Leonard Smalls

I was on the Events crew at Leeds University, somebody asked me if I'd mix the band who were playing in the Tartan Bar as he had a date... I had very little clue, but managed to get a passable sound from The Sisters of Mercy - it was one of their 1st gigs. I also saw the Red Hot Chilli Peppers 1st UK gig at the Clarendon in Hammersmith - maybe 50 people there - and I was at the infamous Mean Fiddler gig where Hillel Slovak "was taken ill" leaving just the 3 of them to continue. Flea coped very well and played even more notes than he usually does!

I was originally a sound engineer at BBC TV, then moved into Post Production Technical Management... Left London and retrained as an electrician, did up and sold quite a few houses, continued sparkying. Meanwhile, the Mrs opened a garden centre - as it seemed easier than crawling about in spider-filled attics I now work there (part-time, rest of the time I look after our 5 dogs and annoy the neighbours by playing bass very loudly).

Bit of Blood...

As you can probably tell, this isn't a live video, though everybody involved was live... Vid features my occasional band (est. 1983!) and was shot and edited by me... And to show we have appeared live before, here's the Weeds in Sheffield, with Sister Bez (overheard at this gig, one Sheffield youth to another "I don't know what the f... it is but I think I like it!")

Perhaps if Marshall Allen, Sonny Sharrock and Peter Brotzmann had played for the Modern (!) Jazz Quartet (after they'd changed their name, obvs) they would have been a good deal more interesting!

Indeed! I feel that the longer a "nice" melody goes on without veering off somewhere crazy and inspired, the more likely the music is to be of the ElevatorCheese variety... And I was brought up with trad jazz - MJQ were thought to be at the cutting edge of atonality!

Here's the late Sonny Sharrock rockin' out with Melvin Gibbs... I saw him around this time at the Festival Hall - never seen someone use so many guitar picks, and never heard such crazy jazz guitar!

None! Slot machine in a Native American casino perhaps? Either way, Hubert Laws on flute, Billy Cobham on drums...

I've made a party banger...

I may have done a bangin' choon... No jazz, no dissonance, just big beats!

You rang?

There should be no hiss or noise due to a short run of unbalanced cable... If your cable runs are less than about 3m I'd check that there isn't a coil, or a tangle with a mains lead or perhaps it's too close to a wall wart power supply. If not, remake the connections -clean if necessary, make sure you haven't got too much gain going into them or that the speakers themselves haven't got too much gain or treble boost.

I remember George Clinton asking the rhetorical question in Parliament's "P-Funk (wants to get funked up)" " Can you imaging Doobiein' your funk?"

Only once I get out of this truss...

If you're bringing your mother I'll leave it at our shop - it's a lovely garden centre near Ludlow...

I suspect this bass may be residing with me in Ludlow... As I rarely go anywhere I won't be able to take it anywhere, though I have a gig in Nottingham 27th March, one in Hereford 2nd April and one in Abertillary 12th April if that helps. Otherwise there's a possible one in Cheltenham May 2nd - though that's not confirmed.

After visiting my local head-shrink...

If only it had been Dave Vanian and the boys! 😎

I've been listening to some Bristolian indiefunksters channelling the Slits...

Hip? Only if they subscribe to this doctrine: 😄 Though perhaps retro-cheese is just as hip as cassettes (*) in these crazy days! * saying that. a m8 of mine sent me his new album the other day. On cassette... I asked him how he expected me to play it - he said push the side and the usb connector will pop out!

I've never cut mine... I stick it in the slot, then gently move it round a couple of times. Holding tightly onto that end, I get the ball and ram that into the other slot. While keeping tension I turn the knob until it's tight. Never had a problem with them going floppy!

Back in about 1991 I was in a band that was doing quite well - headlines at the Marquee, reviews in NME and Melody Maker, big supports with Carter and Gaye Bykers. Our manager felt we would be "making it soon" so our guitarist and keyboard player left their jobs. But we never did make it; guitarman went to college to study furniture restoration, keys went back to removals, then moved to Wales... With new keys we were making the best music we ever had, our stageshow was exciting but somehow it just fizzled out. Luckily I didn't leave my job until 10 years later, and that was only to escape That London!

But only as far as page 8! 😎😁

😃 I always do this sort of thing when it's my turn to go plinkitty plink plinky plink wahboom: