To quit or not to quit?

[starman]

I've been playing bass with a band for about four months, we've been playing along to original tracks so far as at the moment we have no singer. I was given the task of looking for one and forwarded various mp3 tracks and details from about six interested singers onto my bandmates, who weren't interested in any of them without even giving them an audition (their comments were too cheesy/too heavy/not really us etc etc). Last week I found two singers that were going to audition, one changed her mind as she didn't like the material we were doing, but one had an excellent voice and would have been perfect. She asked if she could audition three of our songs and three of the songs she likes. I checked with the band members if that would be ok (as it was ok with me), of which only one replied saying she would probably want to do Celine Dion type stuff and to tell her no. I had already asked her what songs she would like to do and they were by Pearl Jam and Bon Jovi). When I forwarded this on to the band, they sent a really rude email back saying "If we have to play that stuff its over, tell her to poke it". So we are back to no singer again. The material we were playing was great at first (Motown, Bowie, Squeeze, Ace, Wild Cherry) but it's now getting too diverse (Dusty Springfield, Pulp and Ian Dury, Byrds, Buzzcocks, a song called Pirate Aggro by the Housemartins). I feel we need less diversity and to stick to more of a genre than be all over the place if we want to eventually gig. I've spoken to the band about this and they agreed, though nothings changed. Do you think I'm wrong?
I'm 45 and bands are fairly hard to find around this area. Would you put up with it, keep quiet and play something you don't enjoy or quit and have no band?

If you've read this far, thanks!

[Dubs]

What's the point if you're not enjoying it?

[skej21]

[quote name='starman' post='941329' date='Aug 31 2010, 08:13 PM']I've been playing bass with a band for about four months, we've been playing along to original tracks so far as at the moment we have no singer. I was given the task of looking for one and forwarded various mp3 tracks and details from about six interested singers onto my bandmates, who weren't interested in any of them without even giving them an audition (their comments were too cheesy/too heavy/not really us etc etc). Last week I found two singers that were going to audition, one changed her mind as she didn't like the material we were doing, but one had an excellent voice and would have been perfect. She asked if she could audition three of our songs and three of the songs she likes. I checked with the band members if that would be ok (as it was ok with me), of which only one replied saying she would probably want to do Celine Dion type stuff and to tell her no. I had already asked her what songs she would like to do and they were by Pearl Jam and Bon Jovi). When I forwarded this on to the band, they sent a really rude email back saying "If we have to play that stuff its over, tell her to poke it". So we are back to no singer again. The material we were playing was great at first (Motown, Bowie, Squeeze, Ace, Wild Cherry) but it's now getting too diverse (Dusty Springfield, Pulp and Ian Dury, Byrds, Buzzcocks, a song called Pirate Aggro by the Housemartins). I feel we need less diversity and to stick to more of a genre than be all over the place if we want to eventually gig. I've spoken to the band about this and they agreed, though nothings changed. Do you think I'm wrong?
I'm 45 and bands are fairly hard to find around this area. Would you put up with it, keep quiet and play something you don't enjoy or quit and have no band?

If you've read this far, thanks![/quote]

It really comes down to you really and what you class as a reasonable balance.

Are the gigs/band paying you enough money to make it worthwhile sticking it out and having no input?
Do you enjoy it enough and feel valued enough to do it for free/expenses/small amounts of money/THE GLORY?

If not, then there's not much point in playing for a bunch of people who don't value your opinion AND won't pay you the money you deserve for the job you're doing.

[Gazunt]

You have to do this for the love of it. An if it aint fun then its dead in the water just my opinion I did the same I just put up with all the crap of missing practices for one reason or another. in the end we feel apart it just has to be fun

[BTS_Spacebass]

dude, music should only really be about expression and fun. If you want to make money from it then do whatever pays but apart from that, and this is from personal experience, sticking around in a band that you dislike WILL make you hate playing music, or it did to me at least.

