I totally agree.
critical and well-informed friend : "you're all too loud, you can't hear the vocals. All turn down. The PA hasn't got enough power to go louder to get above the clatter that you lot are making without sacrificing the sound of the vocals further or us being greeted with wailing feedback. You drummer. Yes, you the one with the two chopsticks in your hands. You need to lay off the drums. Next time consider leaving half your cymbals at home... and no, you don't need a second bass drum... or a double kick drum pedal before you get any ideas. Guitarist - you need to turn well down. Yes, yes, yes, I know all about the 'you can't get your tone without being a certain volume' but people are here to primarily listen to the vocals, so keep your ego in check... and you're deluded if you think you are the next guitar hero. The vocals? Yes - that's the person behind that ridiculous Elvis mic with the fairy lights going down the stand. Anyway... back to you mr guitar - don't pretend I didn't see you rolling back your volume pedal. The underage kid at the bar trying to sneak his first drink is better than you already. And don't even think about reaching around for the volume, or playing softer in soundcheck, that stinky poo doesn't wash with me. Bass? Nobody cares about the bass anyway. Do what you want."