Similar here, with the ska band anyway. I listen to it, play along with it, then write my part out for rehearsal & practice. Sometimes if there's a tricky part that I can't quite make out, I'll check out a few tabs. And yes, most of them turn out to be wrong in one way or another. Some are total works of fiction.
With the soul band, our MD does all the arrangements so we all get sheet music for our parts. He knows I'm not a reader, so bless 'im he puts all the note names along the stop, like this. I can follow a chart quite well now even if I can't tell what the actual notes are.
Name that tune