Funny night tonight.

[garethfriend]

So has this type of thing happened to anyone?

I have just got in from what had the potential to be the gig from hell and turned into the best gig I've ever played. Some background - last week our drummer said that he wasn't happy and wanted to leave, we had a talk with him and he agreed to play a paid gig we had lined up before he went. All was well, he gave some reasons for leaving that were fairly sensible and he had our blessing, he was fairly apologetic about the whole thing and said he didn't want to upset anyone and - I quote - "valued us all as friends". So he's agreed to do this gig so as not to get us blacklisted at the venue and do us a favour, fair enough.

Night of the gig he turns up an hour late and doesn't speak to anyone wearing a t-shirt that says "band needs a drummer". We get through the first half of the set and you can see he's not interested. We go for the halftime break and he again doesn't talk to anyone. As we get back on the stage he announces he is'nt playing one of the songs in our set. Our guitarist is all "woah, what's up dude?" and without saying anything he just starts packing up his kit and leaves mid gig.

It's all a bit embarressing for us really, frontman gets on the mike and apologises for the drummers departure, we then go and speak to the venue owner who is supportive and asks us if we will just get up and do a shortened accoustic set. The place is packed and the audience is being really supportive, couple of people come over and offer thier sympathys and voice thier opinions on our drummers behaviour. We do an accoustic set to finish the show, just completely improvised, I was getting a bit of a percussive thing going on with the bass and the other two guys did a cracking job with the acoustic guitars, everyone got involved and really got into it, we had singing along and dancing, the lot. I have never played to a crowd so happy to be seeing a band play thier stuff, and have never had so many people come up after a gig and congratulate us.

So I guess the jokes on him really, all things considered night went pretty well and was easily the most fun I've had on stage.

of course the need to recruit a new drummer now is the only fly in the ointment but we got the number of one guy who volanteered his services after the gig.

Sure I'm not the only one who has unexpectedly had a great time when something that would otherwise be terrible has occured on stage.

[risingson]

[quote name='garethfriend' post='939733' date='Aug 30 2010, 01:43 AM']So I guess the jokes on him really, all things considered night went pretty well and was easily the most fun I've had on stage.[/quote]

Sounds like the joke is indeed quite literally on him, having left a band of clearly enthusiastic musicians who are willing to put aside the twattishness of a band member and get on with the gig regardless. Sounds like a great turnaround, good on you!

I must say there's been a few gigs I've not looked forward to, this Friday night for instance we played a bar in a fairly choice area, known for being a bit rough. We weren't going on till 12 either which got to me a bit, but as it turned out the crowd were awesome and absolutely loved us, and I ended up having a cracking night.

There's always light at the end of the tunnel eh.

[gary mac]

Strange breed drummers.
Wonder what was up with him, especially given what he said about valued friends.

Sounds like you did good a good job without him though.

[Dr.Dave]

A shame when someone accepts the challenge to act like a professional then behaves like an amateur. A feather in caps though to those who take a 'show must go on' attitude and do the job they were employed to do. Grace under pressure - good on you all.

[bassbloke]

Although not as extreme, I've been in the same situation a couple of times. Although people set out, I would hope, with the best of intentions, human nature kicks in and the realisation that they're not going to be centre of attention during their farewell gig and that life will go on without them makes them spiteful and unpredictable.

[Deep Thought]

I picked us up a short notice gig a while ago in a pub in a small town near me. Drummer was very unenthusiastic as his ex lives there, and its a pub which doesn't have a lot of amplified bands. Didn't look good as we arrived to a pub empty except for a few regulars, got worse when we started loading in and heard comments like 'what do you need that many speakers for?', the landlady was quite nervous about the volume, and we were crammed into a small corner by the bar. Turned out to be a cracking gig, we found that keeping the volume down worked really well, place filled up and the reaction was outstanding-does one a great deal of good when you play something you've written and you hear 'that was f***ing brilliant!' from the audience. Plus we got booked again-they even rang [i]us[/i] to book us for another one.

[JTUK]

I have to say the drummer was indeed a cock. He had a problem, would not talk about it, agreed to do the date and then behaves like an idiot and leaves mid-set.

Fat chance of staying friends when treated like that. And I am none the wiser what is was all over in the first place...!!!!
Sounds like the mother of all sulks to me..

You are definitely better off without someone like that, IMO.

[TimR]

[quote name='Dr.Dave' post='939774' date='Aug 30 2010, 08:29 AM']A shame when someone accepts the challenge to act like a professional then behaves like an amateur. A feather in caps though to those who take a 'show must go on' attitude and do the job they were employed to do. Grace under pressure - good on you all.[/quote]

Agreed. I think you are doing amateurs a bit of a dis-service though

How old is this guy? - Don't answer that! I've known professionals in their 60s behave like that.

