I DID Leave My Band!

[spongebob]

Noticed the post today include the 'should I quit the band' question.

Last week, I did quit my band. Don't regret it in the slightest, should have done it months ago.

Classic situation -

I joined band after they were around for a year or so, and wanted to replace their bassist. I found out they were being underhand to him (although we've never met), and declined to have anything to do with them until they resolved things with him fairly.

TBH, I did my research on them, and they didn't sound any good....but they had a full diary - so after a period in a zero-paying originals band, I thought I'd take the dirty money!

Things were great for the first 6 months - all got on, it was fun. However, rehearsals dried up - the attitude was learn the song at home and wing it at the gig. Nice idea, but it always sounded crap - and some never did bother to learn it at all. The singer always found this funny, and it became a real exercise in watching the clock and taking the money.

The lead guitarist and drummer formed a side-project. Fine, until they got the odd gig, and booked them on the same day as ours. We had to cancel - once again, it was all 'don't worry about it' - I did!

Cut a saga short, the guitarist left, then the drummer was sacked, and singer resigned. Myself and the remaining guitarist decided to continue - essentially, I found the replacements whilst she complained about everything!

I just wanted to fulfill the gigs. The issue was that the original bass player was very well connected, and had filled the diary for the year and a bit after he was sacked. We were living off his original bookings. This was the big issue - people not booking. Only person to book anything new was me.

We used an online google calender - people can access and mark when they can't make a date. Works well, but the new members developed a habit of me booking gigs, and them then saying that they can't make it. Gig cancelled, left feeling an idiot.

The re-bookings never happened. I kept offering to call, but the guitarist insisted she would....and kept saying it. Eventually, she starts going mad because there aren't any gigs. She lost her job months back, and doesn't get up until about 3pm. Then complains that by that time you can't get hold of anyone to book!!

The direction we were taking - more pop - was great, but TBH, besides the singer, the rest weren't cutting it. I was losing interest, fast. Then we start rehearsing and people don't turn up. Lame excuses again.

Final straw was last week, when the singer cancelled late on the day of rehearsal. My dog was put to sleep a few days before, and I had just had enough of not being happy. I was discussing by text with the guitarist the future...and I quit.

Didn't hear anything from anyone for about 4 days at all. Eventually get a text - quite insincere, but wanting the passwords for the website I created.

I ignored the text and deleted the webpage....petty, moi?

Forward fast to today. Just taking it easy, got a couple of things in the pipeline, and a new offer today.

My advice is what I should have done months ago - the minute it becomes a chore, jump ship. I'd rather be on a desert island playing along to a CD than be in a million miles of a group I don't care for. I just guess you live and learn!

Sorry for the lengthy rant, but I hope it helps.

[Machines]

I've always done the same thing when i've been unhappy - this has generally left me bandless though. I've got my profile on musofinder, but to be honest - I rarely even check it for messages.

[spongebob]

I've normally quit for something. First time I've just jacked it in too.

[Cat Burrito]

I've left a couple when the writing has been on the wall - you have to spot the signs or it's harder to remain friends, if that is to be an option.

[BottomE]

Wow - what a story. Sounds like you'll be better off outta that band.

Really sorry about your dog. I know how it feels mate.

[RAY AGAINST THE MACHINE]

congratultions! Good to know from experience ,you won't have to go through that again

[amnesia]

I think everyone on this site will have a similar story or two.

I nearly quit playing after I left my previous band 18 months ago. For me a band does three things - they write new material, record new material or gig. My previous band wasn't doing any of these.
The guitarist was in another band and it was obvious where his priorities lay. Rehersals became stagnent and hard work with too much messing about. People not turning up on time. The rub was that we had our own studio that had recording kit but we never used it! When a practice was cancelled, it wasn't rescheduled for another day in the week.


It took me about three months to make the decision and I was completely jaded by the time I quit. I didn't even pick up a bass for 6 months.

I got the bug back when I went to see a friend of mine standing in for another band. He was having way too much fun and I decided it was time I got back in the saddle. Interestingly - the drummer has just left for the same reasons I did!

[Jam]

Sorry to hear about your dog man, hope you're bearing up.

[spongebob]

Thanks for the kind words.

My dog was 13 years and 7 months, a border collie - had him since he was rescued at just over 4. He had a great life, and that's what I take comfort from. He was probably more pampered than royalty!

Saying goodbye was just the worst thing in the world....just the look you exchange. He wasn't in pain, but he would have been if he hadn't been 'assisted'. He had a cancerous tumor which had exploded (we think overnight) - during the last day you tell he wasn't really 'there' - it was obvious his time was near.

I think it helped prompt my band decision, as it just makes you think, why put up with it? We're all against the clock, so why waste time doing something you don't enjoy?

Saying that, I go to work everyday....and I don't particularly enjoy that either!