I love all of this feedback guys. Each and every one of you pointed out some great things.
The guitarist still has his teeth because he's 23 and I was probably his first act as a "tosser". I had to look the term up. I'm 38, jammed a lot with cats, gigged with a alternative band for 8 years and a couple of projects just for fun. My image most likely wasn't the problem. I'm a stylish dresser but I don't take it overboard, t-shirt and jeans mainly, especially during the week.
Mostly I think it is the tension between me and the LG and the fact that I wouldn't give them 100% cookie cutter and I was respectfully assertive about it. Bringing up Adam Clayton is interesting because I love U2. If they would have written "With or Without You" and said write something. I would have had no choice but to play D, A, B, G. My point, I play what I hear, and gave them plenty of opportunities to reject my style and approach. I always approach a style by finding g the closest known musician to easily describe my plan. In this case it was Robert DeLeo (STP) and Nate Mendel (Foo Fighters, Sunny Day Real Estate), mixed with some James Jamerson.
All that aside I thought I was an equal part, and some changes we're made based on some of my insight leading me to believe I had a voice, I was able to be creative, as well as giving them what they wanted.
Communication is a lost art. I don't read minds and if I try to speculate on body language I might as well not get out of bed in the morning.