My band mates are absolute DICKS!

[StevieD_FenderP2009]

Arghhh

Just been on Facebook for the first time in over a week to find that there is an event on there called
"Munition at the Snooty Fox - 13th October"

Now, I have wanted to play the SF for ages and wouldn't have a problem with this had I not already told the guy who organised the gig that I wouldn't be able to do the 13th and 14th due to not being able to get the days off work to which he said "that's fair enough dude, I'll try for something after the 16th then" which is fine with me...

But no, I tell him tonight I can't do the gig to which he tells me that he forgot I couldn't do those days and that we can't cancel the gig so I'll have to either find a fill in at work or they'll have to find a fill in for the actual gig.
I said to him about doing the 17th instead and he said "Nah, we can't do that day cos the drummers got work and can't get the day off" which he only found out 2 days ago meaning this problem came up 2 weeks after I first stated I couldn't do the 13th and 14th.

Now be honest with me, am I in the right for feeling completely pissed off and ignored over this situation or am I just being stupid?

Either way, they'll have to sort something as I will not be doing the gig as I'm not losing my job over it

Stevie.D

[daz]

your band dont sound like 'mates' to me. Maybe they think the bass dont matter? Seem like a bunch of selfish c**ts to me. f*** em.

[StevieD_FenderP2009]

Glad I'm not the only one who thinks so.
It's really f***ing annoyed me that they've done this and totally disrespected everything I f***ing said to them.
If I hadn't of joined they'd still be stuck in the guitarist f***ing lounge pondering whether the band was going to continue or not

[maxrossell]

That's total crap.

Whenever any of us get offered a gig we make damn sure the others can do the date before we commit to it. Apart from anything, that's the only logical way to go about it.

[farmer61]

Sounds to me the gig is more important to them than gigging as a whole band, not a great way to do business imo

[markstuk]

Basically they've told you that your commitments and input do not matter, certainly when compared to that of the drummer.. I would walk away in your position...

[Rich]

[quote name='maxrossell' post='973512' date='Oct 1 2010, 07:40 AM']Whenever any of us get offered a gig we make damn sure the others can do the date before we commit to it. Apart from anything, that's the only logical way to go about it.[/quote]
Absolutely +1.
It's their huge cock-up, let them chase down a dep for the gig. It'll be their fault alone if they can't do it.
Keep your ears open to make sure you don't start getting slagged behind your back for 'commitment issues' or refusing to do a gig.

[chris_b]

This happened to me a couple of years ago. I told the band leader that I couldn't do 2 dates, when there were no gigs booked. I told him again when he got a gig on the first date, and again when he got a gig on the second date. He then started to have a go because I couldn't change my plans. I got fired and he kept the dep, so I was unimportant and expendable to him, as he was to me. That's life.

My advice is that this is not your fault so stand your ground and be prepared to move on!

[freefaaall]

Steve,

Take a deep breath in....and release.... The person who booked the gig, having been told that you were not available, is simply fallible. Has he acknowledged his mistake and apologised to you? By remembering that the drummer has the same problem with the 17th that you have with the 13/14th he is simply avoiding making the same mistake. </devils_advocate>

What this incident teaches us is that every working band needs to maintain an up to date availability calendar that shows both when members are unavailable and when that information was shared. The person who makes the bookings then has to take responsibility when they do so without checking the calender.

My 2p worth...


James

[markstuk]

James,

This is very generous and noble of you, except of course they've asked him to find his replacement... :-)

Cheers

Mark

[quote name='freefaaall' post='974194' date='Oct 1 2010, 03:33 PM']Steve,

Take a deep breath in....and release.... The person who booked the gig, having been told that you were not available, is simply fallible. Has he acknowledged his mistake and apologised to you? By remembering that the drummer has the same problem with the 17th that you have with the 13/14th he is simply avoiding making the same mistake. </devils_advocate>

What this incident teaches us is that every working band needs to maintain an up to date availability calendar that shows both when members are unavailable and when that information was shared. The person who makes the bookings then has to take responsibility when they do so without checking the calender.

My 2p worth...


James[/quote]

[krth1985]

I'm down to "might attend" that gig on facebook :brow: . I played there the other saturday, was really great. although that doesnt help your situation!

[tino]

[quote name='StevieD_FenderP2009' post='973400' date='Oct 1 2010, 12:52 AM']Arghhh

Just been on Facebook for the first time in over a week to find that there is an event on there called
"Munition at the Snooty Fox - 13th October"

Now, I have wanted to play the SF for ages and wouldn't have a problem with this had I not already told the guy who organised the gig that I wouldn't be able to do the 13th and 14th due to not being able to get the days off work to which he said "that's fair enough dude, I'll try for something after the 16th then" which is fine with me...

But no, I tell him tonight I can't do the gig to which he tells me that he forgot I couldn't do those days and that we can't cancel the gig so I'll have to either find a fill in at work or they'll have to find a fill in for the actual gig.
I said to him about doing the 17th instead and he said "Nah, we can't do that day cos the drummers got work and can't get the day off" which he only found out 2 days ago meaning this problem came up 2 weeks after I first stated I couldn't do the 13th and 14th.

