Just my tuppence worth...
Don't forget to do an impressive slap solo at some point.. before, during & after the song. Bands love that.
Talk about the gear you've brought ..in detail. Not forgetting to mention all the gear you've owned over the years. Bands love that.
Name drop (even if it's the most tenuous of links). Bands love that.
Ask the guitarist(s) why they're not playing a strat/paul/sg (delete as appropriate). Guitarists love that.
Helpfully mention the singer's a bit "pitchy". They love that.
Tell the band leader (on the quiet obviously, you're not insensitive) that you've got a drummer mate who you've played with for years, and he/she is easier to "lock in with". You're smashing it at this point, they'll love you.
You're welcome.
Sent from my bedroom. Don't forget to come & see slappys' one man band....
🤠