capella tunes, nothing long or major. Then he launched into another tale about Glasgow and as he winds up he turned to us and said 'And with that, Ladies and Gentlemen, I Belong to Glasgow!!! Take it away, boys, in G!!' Myself and the guitarist busked it but the keyboard player and the drummer murdered it!! It was the most cringeworthy performance I witnessed, and I was part of it!
Highland Dress left the stage, puce. He could be heard shouting at the convener.