Leonard Smalls

I came back from skiing on 25th January to Manchester airport... I was very surprised to see that at passport control it already said "UK citizens" (with flags of Oz, Canada etc too) one lane, other passports in the other lane. The powers that be were so rabidly keen that this had started 6 days before we'd even entered our 11 month transition period! So it doesn't surprise me that carnets are already being enforced; as Cuzzie said above, remember the "hostile environment" brought in by Ms. May! As our band is relatively new, so we haven't had the joy of trying a European tour yet - though the added grief means it's less likely. And it's a shame that all those little-ish punk bands from Italy, Germany, France will also find it much more difficult, and lovely little venues like Percy's in Whitchurch will probably have far less variety.

But where's the fun in that? We Britishers, especially us Northern Britishers love to whinge!

Aye! One would hope that since there is now a means of directly petitioning government said government would give careful consideration to those that meet the criteria, rather than just a cursory dismissal (which is what seems to have happened to most petitions!). I've also attempted to write to my local MP (on a puppy farm related issue, so only anything to do with this thread if you're in an Osmonds tribute ) - he completely ignored all my points and said he would be doing nothing as "he believes in free enterprise". So it appears that the only avenue available to change government's mind is to get the support of the red tops... Given that most folk in the country think music and the arts begins with The Voice/XFactor/Karaoke and ends with Strictly I won't be holding by breath!

Indeed... This is the sort of devil take the hindmost attitude that has seen so many cuts in funding to the most in-need. But then, I'm alright Jack!

What about putting on tariffs to help workers on, say, farms in Norfolk? Though I suspect that this government (though this is more than a suspicion!) are so free market obsessed that help won't be forthcoming to those who lose out as a result of the self-inflicted free-for-all. After all, it's survival of the fittest, eh? They'll have to adapt or die! Which isn't the sort of message that you want to hear if you've sunk all your savings into getting a thriving business going trading with our nearest neighbours over the space of 40 years only to discover that you have no idea whether you can profitably carry on that trade...

I get the nausea thing... I always find they do something interesting, groovy, accomplished. Then they mess it up with either a) that horrible singing; I can't put my finger on why it's so unpleasant to me, perhaps because it's so blatantly unoffensive? Or perhaps because his melodies and chord sequences just chime with something deep down in me that hates smoooothjazz chord sequences? I remember going to see Larry Coryell once, and while dazzled by his prowess (!) all those elevator chord changes were like being drizzled with golden syrup in a bath full of honey (I understand that this may appeal to some). b) see a), though the band's chord sequences are just as annoying as Mr Fagin's (unsurprisingly) But then I like music to be visceral, challenging. And if it's going to be quite easy, keep it simple and groovy - like dub!

While any business would welcome a reduction in red tape and bureaucracy I don't believe that the current UK government can be trusted to do that... Frinstance, I've recently been lumbered with a number of surveys I'm legally bound to fill in for the Office of National Statistics (on pain of a £5k fine). What's deeply annoying is that I also have to provide exactly the same info to another branch of government (HMRC), just in a different format. Not only that, but another new law has just appeared where any business storing data on a computer or even just having cctv has to pay a fee of up to £2900 to the Information Commissioners office... Neither of these are likely to help businesses cope with the rest of the "opportunities" that the country has democratically foisted on them!

While I'm not directly of Scotchish descent, I have the name of one of the ancient clans (my ancestors were kicked out during the clearances), so I would also like to register my interest. Though my wife has an Irish granny, and I have a German mother so we can always escape to furrin' if necessary. Though whether we manage to do that before BlowJo pulls out the big plug and we all start to sink, Atlantis-style, into the newly enlargened Atlantic!

Indeed! {Cues up "Rule Britannia} And we'll have our empire back, we'll all be able to leave our back doors open, and we'll get proper summers and winters again, none of that EU climate change nonsense! 😂

I can see the sunlit uplands and the frolicking unicorns from here! However, just to throw a spanner in the works music-wise, I won't be looking forward to the possible return of carnets... Back in the late 80s I used to work in an office at the BBC doing carnets for film crews going to the far east... Every single piece of equipment, together with serial numbers, cases they came in, batteries, leads, connectors etc would have to be detailed in full, otherwise there'd be at best a lengthy delay (which cost a lot of money), or worse a delay plus a demand for import duty for the equipment to be released. And I was actually employed to do it right; imagine a band who don't know the possible problems trying to do a full carnet! Say you've already submitted it, then need new strings but can't get the brand that's on the carnet. Or the day before going the Whirlwind lead you've put on the form conks out and you put an OBBM one in instead. All of which could leave the band sat in customs for hours trying to prove how much they paid for the item and trying not to pay local VAT on it!

I'm afraid that's a rather blinkered view that ignores the fact that all art is entirely subjective.. All it says is " the music I like is better than the music you like, and not only that but you must be completely clueless not to like my music". I could say exactly the same (possibly with more reason 😉) about those who don't like proper innovators like, say, Derek Bailey. Or Ornette Coleman. Or Ronald Shannon Jackson's Decoding Society... 😋

But look at all that wonderful new freedom you'll have now that all our laws and regulations will be made by sensible English folks rather than by dastardly Johnny Foreigner! 😁

I refer the honourable gentleman to his quote from another thread...

