Leonard Smalls

Not if I chose it! We still wouldn't win, unless the Eurovoters are into crazed electric jazz with metal overtones...

Impressive array of techniques!

Me too... But it's Toucan Play!

As inspiration for this month's composition challenge...

I done some jazz! A chaotic riposte to James Blood Ulmer's "Jazz is the Teacher, Funk is the Preacher"; this is The Creature! This started life as a bass improvisation over a 140bpm click track... Bits of guitar (Strat and Gretsch) were added and layered, plus various keyboard VSTs (clavinet, rhodes). Finally some brass ensemble VST to hold it together and trumpet samples found at Loopmasters to give it more spice. The drums were assembled using 16 tracks of individual brush/cymbal/hi-hat/tom sounds from Ableton's Loopmasters jazz drums sample bank. Most tracks ever used too - 36! All mixed in Doblies with a smearing of Neutron 3 and Ozone 9, guitars going through Bias FX and bass as recorded apart from a spot of small-room reverb.

We've got 3 whole weeks off, then it's down to Gloucester for this fine event!

Listen to the flower people - Spinal Tap

Btw, this isn't the Tweets classic (!) but our own "Two Can Play" renamed by me to confuse the band.

You've Schlossed that lovin' feelin' - The Righteous Brothers

We had a bit of a schlepp over to Nottingham yesterday supporting South Africa's finest, The Soap Girls... It was the first outing for our new guitarist, who rather than humping around some enormously heavy Marshall amp, uses one of those Blackstar Amped pedals as part of his effects board. Sounded great! And as a whole we were mostly OK - I managed to mess up The Birdy Song (*), but much worse, our drummer managed to play completely the wrong rhythm for our final song which made it impossible to play to. And for some reason we decided to muddle through rather than put our hands up, point at the drummer and say "you've not only let yourself down, you've let the band down and you've let the whole audience down" then restart. Lesson learned! Still, rest of the songs were great - tight, funky and punky - I could hear myself (Parker into Helix/BBE/DBX compressor/Crown Power/Markbass 4x10 and we had folks jumping about in a groovy fashion rather than brandishing sharpened sticks and pitchforks! The Soap Girls were also excellent - great show despite the gratuitous nudity that was mainly to satisfy a number of slightly seedy-looking middle-aged gentlemen who were far more interested in getting a quick flash than in the music. And their bass player displayed impressive core strength by bending over backwards, unsupported to within an inch of the floor, then standing straight back up! They also expressed jealousy over our 2 bass line-up... Getting home took 4 hours, exacerbated by the obligatory 2am stop at motorway services to complain about the prices and quality while I smugly reminded them how I'd urged them to come and have one of the fine burgers (vegan and not!) at the adjoining brewery. I'd partaken alone, along with a fine pint of on-site brewed Castle Rock Mild while they'd complained of being full, having spoiled their tea by gorging on junk food on the way. Kids!!! Anyway, duff Soap Girls pic, none of us available:

Rockin' my Parker!

Unfortunately, it only seems to put on covers bands... Though I gather there's a new owner who may change this... We've played The Victory, The Herdsman, The Plough, Booth Hall (RIP!), The Jam Factory and that weird underground place by the river, but never had a sniff of Gordon Bennett's!

Livin’ Life (On the Edge of a Knife) - Bullet for My Valentine

I still have the instrument I learned to play piano on... My grandparents bought it in the early 1930s, and I discovered recently when having it tuned by Someone Who Knows, that it was made in the 1880s. It's a Pfeiffer overstrung, and it has amazing bass - probably what turned me on to play bass in the first place! Talking of which, I still have the first bass I bought - twas a Kawai Sleekline purchased in 1987 2nd hand for £90.

YMCA - Village People