Leonard Smalls

We've decided that we won't be playing any more of these! We'll only play dedicated music venues or festivals now where the audience have actually come to hear music, rather than the band being a too-loud irritant to folks trying to have a quiet pint, and who don't really like music anyway unless it's that song they got off with Sheena to when they were 18. They'll lean against you saying "like, yer knows the one, it goes 'dadadadumdedadum', it's great, yer know it, it's by that bloke, yer know the one" etc while I explain we're a punk funk originals band, and who knows why the landlord booked us to the PinkTorpedo Inn* near Arscott! We should have known by the "Sky Sports" sign. *It's actually in Hanwood, but near Arscott, and we've never played there - in fact I've never even been in but hear they do decent Wainrights beer. The name entertains me every time I drive past; they don't even do music and many other pubs are available that you wouldn't necessarily like to gig in!

Seems that the old link wouldn't un-embed without removing "s" from https, so here tis again!

Everything beats golf... Apart from a colonoscopy with a red hot poker!

Check these lot too... Playing Manchester, Birmingham and Leeds in October.

Had an afternoon free so thought I'd do a little ditty...

Wounded Paw blenders... I've got the V4. Just stick the fx on different loops and stomp on the loop switch as and when needed. https://www.woundedpawaudio.ca/fx/index.php?main_page=index&cPath=2&zenid=c58mtefd605j4k22l4ntkv9o93

😀 That's why I like 'em! And also why I don't like Sheryl - and most other bands where the musicians back a singer, as opposed to the singer being an equal part of the band (btw, I like brown sauce on my chips 😆). It probably stems from the fact that I don't really like singing as such - much prefer rhythmic shouting/rapping/chanting etc. And while I love what many of our more 70s oriented brethren might call "overplaying"(*), can't be doing with oversinging - whether it's the latest Mariah wannabe or opera... * I like jazz! including free improv!

I'm afraid that, as an equal opportunities misanthropist and probably as a serious minority, Sheryl does absolutely nowt for me. It feels lumpy, there's no groove or syncopation and it doesn't have metaphorical cojones. And funnily enough I've just been listening to this:

That would explain the daft grin 😄

I like a rehearsal where the drummer turns up in a foul mood cos he's had an argument with his Mrs, then the guitarist turns up drunk with no leads. After I've helped the drummer set up and lent Mr Guitar some leads I'm then most gratified when the drummer starts taking out his frustration by hitting every drum as hard as he can, with GuitarMan playing his best Hendrix impersonation at a different speed at absolute full volume. To be perfect, the singer should then turn up saying they can only stay for 1/2 an hour, at which point guitarist nips out for a 10 minute smoke break, coming back smelling of skunk and unable to stand. We'd have time to play 4 or 5 songs, but wouldn't get past the first one because: a) the singer thinks it should be faster b) the drummer thinks it should be slower c) the guitarist is sick on my pedalboard

I wasn't impressed by him (apart from his trousers! I've got their twin brother) - he seemed to spend much of the time gurning at the audience then playing something a bit lacklustre. Band were good though!

Best band of the festival for me was Janelle Monae... Excellent show, funky as, serious bass player.

Never liked the Killers. And can't see what the fuss is about with Foals - they haven't even got a bass player! However, enjoyed Goat Girl - I'm not usually indie-boy but they're just that bit more interesting. Sort of Monochrome Set-meet-The Roches! First band I've watched the whole set of (though with Idles this was because my Mrs complained about the racket). Janet Jackson was mildly entertaining but, as the Mrs said "what's with the Hitler moustache?" 😄 It just meant you couldn't really tell if it was her singing, or her backing vocalist or a backing track... Wanted to Like The Comet Is Coming - but found they never quite let go; sax player kept doing repetitive riffs when some Ornette-style squawking would have made it all wig-out properly. Looking forward to Fat White Family later today...

I quite enjoyed The Charlatans, despite the duff hair and terrible dancing! Also liked Idles, Michael Mawanuka and (surprisingly!) Two Door Cinema Club.

Sneaked an edit in... Is it Villa Strangiata?

Is it Rock the Casbah? edit: Bah! Put up the choon before my guess!!

I'd never join a band who specified: 1) what notes I should play 2) what type of bass I should play 3) which clothes I should wear I want to be free to make my own choices about what sort of eejit I look and sound like!

I got slightly confused - not Martin France but Nic France. No less serous a drummer though! Album was this: http://chivofunge.com/

No voting thread yet? At the moment I'm in line for a top 3 place!

We like the band to look like those guys who cause old ladies to cross the street, who get pointed out by mothers as an example of what will happen if you don't eat your greens/do your homework/take notice of Catechism classes, who hang around on the Rows in Chester spitting on American tourists' hats...

I've got some snakeskin ones on the way...

Quick photo from our recent Hereford gig highlighting special trousers...

Excellent! I'd give him (or her!) the gig!

Meow Meow, eh? Perhaps Pu$$y won't set off those darned filters!