Bosses? Decent wage? As a boss, we've had terrible trouble finding people to work for us - we don't pay the minimum wage but the Living Wage as a minimum. We can't afford to pay any more - the business just won't take it - though we give a pay rise every year. And I suspect it's the same for most other SMEs - they have to pay at least minimum wage, but often pay more. And they still find it difficult to find suitable people; all we ask for are folks who are willing to learn, can string a sentence together and are friendly and outgoing (we're a shop!). And we've found that the majority of applicants can't write a coherent CV, can't be bothered to write even a basic covering letter and haven't even attempted to find out what our business is. However, we've found Lithuanians who seem to far more personable and fluent in English! So far we've only managed to find one English person under 30 to work for us...

I never listen to lyrics! Or at least rarely... I'm a bass player who plays too many notes, I haven't got time for singists as well, especially ones who sound quite so annoying as Herr Fagin! Like I said, the best thing about them for me is their name...

When I was a young goth student I supplemented my grant by doing funk djing... As this was back in the 80s I had no idea how to find records by new funk artists - the NME and Sounds were no help! So I'd go and browse Jumbo Records imports section (can you tell where I was?) and buy anything with a black guy on the cover holding a bass, especially if it said in the credits "thanks to God and my mom" One day I bought an album that fulfilled all those criteria - sharp suit, sharp haircut, Stenberger bass, thanks to God and mom... Took it home expecting The Bomb, and it was a crazy jazz cacophony - funky, to be fair, but absolutely mad with ridiculous widdling and absolutely no-one urging us to hold our hands in the air. I late learned (after I had an epiphany and grew to love it, just not for discos!) that the man was Ornette Coleman's Prime Time bass player, and the album was:

Now I love Stewart (!) Lee, and would strongly dispute that what he does with comedy is anything like what old Soapy Dan did with muzak! Mr. Lee is edgy, pushed boundaries and is very clever. SD are most certainly not edgy, they didn't push any boundaries at all, and while they were obviously quite clever I feel they weren't quite as clever as they thought they were After all, they're not exactly Ornette Coleman. Or Miles Davis, or Coltrane, or anyone else who moved music on in leaps and bounds. They created their own sound, to be fair, and they're pretty instantly recognisable (though that's largely down to Fagin's {nails-on-a-blackboard} voice), but it was only ever just nice. And you'd never say Stewart Lee was nice. Michael Mcintyre, maybe! Still, each to their own; it's not like they're Little Mix at least!!!

For me, the best thing about Steely Dan is the name Otherwise, I find they veer wildly through all sorts of musical genres, from Elevator through to Dinner Jazz then all the way into Full On Cheese. Just to annoy they'll follow all that with a minute of sublime groove, then it's back to ElevatorDinnerCheese topped off with that annoying voice. So while they play very well indeed, and what they play is perfectly executed, I just wish they'd played something with a little more edge (not The Edge, obvs), perhaps with cojones of at least quadruple the size they normally display!

Here it is! Actual physical product to follow... https://choked.bandcamp.com/album/blood-sport-e-p

Thanks to local flooding causing our rehearsal to be cancelled I thought I'd have a play with my new IzoTope Iris synth plug-in... So here's my latest 1 improvised take of everything 2 minute mini epic. Who needs structure?

Ruts - Babylon's Brning Ian Dury - Rhythm Stick Bauhaus - Telegram Sam (Trouble Funk - Drop the Bomb)

I feel a quota system might be good though... So all cover bands would have to submit set lists to The Powers That Be. On a first-com-first-served basis individual song choices would be limited, so that by the time (for some songs!) 1 band has said it's going to play "Sex on Fire" no other bands would be able to play it until the next gig (if they're quick enough). That way when you walk between boozers that do covers bands you won't hear Freebird in all of them. Some songs would have special dispensation, so if you were going to do a Shockabilly type version of Smoke on the Water that'd be fine, or if you were to attempt a funk version of the Cramps' "Human Fly" you'd be awarded extra credits to play unlimited Mustang Sallys... It would encourage some creativity in set list choices!

Stick with whatever you've got... But buy a tube of superglue. Coat tips, thumb edges/whatever you hit the strings together. Worked for me when my tips were babysoft and wussy! However, make sure the glue has dried before touching anything, especially other fingers!

Bootsy is Mr Envelope Filter! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Sh9cezHNec&list=RD2Sh9cezHNec&index=1 (unfortunately embedding not allowed...)

Gang of Four's influential guitarist Andy Gill died last Saturday, and legendary jazz guitarist Ronny Drayton died yesterday... For those who don't know Ronny, he played with Jamaaladeen Tacuma (check "Dreamscape"), James Blood Ulmer, Living Colour, Nona Hendryx, Defunkt and many more. RIP!