[pietruszka]

Id quit. If you dont enjoy it any more and it doesnt pay, leave.

If band members are that picky its not worth the stress or the hassle. And you WILL find something else! Bassplayers always do! We're in demand so we're never short of work.

Hope you do get what you're after, musically that is.


Dan

[the_skezz]

As people have said, you need to enjoy it. It sounds like you've been putting 110% into this band, effort that could be going into something you feel is more worthwhile...and where the bandmates aren't so bloody awkward. If they've left it up to you to find a singer, they have no right to be so picky about what they want. If you can't enjoy it, walk. Their loss.

[phil.i.stein]

[quote name='starman' post='941329' date='Aug 31 2010, 08:13 PM']I was given the task of looking for one ...[/quote]
why ? pass the task back. tell'em you've had enough attitude. ultimatum time..let them sort it.

[chris_b]

When you change the singer the band changes, it can’t be helped. If you find someone then the rest of the band should have the decency to try them out.

It sounds to me like you need to find the best singer of the lot and build a new band around the two of you and leave the other losers behind.

[zero9]

Sounds like you're being very (if not too) reasonable. They're taking the p*ss.

[Wolverinebass]

I'd never stay in a band that I had no input in. You're one step away from a "can you play the root note" conversation. As far as I'm concerned, I'll never play in a band with folk I don't like unless I earned more money at it than U2. Which will never happen.

Just quit and get something better as they sound like world class tools.

[bobbytodd]

walk away or talk to one of the singers about starting summet new.if its not fun why bother

[Hoppo75]

[quote name='chris_b' post='941489' date='Aug 31 2010, 10:19 PM']When you change the singer the band changes, it can’t be helped. If you find someone then the rest of the band should have the decency to try them out.

It sounds to me like you need to find the best singer of the lot and build a new band around the two of you and leave the other losers behind.[/quote]

+1 mate....time to bale!!!

[JTUK]

Doesn't sound like you are getting anywhere.

Keep hold of the people that are going to eventually do something.

I'd tell them their attitude and intransigence seems baffling and going nowhere so I'd see if the singer was more open to working things along to a place that achieves something.

I'd offer a place to one or two who are working to work TOGETHER and find others who want the same.
If they are all happy doing nothing, leave them to it...

It doesn't sound as though some of those guys will ever get out of their bedroom and the world is full of them.
Do something positive with positive people.

I can't believe there are no people in and around your town that wouldn't put some effort into something good and enjoyable.
If the people in the band aren't reasonable or helpful then they aren't going to get any further than just talking about it all.

Look at what you have and where you can get to.....and where you want to get to. Doesn't add up to me.

[Bassassin]

They sound like a bunch of prima donna f@ckwits. Walk.

Jon.

[Golchen]

Your band sound like a bunch of douches. I'd go with the singer and form a new band.

[Lozz196]

Hmm, sounds like for peace of mind, deciding to leave (I hate the word quit) may be the best for you.
I was in a similar situation, and its only since joining my current band, have I found my love for the bass again. I only ever used to play at gigs/rehearsals, now I play all the time at home. If I were in yr situation, I`d start looking for something more suitable now. I stayed with my old band for abt 6 months once in the new one, just to make sure it wasn`t a case of the grass being greener, but luckily it worked out well. Hope the same for you.

[KevB]

If you think the new singer really has potential you could investigate starting a band with her and hire new guys around that project then you get to play the stuff you want. You say there aren't many band opportunities in your area but this might mean there are actually a lot of potential musicians waiting to be auditioned!

[Bigwan]

Sounds like there's a lot of feet being dragged. Dump them and move on. Bands aren't always as hard to find as you think.

