Band Decision to make

[Beedster]

[quote name='thunderbird13' post='1221291' date='May 5 2011, 05:16 PM']If anyone who has been following my progress knows I havent had much luck with bands in fact after the last lot ditched me in Feb I havent touched my bass. Completely out of the blue I have just received an email from one of the bands who I audtioned for at Christmas time saying that they have been let down by their bass player and do I want the gig. Here's my dilema

On the plus side, it gets me playing again with people of a good standard ( the guitarist is one of the best guitarists I've ever heard live)
They are local to me
They play 70 and 80's rock ( which I like)
They have local well paid gigs

On the negative side they mucked me about something rotten after the auditon , first they offered me the gig on the spot, then they refused to answer my telephone calls and emails and then went with someone else , so I'm not sure how much I trust them.


Any thoughts ?[/quote]

Do the gig, enjoy it, but after your previous experience, don't expect everything to be a bed of roses. However, the devil you know is always easier to deal with (and I always work on the basis of one bad experience can be a fluke, but two is a pattern)

Good luck

C

[lojo]

[quote name='Johnston' post='1221441' date='May 5 2011, 07:34 PM']Go see how it goes now you're "in" the band.

But go with eyes open and knowing it might not be a bed of roses.[/quote]

What he said

[geoffbyrne]

I'd go along & see them, sit down with them over a pint & ask them straight out why they buggered me about. If I got a decent & respectful apology, I'd go with it, otherwise I'd walk away.

G.

[Jean-Luc Pickguard]

[quote name='geoffbyrne' post='1221465' date='May 5 2011, 07:47 PM']I'd go along & see them, sit down with them over a pint & ask them straight out why they buggered me about. If I got a decent & respectful apology, I'd go with it, otherwise I'd walk away.

G.[/quote]
+1!

[ThomBassmonkey]

Do it but don't be afraid to ditch them if they start messing you about.

If it's local, there's nothing to lose. Worst that can happen is you do a practice or two with some new people and gain some experience. It's not like it's a long distance to travel or you'd be forced to play music you don't like.

[JTUK]

Do it and see how it goes. They may be desperate and they may let you down again but they will have served a purpose getting you playing again because until you do that, you can't be in a band anyway.

Some people are too precious about bands...IMV, they only have to work on a certain level..like you enjoy the time doing it...being best mates or whatever doesn't come into it.

Treat it as stepping stone and if you stick around, it must be ok. Turn up and take the money and enjoy it for what it is..

[TheGreek]

Do the gig and show 'em why they should have given you the gig in the first place....

[Shambo]

I reckon you might have had a lucky escape first time around. They messed you about and I think it'll happen again... casually. They've gone on to have problems with the other person they offered the position, which suggests either social inadequacy or a disregard for bass players in general.

I would politely decline their generous offer but then I'm not you, and gigging for the sake of it isn't the be all and end all in my book.

Edited May 5, 2011 by Shambo

[Graham56]

[quote name='JTUK' post='1221479' date='May 5 2011, 07:57 PM']Do it and see how it goes. They may be desperate and they may let you down again but they will have served a purpose getting you playing again because until you do that, you can't be in a band anyway.

Some people are too precious about bands...IMV, they only have to work on a certain level..like you enjoy the time doing it...being best mates or whatever doesn't come into it.

Treat it as stepping stone and if you stick around, it must be ok. Turn up and take the money and enjoy it for what it is..[/quote]

This. It will be good experience, you'll get your face out there, you'll sharpen your gigging skills and you might even enjoy it. And if it doesn't work out it's something else on the CV and will put you in a better place to find the next band.

Cheers

Graham

[stu_g]

you know what happened last time so if it happens further down the line it wont be as bad a blow to you and you get to play with a good guitarist get some local exposure and gigs under your belt and if it dont work out hide under the bed and dont answer there calls

[TimR]

[quote name='JTUK' post='1221479' date='May 5 2011, 07:57 PM']...
Some people are too precious about bands...IMV, they only have to work on a certain level..like you enjoy the time doing it...being best mates or whatever doesn't come into it.
...[/quote]

If you do anything for any length of time you will bond on a certain level with the people around you. It get's nasty when they turn out not to be the people you thought they were.

You've got to be a strange individual not to build friendships with your band mates.

Or is it just me?

[thunderbird13]

cheers guys - on balance it looks like proceed with caution , which is pretty much what I had thought I'd do anyway

[chris_b]

Like I said go for it, but I wouldn't join with any attitude or resentment about being second choice. That could be just shooting yourself in the foot. Be cool and blow them away with your playing.

