Bassfinger

I recall one gig I did as a young chap, when a filly in the front row lifted her T shirt and gave me both barrels. I was pretty stiff myself after that.

Everything posted on Facebook is either fake news or plain tosh.

I had one of those but I lost it.

Mrs Bassfingers car eats your CDs and memorises them so you don't need the actual disc again. It also connects to the home WiFi so it can have your audio collection off the computer indoors. It'll also play mp3s via Bluetooth etc. It also updates its own software with Volvo overnight via the WiFi. Talk about Big Brother. But when I'm in it I still filch the CD out of my car and slip in in the slot in the dash. Doesn't get simpler than that.

I only buy CDs. But I'm old.

Time to start a solo career.

Not much live music in my village, unless you count the druids chanting as the wicker man burns.

Sorted out that minor mistake for you Mr Bee.

Mick Butler is an American rock DJ. Clearly the guitar was stolen from him, and you will be abducted by the FBI before lunchtime.

No, never played Superstition. Rock covers, and if the punters at the Goat and Vasectomy don't like it they can bog off.

Right, having fitted the scratchplate I've immediately demounted it while the poly cures. It's a waiting game now. Another week or so for the poly to cure so it can have a final rub down. I've some machine heads on the way, and I'm looking at pickups and a control plate.

Welcome to Jazz club.

Thanks for the encouragement team. Here's a pic. The flash kinda flattens out the image a bit and softens the appearance of the "wear" on the edges and contours. The bridge is dead level, but a trick of perspective makes it loom a fraction skewed in the pic. A few more days for the poly to harden and I'll give it a final buff. Interesting times finding a neck plate. The holes on the body were pre drilled, which was a bummer because that seemed to be spaced differently to the norm. Still, after countless hours of Ebay searching I found a plate and screw set in Malaysia with the correct spacing for a whole £2. I fitted the neck earlier that was perhaps wise on a still soft finish, but I wanted the whole lot hi g ul and safely out of harm's way. Pleased that the neck pocket was cut well amd accepted the neck perfectly. Using a 50cm ruler against the side of the neck I was pleased to see a mere 1mm difference in a line extended out to the rear pickup cut out, so that saved me a lot of grief fiddling to get it lined up, Scratchplate due to arrive today according to My Herpes. Assuming it arrives as promised and intact I'll offer it up to get a flavour of how it'll look and to check it fits, but will leave it a few more days before actual fitting.

I bought a Jazz body from Ebay. "Maple", they said. "My arriss", I said when I received it. I'm not an expert woodologist [new word, (c) Bassfinger Enterprises 2019] but I suspect its basswood. In any case, it's one piece, no joins or evidence of bookmarking anywhere. It was also infernally cheap at a score, and well shaped and finished. I rubbed it down to smooth it fully, and braved the spiders and startled hobo in the shed to look for unguents to colour it. I have shotguns and air rifles and found half a tin of mahogany tinted danish oil which hadn't congealed solid, so out that same. Further rummaging revealed a can of gloss polyurethane that the hobo hadn't sniffed so I snaffled that too. The danish oil worked fine, but seemed a bit more orangey in hue than I recall. Perhaps it had aged, or maybe the hobo had wee'd in it? No matter, it looks ok so I wiped on 3 coats on the body. I let that dry a day and used 800 grit wet and dry to rub it down wet, almost but not quite rubbing through on the edges, body contours, and bits where high wear might be expected. I then rubbed a final coat all over so the whole thing is done, but the colouring is now noticeably thinner in the high wear areas. Faux wear, tres trendy. 4 coats of spray poly, which is currently still hardening. Once its cured properly I'll buff that to a glossy shine, again with extra attention to the edges etc. Seems to have darken the colouring slightly, which is good. Careworn rather that roadworn. And that's where it's at now. Once the buffing is done I'll post up another pic. I've plumped for a cream scratchplate to go with the aged look, and the vintage style knobs. Undecided as to pick ups or machine heads as yet. I like the look of pickups with rails rather than individual poles on a Jazz, so will keep my eyes peeled. Bridge will be Wilkinson because it's cheap, very neatly finished, and only £8.99.

Bought this neck off ebay, second hand but unused. My arriss is it a G&L, although it looks nice. Jazz width, rosewood...its an odd one, cos the frets are nicely done and the fingerboard well finished, but the tuner mounting holes aren't all well spaced and E is well out of line with the corresponding groove on the nut, which I'm not happy about. The pic doesn't show this to good effect. But there you go, can't be too fussy for 13 sovs. Plan is for a jazz type build. I want a sort of relic'd patina look, but I want it to look well used, as if its worn though years of loving use, and not beaten or abused is if it's been in a blender with a pit bull and a breeze block. You know, that warm kind of look that develops through years of handling where the skin on your palm wears things gracefully and makes them shiny. I don't want to spend a fortune. Bass is still early days for me having recently converted from geetar, and I'm saving for a proper Steinberger, and simultaneously trying to pay off the final dregs of my mortgage. Add to that that I have the fine craftsmanship ability of a Glaswegian blacksmith who's half cut on single malt and angry through being forced to work overtime, and you can see that this could be challenging. More pics to follow as this progresses.

I like the G&L. Traditional, as youd expect from something that Leo himself was involved in, but with just enough going on above and beyond the comparable Fender offerings gs to make them interesting. Wouldn't be upset if Santa bought me one.

Shes crying because her Mum bought her a PB for Christmas instead of the JB she wanted.

I'd tell them to get bent, with 3 possible responses... You entered into a contract to move parcel of ABC size. If they then collected a parcel of XYZ size without referring back to you then that's their problem for making an unsolicited co,election and delivery. Or... The parcel was the correct size, and their records are faulty. It's up to them to prove otherwise. Or... If you din't sign anything when it was delivered just deny all knowledge any any oversized parcel.

A pick player, like wot I generally do.

I could probably make more as a busker, and wouldn't have the commute to worry about.

You southern mainland Scots lightweights. When I was a kid in Voe it was a 40+ mile round trip on our bicycles to get to Lerwick, which barely passed for civilisation back then. And "roads" was a very optimistic term for many of them - many were farm tracks with ideas above their station. I never even laid eyes on a bus until I was well into my teens.

I nominate Phil Lynott. If not the best Bass Face, then certainly the meanest.

Indeed. I consult on projects, some of which are occasionally worth tens of millions. No one ever asks for my NI number prior to hiring me. Daughter #3 is an accountant. I'll ask her if there is any lawful use for someones NI number when doing business.

I would politely tell the chap "no". You're under no obligation to provide it, and he has no lawful use for it should you supply it.

They're an equal opportunities employer - they give jobs to guitarists and bassists.