Edited September 1, 2010 by Bigwan

[bassbloke]

[quote name='starman' post='941329' date='Aug 31 2010, 08:13 PM']I've been playing bass with a band for about four months, we've been playing along to original tracks so far as at the moment we have no singer. I was given the task of looking for one and forwarded various mp3 tracks and details from about six interested singers onto my bandmates, who weren't interested in any of them without even giving them an audition (their comments were too cheesy/too heavy/not really us etc etc). Last week I found two singers that were going to audition, one changed her mind as she didn't like the material we were doing, but one had an excellent voice and would have been perfect. She asked if she could audition three of our songs and three of the songs she likes. I checked with the band members if that would be ok (as it was ok with me), of which only one replied saying she would probably want to do Celine Dion type stuff and to tell her no. I had already asked her what songs she would like to do and they were by Pearl Jam and Bon Jovi). When I forwarded this on to the band, they sent a really rude email back saying "If we have to play that stuff its over, tell her to poke it". So we are back to no singer again. The material we were playing was great at first (Motown, Bowie, Squeeze, Ace, Wild Cherry) but it's now getting too diverse (Dusty Springfield, Pulp and Ian Dury, Byrds, Buzzcocks, a song called Pirate Aggro by the Housemartins). I feel we need less diversity and to stick to more of a genre than be all over the place if we want to eventually gig. I've spoken to the band about this and they agreed, though nothings changed. Do you think I'm wrong?
I'm 45 and bands are fairly hard to find around this area. Would you put up with it, keep quiet and play something you don't enjoy or quit and have no band?

If you've read this far, thanks![/quote]

Based on how your bandmates have handled the process of auditioning a new singer, they sound like a bunch of losers and arseholes and, from experience, I've found that a lot of people believe in guilt by association... ...So if it were me, I'd leave.

[xgsjx]

As I read thru your post my thoughts was and are the same as many of the answers. Start your own band with your preferred singer.

Guitarists are 10 a penny & the minimum you're gonna get is a trio (could do rock acoustic style but with electrics & no drums).

[toneknob]

Sounds like your current bandmates are stopping the band progressing by their obstinate nature. You're doing all the work, so tell them it's their turn to look for a singer. Let them find someone suitable, and say you'll be ready when they are.

In the meantime, start up something new with the singer you've mentioned, who sounds positive, talented and flexible. If the other two band members answer your ads, make sure you include "The Pina Colada Song" as an audition piece.

[clauster]

+1 to the "put it back on your bandmates" or start a new band.

You've said there isn;t a lot of opportunity to join exisiting bands around Leatherhead. I used to live not too far away from you and when my band at the time went FUBAR I got on Bandmix.com. Within a month I had enquiries from bands in Dorking, Crawley, Guildford and Horsham.

Not trying to say you are wrong (and yes, this was about four years ago, and yes things do change) but do yourself a bandmix and/or musofinder profile, put a postcard in Andertons (and/or other localish music shops) and you will get invites to try out for other bands. I reopened my bandmix acount a few weeks ago because we needed to find a new drummer, I didn't even say I was looking for a band, had no photo and no music clips and I've had invites to try out for 3 bands (one of which I'm tempted by).

Whatever you do - best of luck!

[Bilbo]

Can't you have an adult conversation with your bandmates? They could audition the singer and have an adult conversation at the audition about direction/image/influences and, if there is mutual ground, make progress. It sounds as if some people here are throwing rocks in the way before they have all of the information (it may actually be that the best singer on the market could come to an audition, be offered the job and turn it down. The minute one musician meets another and plays, compromise is necessary. If there are three or four or more, the compromise is greater. These guys are shooting themselves in the foot by not spending time with these singers and need to be told that. If they still can't see the value is hearing them and meeting them, then you may need to think about other options. It all a big experiement but what is there to lose other than a few hours auditioning duff singers? Little to lose and much to gain.

[bassbloke]

Just noticed that you're in Leatherhead. You could put up a musician available ad in Tweeters, The Peel (Kingston), Backline and Andertons in Guildford. You could pop down to the Blues and rock jam at the Elm Tree in Surbiton or to the jam at the Grey Horse Kingston.

There's loads of music really close to you.