EBS_freak

Or that time I did a New Years eve gig at a major casino backing a singer/guitarist. Said singer/guitarist agreed with the proposed setlist. Got to the venue. "But I don't sing those songs". So we figured out what we could play. "What key?" "Yeah, standard keys". Short version. Playing with a capo is not standard key... and the keys that he played without a capo certainly weren't standard. So yeah, transposing on the fly for the whole night in the most b'tards of keys made for a miserable time. Of course, the other guitarist and me just had to keep smiling and playing along. The debrief and cursing for that gig lasted for days.

There was that time that I played in the band with a proper racist. He's dead to me and I have nothing to do with the scum now. Anyway, it was pretty interesting time when the IEM feed was coming out of the venue's wireless mic system who happened to be on the same frequency as the talkback mic (which was strapped to the aforementioned persons head).

Im sure there's a good few I can recall - the time that I played trombone in a Big Band, bent down to pick up my wah mute and snagged the back of my trousers on the bass drum. Clean ripped off the front button of my trousers. Its really hard playing trombone with your trousers trying to fall down. Another - Playing a wedding gig at a large stately-esque home in North Yorkshire. The layout of the venue was terrible. The hall way was where the bar was and the band was located in a room off from this hall way. Of course, the net result is that there is nobody on the dance floor. However, at one point, we were playing "I've had the time of my life" and the bride and best man (I know, right...) came in and re-enacted the lift. Over the bride went and like a plumb line, her skull decided to meet with the dance floor. The bride wasn't moving. We didn't know quite the etiquette should be when the bride could be dead on the dance floor. I signalled a rall and we fashioned an ending on the fly. Singer went into the hall to raise attention and there was a doctor at the scene. Doctor came in and called an ambulance. Ambulance arrived and the bride and groom were taken off. All the guests vanished within twenty minutes and we were left feeling pretty awkward. Without speaking to anybody, we packed up and set off on the long drive home. Now here's the thing. We hadn't been paid the (sizeable) balance that was due on the night. Skip forward a month later and we were still trying to figure the etiquette of trying to get paid when we didn't know whether the bride was dead or not. Fortunately, I didn't draw the short straw - and the drummer had to make the phone call. Turns out, she was fine - she was knocked out and heavily concussed but ok. She was mightily embarrassed that she had forgotten all about the band. So yeah. Awkward. And never play a note without having been paid up front! I've got a whole book worth full.

There have been a fair few but the show always go on. This is one memorable example...

My mate went in there. "Stingrays? Rubbish. You don't want one of those." Literally two months later, a load of new Musicman Stingrays appear on the site.

Isn't it part of the standard BD sales patter for you to have all the gear that you own slated?

I love it. But 100% behind you on the Multipla.

Hofner would have probably died altogether without the Macca link.

Jeez. So bad my right ear refused to acknowledge it.

Rihanna has reputed worth of 1.7 billion USD. I reckon even is she had a golden piano, the ratio would still be in her favour.

Andrew Lloyd webber? But then again, I would wager he has a fair few nice pianos. Macca has a fair few high ticket items that would be even without the Beatle/Macca link - his 60 leftie les paul and elvis acoustic bass for starters. Again, there's his Wal to throw into the mix... But if I was gonna guess... I would say Rihanna.

Defo a Nightingale. Typically they would have the name logo on the body - but given the wood, I can see why it was left off. 5 String Nightingale is quite a rarity - it would have been first official Bernie 5er Rumour design as the Goodfellow brand was sold to Lowden before he had the chance to design and tool up for a 5er.

I was being sarcastic.

D) channel all your money into offshore tax havens whilst you’re at it.

Allow for screen placement but yeah, a box is a box. Make sure sure you account for unlatched/latched switches.

Even with the most specialised accountant, I think you’ll still have trouble making any payments to the Inland Revenue

Bingo! At least get the name right and all that.

What was your argument saying that HMRC isn’t fit for purpose?

Nobody has done that since 2005.

OK - that's good.

Some of you guys clearly haven't had a non paying gig after performing. Another difference - function band - invoice raised before hand and paid before the band plays a note = creating proper audit trail of contract and payment. Pub band - all sorts of jokery to be expected.

In fact, just do something like this https://line6.com/support/topic/22680-one-g10-transmitter-with-two-base-receivers-at-the-same-time/

How about a slim cable terminated with a locking 3.5mm Sennheiser locking jack socket arrangement if the weight of a cable up to the backbeat is a problem.

What a sack. Over engineered, with a custom cable, that is prone to failure. And before anybody says, cables do - and will - fail. Especially if they aren't in a fixed installation. Looking at the connection, that could render it useless on a tour. You can't just knock up another cable from the spares box.