Bassfinger

I can drive our Smart car just fine, although I discovered its near impossible with my Dad in the passenger seat as he's much the same size as me and we overlap in the middle too much. Ditto my Daughters old Peugeot 107 (that was a fun car to thrash about). No, it seems to be the run of the mill sized cars where I struggle, the Golf's, Mondeo's etc. That's part of the reason I went for the XC90. Work are used to me hiring large cars or pickups when I'm in the field, although my current firm's bean counters got stressey over it when I first joined. I put a stop to it - when I was at the London office for a presentation I popped in to see said bean counter, squeezed into her office chair, and asked how she thought I would fit in a Fiesta when I struggle to even close the drivers door on a Mondeo due to the restricted shoulder width? To be fair she apologised, and as long as I don't extract the urine (no Bentley SUV's etc) I get them signed off ok now. It has occasionally caused problems where I've been unable to squeeze into light aircraft at work. Pilots are, quite rightly, picky about flying with the doors open and more than once I've been left on the tarmac having to find alternative transport (usually sucking it up and hiring a pickup and taking my time, but once the firm sprang for a helo) because I couldn't fit on board. Cessna 15x, 17x, 18x series no problem, Robin's no way, some Socata's are OK (the wide fuselage models, just).

A layer of chrome plate keeps nickel looking nice and shiny.

Christ, I have a hard enough time finding trousers at 6'5" with a 35 inside leg. An extra inch would be ruinous (fnarr).

I supposed it would sell so well if they simply described it as a "brown speaker".

I know my height as that is what the Army measured me at when I had my medical. I was 18 by then so don't suppose I've got any taller.

Yodel jerked me around last week. I'm off work at the moment, but still have a life. Nevertheless, when I got the alert at 0629hrs that the parcel was now out for delivery I elected to remain in all day as it was a large item (a JB body) and I didn't want it left on the doorstep. It didn't arrive until lunchtime the next day. The only one I like is DPD, purely because the Sikh guy that does our local round has been doing it for donkeys and is well known, and doesn't take the pith. If he ever left to do something else we'd be stuffed.

Booked to see Jethro Tull in Aylesbury next September, though doubtless will have seen someone else before then.

Not that I'm a woodologist of any kind, but I'm pretty sure the fingerboard isn't mahogany. I'm not sure how he thinks bolting on £360 worth of bits to a £150 bass suddenly makes the instrument worth £399. Those maths never worked when I was 17 and souping up my Allegro by bolting spoilers and spotlights to it, and nearly 35 years on those maths still don't add up for musical instruments.

If you see a Kay guitar with stickers then they're probably there for structural purposes.

Great player, but leaves me cold. Not my thing at all.

I love the sheen on the headstock.

Don't Believe a Word, Thin Lizzy.

There are ways to prevent PayPal doing so.

Wait until the payment has cleared properly and made it into your bank account. Once it's there, coolio.

Will you be wearing one of those pointy bras as well?

Some flavour of passive Jazz Bass.

I'm only am pretend soft southerner, but my nickname is Chopper. Aside from being quite tall and very well upholstered, it would seem that I bear an uncanny resemblance to Mark Brandon Read, albeit both of my ears are intact. My mate Lee is from Brum, and he's called Swede because he's my height and powerlifter.

I agree with La Bam's first paragraph above. Hold your ground and tell the venue that they can explain to the happy couple why the love music they'd organised won't be there. My guess is they'll retreat right quick.

Do Brian May fans have to get an Anita Dobson lookalike to go with the Red Special?

Tricky. I'm a big admirer of Phil Lynott's playing. The downside is I prefer the Jazz to the Precision. Upside is Lynott used a Jazz early in his career. Downside is there are few pictures of that particular bass, and zilch information out there to enable me to recreate it. So, I'm just building a Jazz to suit me instead.

I was born in the Northern Isles but spent most of my adult life in England, so can switch in an out of either accent at will. Obviously I love the Scots, but a tiny minority of mainland Scots have a real chip on their shoulder, so on the rare occasion one gets smug with me thinking I'm English I break into Orkneyjar and remind them who the soft southerner really is.

Good luck. Hopefully you'll be well enough to work around it. If it's any consolation I had to give up guitar after knackering my elbow and shoulder in an accident, and losing the feeling in 2 finges and partial feeling in my thumb. I was a guitar player (spit) and while I could still knock out a tune I can no longer finger pick etc, and it was depressing me. Mrs Bassfinger went out on a limb and bought me a cheap (but surprisingly playable) bass from gear4music, on the basis that the bass has a third less strings to pluck and I might be able to play it more extensively. She was right, and I'm really digging it and I'm now in the middle on building a Jazz bass to go with the cheap one. Anyway, point being that you're not alone and you may yet be able to work around it, or use your skills to try something else. With luck and a following wind your love of playing may still get soothed. Good luck

Do bands these days not take burly minders along with them, if only to fight off the groupies?

Telling someone to get to France? That's really out off line!