Usually something is going on in their lives somewhere else and their behaviour is manifesting itself in a bad way on their friends. I probably come across as a bit of a bleeding heart liberal but if he is the good 'valued' freind he thinks he is you should at least go for a beer and talk man-o-man about it. I left a band after another pointless argument because I had other things going on and the drummer was a selfish arrogant dick who had no empathy with anyone else's situation but I would never behave like that.

[Toddy]

[quote name='Dr.Dave' post='939774' date='Aug 30 2010, 07:29 AM']A shame when someone accepts the challenge to act like a professional then behaves like an amateur. A feather in caps though to those who take a 'show must go on' attitude and do the job they were employed to do. Grace under pressure - good on you all.[/quote]

Dr,,,, that needs to go in the basschat book of wise quotations..

[essexbasscat]

[quote name='Dr.Dave' post='939774' date='Aug 30 2010, 08:29 AM']A shame when someone accepts the challenge to act like a professional then behaves like an amateur. A feather in caps though to those who take a 'show must go on' attitude and do the job they were employed to do. Grace under pressure - good on you all.[/quote]


Couldn't agree more to all of this !!

T

[garethfriend]

Cheers for the words of support, none of us are any wiser as to why he did it all though I have a far out theory involving two of the WAGs which will never be proven. For those who were wondering he is'nt (at least in terms of years) a stroppy teenager he's like mid to late 30's and we all have a fair few gigs under our belt and would know better, wouldn't have thought it though, he's kicking off on facebook now. I'm off to play with mountain bikes now rather than rise to it, got nothing to say to him.

If anyone knows a drummer looking for a band in the Mansfield/Notts/Derby area PM me. Established band with own rehearsal space, about a 50/50 split covers and originals mainly rock/indie stuff like Foos and Killers.

[garethfriend]

Text from my mate:

"HA HA how do you storm out as a drummer? all that kit to pack up"

My reply:

"yeah was an awkward 45 minutes"

oh how we laughed.

[essexbasscat]

Been thinking about this one since my last posting. The drummer's behaviour does seem rather extreme.

Gareth, do you have any ideas about;

- HIS view of what the problems were ?

- Was he provoked in any way (however minor the provokations may have been in your eyes) on the last night (i.e. a bit of biting at his edges by other band members for leaving? carry -overs from past differences of opinion ?)

I only ask this as from what is written on this thread, his behaviour just doesn't add up when you reflect on it

Good luck finding a suitable replacement

T

Edited August 30, 2010 by essexbasscat

[TimR]

[quote name='garethfriend' post='939816' date='Aug 30 2010, 10:20 AM']....
I have a far out theory involving two of the WAGs which will never be proven. For those who were wondering he is'nt (at least in terms of years) a stroppy teenager he's like mid to late 30's
...[/quote]

Women and aproaching 40. No more needs to be said.

Its not called the mid life crisis for nothing

Edited August 30, 2010 by TimR

[the_skezz]

Probably our ill-fated gig at the Varsity with four other bands...initially we were a tad discouraged that there were maybe three people there that weren't in the other bands. However, we gave it our all, had a lot of fun, and were apparently good enough that half the other bands were talking to us about potential future gigs...we seemed to have a much better time of it than the band after us, who (IMO) acted like miserable sods in the dressing room, not talking to anyone and who seemed to take umbridge at the fact that there was only one bloke actually moving to their set, the same as for us...of course, the other bands wanted to conserve energy for our own songs, and we didn't fancy showing much enthusiasm due to the fact that most of the blokes had shown none in return towards us or our set.

Like I said, good night, we had fun, the other bands were great and we had a lot of fun drinking and jumping around to good ol-fashioned punk.

Edited August 30, 2010 by the_skezz

[Doddy]

You mention that he didn't speak to anyone wearing a 'band needs a drummer' t shirt- how many of you wore one of them?
Yes,he acted like a knob but it's not cool to wear a shirt like that at the gig if you actually do need one.You might have found it amusing,but he probably thought that you were sticking it to him.It's not an excuse for walking out,but it's a decent
reason to get pissed off

[TimR]

[quote name='Doddy' post='939938' date='Aug 30 2010, 01:06 PM']You mention that he didn't speak to anyone wearing a 'band needs a drummer' t shirt- how many of you wore one of them?
Yes,he acted like a knob but it's not cool to wear a shirt like that at the gig if you actually do need one.You might have found it amusing,but he probably thought that you were sticking it to him.It's not an excuse for walking out,but it's a decent
reason to get pissed off[/quote]

I thought it was the drummer that was wearing the t-shirt. Making some sort of statement.

