Leonard Smalls

Wot? Is it some disgustingness of which I'm unaware? How could this be? There's a band called Lucky Pierre in Llandrindod Wells... Edited to add: Aah, now I see. At least I didn't use images when I searched!

Poster for our gig at Going Feral Fest - we're headlining the Cut Scrutter Stage at 9pm 11th September...

Tis a lovely comfy place to sit! Unfortunately, a band exists called that, and they look metal to me... Actually, they're The Judas Cradle - splitters! 😁

For old skool metal, you can't go wrong with mediaeval torture devices. You can't have Iron Maiden, but these may be available! THE SAW THE CAGE THE CRADLE OF JUDAS THE SPREADING THE KNEE BREAKER THE SPANISH DONKEY ANGEL PEAR THE FORK OF HERETIC THE SUPPLICE OF THE RAT THE SPANISH SPIDER

You'd be surprised how many times the bwggers have knocked on my door waving their so-called million pound contract expecting me to prostitute myself to them and write songs for Steps! I've had to call Rentokil in more than once...

Mine were: Bunsen Burner and the Peanut Roasters - short lived punk band while still at school, did 1 gig at a party 6th Peace - band put together in 6th form solely to do some hippy peace songs as a prelude to showing the scary Beeb docu on A-bombs Dredd and the Badass Weeds - Met at Uni, played plenty gigs around Leeds varying wildly from funk to metal to reggae, had some illustrious members such as Chris Haskett (who went to the Rollins Band) and Jay Rayner (!). After Uni, 2 members went off to be MDMA, which morphed into Utah Saints. Original Weeds core still get together occasionally for a 1-off gig Uncle George and his Crazy Rubber Thing - short-lived funk band with Argentinian singer who sounded like Michael Jackson Barf Roco - Funk punk band, did many gigs between 1988 and 1993, some supporting the likes of Carter and Gaye Bykers MongoShakers - began as a weird funk band, and changed into a fully improv jazz-funk band. Contained members of Lol Coxhill's lot - most memorable gig was on a roof in Shoreditch, opposite the Bricklayer's Arms where we played for 3 hours before the police told us to stop 😁 16 Choke Start - Short lived rock-metal 3 piece, played a few gigs before guitarist left due to miserable drummer. Continued with miserable drummer to form: Choked - Punk funk band with female singer. Miserable drummer replaced with good'n'funky one, plus addition of 2nd bass. Still playing!

We've had plenty of their funky grooves on our garden centre playlist for a while now... Including this little fella:

4pm, Hereford, 27th August. An afternoon of female rock (though we've also got 4 big hairy blokes)

My mum's a piano teacher... So that's how I started - got as far as grade 7 and gave up at around 18. Then I taught myself bass (and guitar to a lesser extent) - piano basically gave me a good background in theory, though I found that the grade learning system completely stifled any sort of creativity. Still don't want to play anyone else's music unless I've seriously messed about with it, and very rarely read music either!

Kickin'!!!

I done one too... It's about a lonely bloke thinks he's been stood up on the Metro. Not only that but he hasn't got a clue where he needs to get to. So he contemplates just stepping off in front of the next train, but instead, checks his phone and discovers that a perfect French fella has just swiped right on him on Grindr. Previous date forgotten, next one eagerly anticipated! Basses, 2xWal through various Helix FX. Guitar, strat also through Helices. Vox all Gregorian Chantified with Raum and some pitch shifting, drums EZ Drummer, sequencer AAS. All mixed in Ableton, with some Bias FX for good measure and plenty Neutron and Ozone.

He's just showing off! 😁

"Yeah man, that's 'tthhhhhhpppppprrrrrapzzzzbwap.... Fffft!' At least it's not folky 😁😇

I suspect there's a strong correlation between those who like bass solos, and those who like jazz. Here's some, featuring probably my favourite (obvs not including Bootsy), he grooves, and he jazzes... Though not as widdlily as some.

He does a good and surprisingly melodic break here, in the company of some Serious Bass Players!

I would! And I think his playing is extremely musical - though there seems to be a school of thought that thinks only simple ditties or straight-ahead riffs are musical, everything else is showing off. Personally I celebrate talent and have no problem with complexity or even atonality (which Charlie doesn't really do, more's the pity!), though ultimately it's down to taste... And a certain level of hypocrisy; while I celebrate talent and complexity in jazz or funk, when prog becomes even slightly folky I run screaming! Frinstance, I loves a bit of Genital Giant, until they start getting all fa diddly diddly wee, then I hates 'em. Similarly, I can't be doing with any Genesis at all - praps because it's twee pop ("Lonely Fart") or English-centric and a touch folky. Now if they had a hint of The Funk it might be a different matter...

You could say the same about Paganini or Franz Liszt!

I've been enjoying this lot for a while now... Pretty much rock/metal by numbers, but sh'thot all the same!

Right on, brother!

Hope you feel a bit better soon Doug - then you can produce summat kickin' for our delectation and delight...

I say your best bet is to buy a 2nd hand bass made by a well-respected luthier... ACGs are great value, and most excellent basses!

Shame! We'll miss your dulcet tones 😁 You'll be pleased to hear I've got some singing in mine... Plus 2 basses and a guitar solo! And even more excitingly, it's only about 2 mins twenty. Currently removing some of the obvious loggyness, and preparing the plastic-free glitter and water-based varnish.

Not mine 😉

Indeed! The bloke wot whinged about us also complained to his neighbouring farmer about the noise of sheep... And he called out the fire brigade about a grass fire he'd seen - they chased around searching for it for 3 hours and found nowt, which was unsurprising as it was morning mist. I think it's basically about a) being reasonable b) a bit of live and let live and c) don't be an @rse.

2 coming up for CHOKED : 27th August - Hereford River Festival, The Koffee Pot, Hereford 11th September - Going Feral for Mental Health Festival, Gwatkin Cider Co, HR2 0AL