Leonard Smalls

Miniature Disaster - KT Tunstall

No Forkin' Problem - Suicidal Tendencies

Backdoor Santa - Clarence Carter

Bath Chain Puller - Captain Beefheart

Long-Haired lover From Liverpool Street - Little Jimmy Osmond

Euston Rifles - The Jam

Trans Siberian Express - Bardi Blaise

As he only played with the one magic amp (can't remember what it was either, was probably a touch squiffy by then), it was difficult to tell. Though he was pretty darn good, and I don't think it was off backing tracks either! Next time I saw him he was also awesome, as was Bernie Worrell on keys. Though Ginger Baker was constantly tuning his snare, and compared to serious jazzy drummists I've seen, distinctly average.

I remember going to see Bootsy's Rubber Band at the Clapham Grand and he didn't come on till about 2330, despite being billed as 2100. Everyone missed their tubes... And I went to see Jonas Hellborg at the Blue Note - due to an alleged difficulty getting hold of some fancy amp (you'd think someone would organise these things!) he came on about half midnight!

(I bit my) Mother Tongue - Weeds

Lost in France - Bonnie Tyler

Bonin' in the Boneyard - Fishbone

Not a miss-press, but I remember getting a copy of Joy Division's "Licht und Blindheim" limited edition single on Sordide Sentimental records. My French penfriend bought it for me in exchange for a UK Subs single... So stupidly I sold it for £40 back in 1981. They're now going for about £1500!

We're going to Ibiza - Vengaboys

Backdoor Love Affair - ZZ Top

I suspect that middle-men are in some way to blame as well... I've got a mate who works for a major artist agency - he has a number of bands he books tours for and stuff. One of them - a well known UK band - gets around £25k/gig. From that, he gets £5k! He's now in the process of retiring to a lovely villa by the sea just north of Biarritz.

Better Than You - Cardi B

Our drummer in the EDM dance-rock band is bowing out due to painful tinnitus (from another band, I hasten to add) so we'd like to find another electronic drummer. It could be pads, triggers, e-drums but not acoustic... We have a sequence on laptop plus bass, 2 guitars and vox. As we're currently spread between the west of Ireland, Manchester, Shropshire and the South of France the new recruit could be from almost anywhere, but must be willing to get together roughly annually for a couple of gigs and rehearsals before - next year we're aiming for very close together gigs in Chester and London. We're also putting together new material for another album - this is collaborative and invariably remotely done...

Aye... But I looked into buying Kraftwerk tickets recently - seemed they were doing the same dynamic pricing nonsense. Tickets at £50odd suddenly leapt up to £100+ for no apparant reason. I wouldn't mind but Kraftwerk haven't done any new music for 30ish years and are now not much more than a tribute band!

I would never pay £BigMoney to see a band at the Enormodome - firstly you can barely see 'em, sound in a huge hanger is usually terrible, there's no sense of intimacy and there's 20000 other people there who've also paid well over the odds. But unfortunately, while people pay stupid prices (Oasis!) the stupid prices will exist.

I would never pay £BigMoney to see a band at the Enormodome - firstly you can barely see 'em, sound in a huge hanger is usually terrible, there's no sense of intimacy and there's 20000 other people there who've also paid well over the odds. But unfortunately, while people pay stupid prices (Oasis!) the stupid prices will exist.

In a Silent Way - Miles Davis

Walk The Dinosaur - Was Not Was

No More Hirohitos - The Stranglers

Pee-Funk (Wants to get funked up) - Parliament