[skej21]

[quote name='TimR' post='940035' date='Aug 30 2010, 03:34 PM']I thought it was the drummer that was wearing the t-shirt. Making some sort of statement.[/quote]

It was the drummer who was wearing it. "Night of the gig he turns up an hour late and doesn't speak to anyone wearing a t-shirt that says "band needs a drummer."

[Cat Burrito]

At a gig back in Bristol in 1994 we had a support band pull out on us. We were quite new and didn't have enough material to do an extra set so we cobbled together an acoustic set and supported ourselves. The respect we had from the crowd was excellent (I think the acoustic set blew away the electric set!) and one audience member confirmed himself as a fan for life - my next band played his wedding and the one after that he helped finance a CD. Happy days.

Good luck with the drummer!

[garethfriend]

[quote name='essexbasscat' post='939873' date='Aug 30 2010, 11:53 AM']Been thinking about this one since my last posting. The drummer's behaviour does seem rather extreme.

Gareth, do you have any ideas about;

- HIS view of what the problems were ?

- Was he provoked in any way (however minor the provokations may have been in your eyes) on the last night (i.e. a bit of biting at his edges by other band members for leaving? carry -overs from past differences of opinion ?)

I only ask this as from what is written on this thread, his behaviour just doesn't add up when you reflect on it

Good luck finding a suitable replacement

T[/quote]

Funny, we have all been pondering this point since it happened. Basically what he originally told us was that he didn't want to do originals anymore and just wanted to do covers and form a functions band. He also had a few reservations about whether our singer would stick around after his baby was born. But he made a point of saying that he didn't want to fall out with anyone and that it isn't personal. I for one think those reasons are fair enough from his point of view which is why I say he had our blessing if he wanted to leave.

As far as past differences of opinion go none were really voiced at all, you would think if he was harbouring some negativity to anyone based on his reasoning it would be the singer but on the night of the gig he seemed to want to pick a fight with the guitarist most of all and was arsey with all of us, makes no sense at all.

In terms of something we could have done I have no idea, I mean we all tried to be friendly and positive when he showed up and didn't even mention the t shirt he was wearing and the fact he was an hour late, thinking back I reckon he was trying to get one of us to kick off with him before the gig so he could have an excuse to walk.

I know he's got a whole bunch of other stuff going on at home and I suspect he's taking it out on us but he would never talk about it which is his choice I guess. Bit of a mystery to all of us and your right it doesn't add up, if he had kicked off with the singer about the things he had mentioned before then that would have made sense. He's got right confrontational on facebook today and his Mrs has also been chiming in all over the place telling three different people three different stories about why she was crying at the gig.

Going to have a meeting with the others tomorrow and figure out what we do next, might give this drummer from last night a call, might wait till everyones cooled down before trying to find a replacement, don't want to make a rash decision at an emotional moment.

[Heathy]

Sounds like he's a bit of a drama queen. Are you sure that he's not our singer in disguise?

[BTS_Spacebass]

This puts me in mind of my first proper band, after about 8 months we just finished working on a great new song and the singer had been away for a while and hadn't heard it, so after playing it to him three or four times he decided he didn't like and didn't want to sing it. So we had a chat and decided tough titties and we would play it as an instrumental as it was by far the most acomplished thing we've done. The only time we ever got to play it live he walked of the stage, we got about a minute through it, and some random jumped up on stage and starting doing some jungle style rap/mc sh*t over it. Was absolutly fantastic and made all the sweeter by most people telling us he was better than out singer.

GOLD

[JamieBenzies]

It's Sod's law. The gigs that you look forward to are always so so or terrible. Then you get a boring looking charity gig or the like and by the end your fan-base has doubled and you have several more bookings. To be honest, it's something that adds to the excitement of all this music business though .

And to the OP, it sounds to me like your band might be more popular in that acoustic setting. But, then popularity isn't everything... at all.

[Telebass]

[quote name='Dr.Dave' post='939774' date='Aug 30 2010, 08:29 AM']A shame when someone accepts the challenge to act like a professional then behaves like an amateur. A feather in caps though to those who take a 'show must go on' attitude and do the job they were employed to do. Grace under pressure - good on you all.[/quote]

I too have take some exception to this common misuse of the word 'amateur'. In a great many fields of life, they are the true masters of their art because, as the word says, they do it for the love of it. The truest amateurs are in fact, nearly always, the most professional of all.

Would have been better to use something like, erm, I dunno..."d*ckhead", maybe?