Leonard Smalls

Indeed! {Cues up "Rule Britannia} And we'll have our empire back, we'll all be able to leave our back doors open, and we'll get proper summers and winters again, none of that EU climate change nonsense! 😂

I can see the sunlit uplands and the frolicking unicorns from here! However, just to throw a spanner in the works music-wise, I won't be looking forward to the possible return of carnets... Back in the late 80s I used to work in an office at the BBC doing carnets for film crews going to the far east... Every single piece of equipment, together with serial numbers, cases they came in, batteries, leads, connectors etc would have to be detailed in full, otherwise there'd be at best a lengthy delay (which cost a lot of money), or worse a delay plus a demand for import duty for the equipment to be released. And I was actually employed to do it right; imagine a band who don't know the possible problems trying to do a full carnet! Say you've already submitted it, then need new strings but can't get the brand that's on the carnet. Or the day before going the Whirlwind lead you've put on the form conks out and you put an OBBM one in instead. All of which could leave the band sat in customs for hours trying to prove how much they paid for the item and trying not to pay local VAT on it!

I'm afraid that's a rather blinkered view that ignores the fact that all art is entirely subjective.. All it says is " the music I like is better than the music you like, and not only that but you must be completely clueless not to like my music". I could say exactly the same (possibly with more reason 😉) about those who don't like proper innovators like, say, Derek Bailey. Or Ornette Coleman. Or Ronald Shannon Jackson's Decoding Society... 😋

But look at all that wonderful new freedom you'll have now that all our laws and regulations will be made by sensible English folks rather than by dastardly Johnny Foreigner! 😁

I refer the honourable gentleman to his quote from another thread...

Bosses? Decent wage? As a boss, we've had terrible trouble finding people to work for us - we don't pay the minimum wage but the Living Wage as a minimum. We can't afford to pay any more - the business just won't take it - though we give a pay rise every year. And I suspect it's the same for most other SMEs - they have to pay at least minimum wage, but often pay more. And they still find it difficult to find suitable people; all we ask for are folks who are willing to learn, can string a sentence together and are friendly and outgoing (we're a shop!). And we've found that the majority of applicants can't write a coherent CV, can't be bothered to write even a basic covering letter and haven't even attempted to find out what our business is. However, we've found Lithuanians who seem to far more personable and fluent in English! So far we've only managed to find one English person under 30 to work for us...

I never listen to lyrics! Or at least rarely... I'm a bass player who plays too many notes, I haven't got time for singists as well, especially ones who sound quite so annoying as Herr Fagin! Like I said, the best thing about them for me is their name...

When I was a young goth student I supplemented my grant by doing funk djing... As this was back in the 80s I had no idea how to find records by new funk artists - the NME and Sounds were no help! So I'd go and browse Jumbo Records imports section (can you tell where I was?) and buy anything with a black guy on the cover holding a bass, especially if it said in the credits "thanks to God and my mom" One day I bought an album that fulfilled all those criteria - sharp suit, sharp haircut, Stenberger bass, thanks to God and mom... Took it home expecting The Bomb, and it was a crazy jazz cacophony - funky, to be fair, but absolutely mad with ridiculous widdling and absolutely no-one urging us to hold our hands in the air. I late learned (after I had an epiphany and grew to love it, just not for discos!) that the man was Ornette Coleman's Prime Time bass player, and the album was:

Now I love Stewart (!) Lee, and would strongly dispute that what he does with comedy is anything like what old Soapy Dan did with muzak! Mr. Lee is edgy, pushed boundaries and is very clever. SD are most certainly not edgy, they didn't push any boundaries at all, and while they were obviously quite clever I feel they weren't quite as clever as they thought they were After all, they're not exactly Ornette Coleman. Or Miles Davis, or Coltrane, or anyone else who moved music on in leaps and bounds. They created their own sound, to be fair, and they're pretty instantly recognisable (though that's largely down to Fagin's {nails-on-a-blackboard} voice), but it was only ever just nice. And you'd never say Stewart Lee was nice. Michael Mcintyre, maybe! Still, each to their own; it's not like they're Little Mix at least!!!

For me, the best thing about Steely Dan is the name Otherwise, I find they veer wildly through all sorts of musical genres, from Elevator through to Dinner Jazz then all the way into Full On Cheese. Just to annoy they'll follow all that with a minute of sublime groove, then it's back to ElevatorDinnerCheese topped off with that annoying voice. So while they play very well indeed, and what they play is perfectly executed, I just wish they'd played something with a little more edge (not The Edge, obvs), perhaps with cojones of at least quadruple the size they normally display!

