Bought an Alesis Nitro Mesh kit for my son a few years ago, he loves it, but like everyone's said, they're still not quiet, especially the kick/bass drum.
There's a USB plug on the back, as well as a mini jack socket to plug in an audio source (like a phone) to play along with songs. There was a link to an online drum teaching website Melodics which looked quite good, and had a fair few resources. It was free to sign up, and I think that it had a free membership period for Alesis kit owners, then reverts to a subscription. You'd have to investigate that, as my son didn't show any interest in it, he just wanted to play along to songs on his phone.
A good set of headphones is a good idea as well.