Rich

To my teenage me: Don't be such a horrid little **** to your parents, they are fabulous people and are doing their best. Cherish them, respect them, above all be their friend. They aren't immortal. Learn to play the piano in the front room. Work harder at school and stop pi55ing about so much. When John Bosley starts pushing you around, put a stop to it immediately. Otherwise he will make 18 months of your life a misery, and when you reach your fifties you will still hate his guts and want to beat him to within an inch of his life. For god's sake talk Mark out of buying that motorbike. He will be killed on it, and it will devastate you. To young bassist me: Learn to read. Yes, slap is great fun and you'll get quite good at it, but it's not the be all and end all. Work on other things too. What you DON'T play is just as important as what you DO play. Learn. To. Read. You will get an opportunity to do session work in London. GRAB IT. Don't faff about indecisively. Buy the pre-EB Stingray you will see advertised for £250. Also, buy as many all-original vintage Fenders as you can, and keep them safe. They will be a great pension plan. Did I say 'learn to read'?

Living In A Box - errm, Living In A Box

IIRC, Mark King borrowed one of these to record 'Love Meeting Love', Level 42's first single.

Look, I've already asked you to stop for the sake of my credit card. Don't make me ban you.

Sloop John B - Beach Boys

Venus in Blue Jeans - Jimmy Clanton

I'll have to get back to you on that. Counting up to 4 has never been my strong point.

Nice Legs, Shame About The Face - The Monks

Thief in the Night - Young Thug 'Agane' surely?

Why choose Nicky Wire of all people?

Now that would make a very interesting A/B test.

One of @Jabba_the_gut's tiny-weeny-sized-but-sounding-absolutely-huge basses might work? They have to be heard to be believed and weigh about as much as a well-fed sparrow. Very, very best of luck with it all. Everything's crossed.

A Kind of Magic - Queen

Not a UK company, but an honourable mention to SKB in the States. I bought one of their 6U rack cases (used) way back in the day, and it didn't have many of the little captive nut things for fixing the rack gear in place. I had trouble finding a UK distributor so I emailed them in the US. Told them I'd bought this case secondhand, needed some more nuts, and was there a UK outlet they could point me at? The reply was something like "Oh yes, they can be a bit hard to find, give us your address and we'll pop some in the post FOC". A full pack of twelve turned up 2 or 3 days later all the way from Orange County California. Didn't cost me a bean.

Who Are You? - The Dr Who

He was with Alembic at the time.

Becky Baldwin. Rising star in metal, tours incessantly with Fury and Hands Off Gretel, and is currently depping with Mercyful Fate on their US tour. https://www.beckybaldwinbass.com/

Indecipherable lyrics? Might as well stop the thread now. Rasta Ozzy, from up de hill, decide fi check pon him grocery bill And when him add up de things him need, di dooney done weh him save fi buy lickle weed Him hand pon him jaw, Lord, red in eye and just mediate "This time is so hard Lord, I man a think 'bout emigrate I make up mi mind Lord, I might as well go gainst I man faith So I forward a market, I sight de butcher boy by de gate" (You want goat?) No I might a kill I queen (Try beef nuh?) I no check fi no grass weh green (What about fowl?) Watcha now, it's time fi a change (Mi have fish?) Got children out of that range (How about de steak?) Watcha now, you nuh sight de rate? (Try de tripe nuh?) Bun mi belly when I pull me pipe (Alright what about de pork?) Hush your mouth, mind mi brethren hear Sell I a pound of dat thing there Then de butcher pull up a stool, begin fi question Ozzy how him so fool What kind of something cook in a pot? From him born him never did hear about that Well watcha now, master, give I time make I try explain It's just like a flim show, fi protect de humble we change de name I would have feel so cute fi come in and ask for some annal fat I and I feel safer if we change de subject and call it 'dat' (You want goat?) No I might a kill I queen (Tek de beef then nuh) I no check fi no grass weh green (What bout fowl?) Watcha now, it's time fi a change (Tek de fish then) Got children out of that range (Me have good steak you know) Watcha now, you nuh sight de rate? (Tek de tripe then nuh) Bun mi belly when I pull me pipe (Force down de pork then) Hush your mouth, mind mi brethren hear Sell I a pound of dat thing there Ozzy pay off de butcher bill, take him parcel and trod up de hill Like a spy, who you think him meet? Rasta Jeremiah, from down de street "Guidance mi brethren! It's what you have inna dat deh bag?" Him kind of get frightened, and begin fi hide it beneath him rag "That man no fi high, Lord, mek mi go a mi yard, and take a sat Meanwhile light a fire and we help you eat of di pound of 'dat'" (Mi have oxtail you know?) No I might a kill I queen (You want cow trotters?) I no deal with no grass weh green (Hold di fowl then nuh?) Watcha now, it's time fi a change (Eat fish God) Got children out of that range (De steak good you know?) Watcha now, you nuh sight de rate? (Then hold di tripe nuh?) Bun mi belly when I pull me pipe (Well take de pork man) Hush your mouth, mind mi brethren hear Sell I a pound of dat thing there (Anuh ram goat you know?) No I might a kill I queen (Take di beef nuh man!) I no deal with no grass weh green (Cho!, Hold fowl) Watcha now, it's time fi a change (Then buy de fish nuh man!) Got children out of that range (*sucks teeth* Take de steak Jah) Watcha now, you nuh sight de rate? (Hold some a de tripe nuh?) Bun mi belly when I pull me pipe (Take de pork man!) Hush your mouth, mind mi brethren hear Sell I a pound of dat thing there

Apparently, 'zig a zig ah' is slang for the act of making the beast with two backs. Which means that the chorus of said song basically consisted of Mel B yelling "I WANT A SHAG".

I see your DD quote, and raise you: "The diving man's coming up for air 'cos the crowd all love pulling Dolly by the hair"

I use threadlock when I put them onto the strap, those nuts won't loosen without a lot of spanner effort Yeah, I don't think I have much room for complaint if they've lasted 36 years..!

An equipment failure at last night's gig (surprise 40th bday party for our recently departed alto sax man). If you look carefully you can see that this straplock has worn so thin over the years that the metal has finally failed completely and it pulled straight off the button. Thankfully not until i took it off at the end of the gig. I'm not complaining... this straplock is one half of the first pair I ever bought when I got my Wal back in mid 1986.

Arrgh. Stop it. *sticks finger in ears* I don't need a new amp I don't need a new amp I don't need a lovely new amp I don't need a lovely new Trace Elliot amp Arrrrrrgh