Jackroadkill

Hmmm, Let's see: A van (my old one gave up the ghost a few months back) A 450 - 500w 2x10 cab A 34" Telecaster bass Of those the van would be the most useful, followed by the cab. I don't need another bass but I do fancy T-style instruments.

Maybe I do, maybe I don't; while we're talking in maybes, maybe if you have such a low opinion of female musicians, maybe you're unlikely to find one who will be willing to be in your band.

It's certainly a possibility!

Had a blast playing only the second gig in the band's history last night; it was my work's summer party, which meant that I was as nervous as I've ever been before a gig because if there's one environment you really don't want to suck in it's this. Fortunately we played pretty well (although somehow I got lost in the guitar solo of Whiskey In The Jar - I know, right?) and went down a storm - they were dancing on the tables by the first chorus of the second song! If it looks like we're playing in a cowshed it's because we were playing in a cowshed. Weirdly the sound was pretty good, so I'll take that as a win. They want us back for the same gig next summer. Onwards and upwards! Cheers, JRK

That's lovely to hear, Smanth. So glad for you.

What decade are you in? What century?

Uh....

Word of the week!

Let me have a go on your Shergold (oooer Missus!) and I'll show you me garters, luv!

I wouldn't be seen dead like that. What a pervert.... Eight strings? Gerroff!

Brooklyn. Bensonhoist Lesbian Choir.

I lost interest at "jazz", I'm afraid.

Aye, that 'e do, but beggorah she'm a biggun!

No matter how hard I tried I couldn't out-macho this beast.

OP, you're asking the wrong question; really you should be finding out which is the best 4-string for metal.

I've played (and shot) in the White Horse plenty of times, and I know that scenario... What is it with young farmers and Summer of '69, for Christ's suffering sake?! Who wants to hear the music their parents were conceived to during a knee trembler at the barn dance in Chapel Lawn, after all?

Years ago I worked in a music shop and really wanted a Fernandes Ravelle baritone, of which there were none in the country. The rep for the distributors (a grand chap who couldn't do enough to help, by the way) said that he'd see what he could do and a few days later rang me to tell me that he'd found one in a shop that he dealt with and they'd send it to me. Great, I thought, and sent him the money for it. Two days later a courier arrives holding an unpadded gig bag which contained most of a Revelle baritone, minus things like the nice padded gig bag it was supposed to have, the pickups it had been born with (these had been replaced with no-name cheapies and the pre-amp bypassed), one string and a few chunks of paint. To make up for these shortfalls there was a thick layer of dust, a covering of fingerprints and the smell of KFC. I've seen things recovered from shipwrecks that looked in better nick. It went back, to the mortification of both the rep and myself, and I've still never owned one.

Horrible; god-awful seventies trash. Kate, on the other hand, is lovely.

It's been privatised and is now more of a vermicelli diversion, at least until you turn off for the A38, where it becomes a fusilli sets of roadworks and a rail-replacement G&L bus service to Gloucester Road in Briz.

Yeah, right!

I've never played the song either; long may that state of affairs continue. Bloated, self-important and uninspiring, in my view.

I'm currently trying to figure out a polite way to tell the rest of the band that I'd rather sandpaper my nipples than play Wayward Son.

An audience member once asked if I wanted to go horizontal jogging with his missus whilst he watched; does that count?

I knew someone would mention that one! No, it was usually for stuff like Yellow Submarine, oddly.

I used to roadie for a Stones tribute band, and the amount of times we were asked for Beatles songs was ridiculous.