Now be honest with me, am I in the right for feeling completely pissed off and ignored over this situation or am I just being stupid?

Either way, they'll have to sort something as I will not be doing the gig as I'm not losing my job over it

Stevie.D[/quote]
Of course you are right.they are total WAN**S and for a monetary consideration I can have a hit taken out on them

[JTUK]

Depends how precious you all are with deps.

But this does point to a breakdown and unless they are very apologetic about this, I'd think you might have trouble recovering this ground and this might be the begiining of the end for the band with this line-up.
Depends how much this might upset you, but it should be easy enough to move on and get another gig if you have to, IMO.

I'd expect the band booker to be very sorry about this misunderstanding and expect them to cancel if you were unhappy about them using a dep.
Also, you should use an online band calender like Google or whatever from now on and everyone post their unavailability.
Then whoever messes up from now on takes the blame, IMO

Edited October 3, 2010 by JTUK

[Truckstop]

You know what? That pisses me off and I've seen it and experienced it a few times.
Especially in metal, if the bassist can't make the gig, they play anyway regardless of how rubbish they know it'll sound! My old band got offered a gig once that I couldn't make due to a wedding or some such bullshit, but the rest of the band put themselves up for it! I threw my toys out of the pram big time and didn't rehearse for three weeks.
I didnt join a band and help write the songs to NOT play them live!!!

Man, ditch those self-serving, selfish, lazy wipes now!

Truckstop

[mcnach]

[quote name='daz' post='973448' date='Oct 1 2010, 02:04 AM']your band dont sound like 'mates' to me. Maybe they think the bass dont matter? Seem like a bunch of selfish c**ts to me. f*** em.[/quote]


My feelings exactly.

I don't know the whole situation, so it's hard to say without knowing the whole atmosphere etc... but I'd normally take this as my cue to grab my bass and say "so long, folks".

Hell, I've walked for less than that!

I need to deal with adults, people who are reliable (to a reasonable extent, we're talking humans, and furthermore... musicians ) and who respect me as much as I respect them.

[mcnach]

by the way, what happened with the gig?

[StevieD_FenderP2009]

Sorry for the late update

The drummer ended up ringing me the night before the first of the 4 gig run (Northampton - Halfiax - Bradford - Wakefield) to have a go at me then said "Can you make it down to a practise tonight?" (bare in mind this was 7pm he was ringing me) so I said no I couldn't. He then said he'd phone me back in 10 minutes... the call never came

Next day I get a text saying "we've got a stand in" and that was it. Icing on the cake? It was their old bass player and they ended up using him for all 4 of the shows. By this point, I was absolutely fuming. I got an apology EVENTUALLY off the 2 guitarists but nothing from the drummer still.

We've got a gig on the 16th in St Albans at the Horn which will make or break it. If I get spoken to or treated like sh*t at that one, I'm out. End of story. I would of just quit on the spot if i wasn't so crazy about playing gigs. I am looking for another band though so we shall see what happens

[howdoesitgoagain]

Yeah , I would join or form a new band and take my tunes with me.

If you can't work with the drummer then you can't really work with the band, let the others know that you are going to leave due to your differences [ particularly with the drummer ] , there is no point staying in an abusive band relationship, they sound a bit immature to me.

If they are just a bunch of lunch outs and not malicious, some one needs to take control of organising the practices and gigs and letting everyone know where and when and also making sure everyone is available before booking stuff.

But tbh it sounds like they are taking the piss out of you.

[D-L-B]

[quote name='StevieD_FenderP2009' post='1011486' date='Nov 3 2010, 11:07 PM']We've got a gig on the 16th in St Albans at the Horn which will make or break it. If I get spoken to or treated like sh*t at that one, I'm out. End of story. I would of just quit on the spot if i wasn't so crazy about playing gigs. I am looking for another band though so we shall see what happens[/quote]
Why not just quit now? It's obviously not working. I love playing live too but I couldn't possibly enjoy the gig after this.

[Doctor J]

Once it stops being fun, get out. It doesn't sound like you're in an enjoyable position at all.

[fatback]

[quote name='Doctor J' post='1011814' date='Nov 4 2010, 11:06 AM']Once it stops being fun, get out. It doesn't sound like you're in an enjoyable position at all.[/quote]


+1000

Why bother?

[Jean-Luc Pickguard]

Life's too short to put up with crap like that. I'd tell them where to stick it. If they do value you, they'll ask you to reconsider and it'll serve as a wake-up call to them. If they don't care either way you're much better off starting your own band or joining another.

[BassCat]

[quote name='Jean-Luc Pickguard' post='1012002' date='Nov 4 2010, 01:18 PM']Life's too short to put up with crap like that. I'd tell them where to stick it. If they do value you, they'll ask you to reconsider and it'll serve as a wake-up call to them. If they don't care either way you're much better off starting your own band or joining another.[/quote]


+1

If they're your mates & they value you as a band member they'll apologise & ask you back. If they don't then tell them to ram it & go form another band with people who do value you.