Here it is! Actual physical product to follow... https://choked.bandcamp.com/album/blood-sport-e-p

Thanks to local flooding causing our rehearsal to be cancelled I thought I'd have a play with my new IzoTope Iris synth plug-in... So here's my latest 1 improvised take of everything 2 minute mini epic. Who needs structure?

Ruts - Babylon's Brning Ian Dury - Rhythm Stick Bauhaus - Telegram Sam (Trouble Funk - Drop the Bomb)

I feel a quota system might be good though... So all cover bands would have to submit set lists to The Powers That Be. On a first-com-first-served basis individual song choices would be limited, so that by the time (for some songs!) 1 band has said it's going to play "Sex on Fire" no other bands would be able to play it until the next gig (if they're quick enough). That way when you walk between boozers that do covers bands you won't hear Freebird in all of them. Some songs would have special dispensation, so if you were going to do a Shockabilly type version of Smoke on the Water that'd be fine, or if you were to attempt a funk version of the Cramps' "Human Fly" you'd be awarded extra credits to play unlimited Mustang Sallys... It would encourage some creativity in set list choices!

Stick with whatever you've got... But buy a tube of superglue. Coat tips, thumb edges/whatever you hit the strings together. Worked for me when my tips were babysoft and wussy! However, make sure the glue has dried before touching anything, especially other fingers!

Bootsy is Mr Envelope Filter! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Sh9cezHNec&list=RD2Sh9cezHNec&index=1 (unfortunately embedding not allowed...)

Gang of Four's influential guitarist Andy Gill died last Saturday, and legendary jazz guitarist Ronny Drayton died yesterday... For those who don't know Ronny, he played with Jamaaladeen Tacuma (check "Dreamscape"), James Blood Ulmer, Living Colour, Nona Hendryx, Defunkt and many more. RIP!

Anybody else suffering a low-level high pitched whistle from their FI? Is it likely to suffer impedance issues when connected to a FX loop blender with other FX on other loops? It's only the FI producing a whistle - not the BassWhammy, FwonkBeta or 3Leaf Envelope Filter...

First concert - Jiving Daleks at the Albion, Chester, 1979, closely followed by Ian Dury and the Blockheads at Deeside 1979 Last concert - Haven't seen a big band for years - not since Hall and Oates in Birmingham 2003ish. Twas cheesey… Lots of local bands though! Best concert - Either time I saw Ian Dury (2nd time at Madstock where we had backstage passes), or Kraftwerk at Liverpool Empire 1980ish, or Chilli Peppers at the Mean Fiddler 1987ish, or Bootsy at the Barbican 1997ish, or Jonas Hellborg at the Bass Clef in 1992 or so, or perhaps Butthole Surfers at the Mean Fiddler, 91ish Worst concert - Lost Virgins From Outer Space at the Opera on the Green (terrible! couldn't even tune their own instruments) or Primal Scream at the Town and Country Club - the sound was appalling and they played very badly! Loudest concert - Swans at the Mean Fiddler. Eek! Seen the most - Wilko Johnson or Ozric Tentacles Most surprising - Sky Architect Next concert - Wilko Johnson in Shrewsbury Wish I would have seen - Sex Pistols when they played Quaintways in Chester. They wouldn't let me in!

All questions answered over on vinyl engine... https://www.vinylengine.com/turntable_forum/viewtopic.php?t=84592

Funnily enough, I've just finished an excellent novel about jazz in Nazi Germany - it was of course very popular in the "decadent" Weimar Republic. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Half-Blood_Blues#/media/File:Half-Blood_Blues_book_cover.jpg

I always use combined effects 😁 I normally have on a Future Impact bass synth (with 80s funk zeeeeeeooooow sound), two different envelope followers (one's a Bootsy fwapfwap sound, the other adds a sweep low end), plus basswhammy pedal which either adds one or two octaves (I emphasise some vocal lines by following them 2 octaves up), plus Darkglass tube distortion to thicken up and add grit. All except the distortion are on separate loops of a Wounded Paw blender, so I can control loop and blend levels with the Darkglass on the final output. Not sure how that helps with a Line 6... But I'd say play with it; it's taken me a couple of years to work out how all mine fitted together!

Another gig booked, this time at the Dementia benefit fest at The Dolls House - we're on right in the middle of Punk Easter Sunday! Edited to add: postponed....

Excellent! It'll give you the chance to see our new direction, with breathey vocals and Clannad style backing. 😁😁😁 Full Chester Massive or Lurksalone?

I read the book at age 13... Not as worrying as "Crash" that I read immediately after...