I totally understand where your coming from as I am going through the same thing at the moment and I've come close to throwing in the towel a couple of times but, through this website and talking to people, I came to realise thats its not just me. Now I regard the whole band scene as a bit of a joke and have adopted a "what can go wrong next " attitiude. I mean think about it, what other area of life do people act so strangely - not turning up for rehearsals with no explaination, playing a gig staring at chord charts and hope no one notices , bitching about another band mate is wearing. and all the time playing music that ( if we're absolutely honest ) 9 times out of 10 no one outside the band is that bothered about !! Bands are worth it just to see how stupid people can be. I'm just looking forward to the next bunch of lunatics I'm going to come across!
Dont know if this helps or not but I found that treating it with humour has helped me deal with all the other bullshit