We've all had the same thoughts and come to similar conclusions which I find highly amusing.
One other thing to add, the Aldcrofts paint (which I think is Tuff Cab) only has an unopened shelf life of six months. I worked out that doing two 8" cabs with three coats uses approx 1Kg, and the chances of me using it again is low, so its very expensive to paint two cabs. If I lived closer to people I'd happily pass tins along but unlikely to happen.
I like the look of the Hammered Hammerite but thats not cheap either at circa £10 / 250ml.
There is this site that tests how it works on different woods and it comes through with flying colours. They don't mention the primer they use though.
https://patientgardener.co.uk/can-you-paint-hammerite-on-wood/
I have seen a suggestion of using an oil based primer for undercoat https://www.vintage-radio.net/forum/showthread.php?t=93459
I think I'll head to Settle later and see what they have in my local DIY store. Hammered red might be interesting and if nothing more, I'll use the can on something.
Rob