[thunderbird13]

[quote name='chris_b' post='1221786' date='May 5 2011, 11:50 PM']Like I said go for it, but I wouldn't join with any attitude or resentment about being second choice. That could be just shooting yourself in the foot. Be cool and blow them away with your playing.[/quote]


You obviously havent heard me play

[Lozz196]

[quote name='Clarky' post='1221320' date='May 5 2011, 05:42 PM']I am in the 'go for it' camp - there's little to be gained from the alternative and - if you fit with the band at the first gig - the question of mucking you down the line most likely won't exist[/quote]

Wise words. And bear in mind that it is a two-way thing. You may decide after a while, actually, this band isn`t really right for you after all.

I would say though, given the initial "mix-ups" keep your eyes and ears open, and whilst not being overtly suspicious, let them earn your trust.

And have a blast, playing music/gigs/earning a bit extra at the same time.

[JTUK]

[quote name='TimR' post='1221633' date='May 5 2011, 09:46 PM']If you do anything for any length of time you will bond on a certain level with the people around you. It get's nasty when they turn out not to be the people you thought they were.

You've got to be a strange individual not to build friendships with your band mates.

Or is it just me?[/quote]

Sure, but you don't have to be really really close. You just have to get along at a decent level and if you think they'll let you down, you aren't going to love them anyway. For me, the right player is the right player, not my best mate. If the playing doesn't work and you have to part with your mate, what happens then..??

You can do it on any level that suits you..even just for the money, but be clear that you know and accept that when you go in.
I'd approach this as a few gigs trial on MY part and if they work out ok, I'll stick around, and I would agree that you don't want to take the resentment you may have into this gig. Use them as they are using you and go from there.

It is only a gig....you either want to play or you don't and all of them will have compromises somewhere ..
This may be that they aren't great communicators or whatever.. you'll pick up on what is required soon enough after a few dates.

[Dropzone]

We normally have the three gig propbation period when either party can break things off with no bad feelings. After that someone walks without good reason there is bad blood as the band is as strong as family to me.

[mcnach]

[quote name='JTUK' post='1221981' date='May 6 2011, 10:06 AM']Sure, but you don't have to be really really close. You just have to get along at a decent level and if you think they'll let you down, you aren't going to love them anyway. For me, the right player is the right player, not my best mate. If the playing doesn't work and you have to part with your mate, what happens then..??

You can do it on any level that suits you..even just for the money, but be clear that you know and accept that when you go in.
I'd approach this as a few gigs trial on MY part and if they work out ok, I'll stick around, and I would agree that you don't want to take the resentment you may have into this gig. Use them as they are using you and go from there.

It is only a gig....you either want to play or you don't and all of them will have compromises somewhere ..
This may be that they aren't great communicators or whatever.. you'll pick up on what is required soon enough after a few dates.[/quote]


exactly.

I view bandmates as someone I share a fun activity with. Like it could be playing football on Sundays or something. Yes, tehre is some kind of bond developing usually, but it does not need to be strong, and sometimes there isn't one and our relationship is restricted to the times we rehearse and gig together.
One of the bands I'm in now, we've been together for over 2 years, except the drummer who's a recent addition. We get along great. I truly rate them all as players and as persons, but we very rarely do anything together outside the band. We chat and joke together, our trips for gigs are fun... if any of them needed anything I'd do my best to help... but I don't consider them close friends.
With other bands, the bond was much less. And there's one band I joined last summer where things just "clicked" and we're already a bunch of friends who play together...
Sometimes you become friends, sometimes you don't. Bottomline is: it's not necessary to have a good band going. It's great if it happens, and you do need a certain degree of "affinity" (unless you're a real mercenary and just view the band as a job, full stop, which is fine too... it depends what you're after... it's not the way I earn a living, so I'm only looking for it to be fun and hopefully pay for itself)... but it's not necessary to be friends.

[thunderbird13]

[quote name='mcnach' post='1222028' date='May 6 2011, 10:36 AM']exactly.

I view bandmates as someone I share a fun activity with. Like it could be playing football on Sundays or something. Yes, tehre is some kind of bond developing usually, but it does not need to be strong, and sometimes there isn't one and our relationship is restricted to the times we rehearse and gig together.
One of the bands I'm in now, we've been together for over 2 years, except the drummer who's a recent addition. We get along great. I truly rate them all as players and as persons, but we very rarely do anything together outside the band. We chat and joke together, our trips for gigs are fun... if any of them needed anything I'd do my best to help... but I don't consider them close friends.
With other bands, the bond was much less. And there's one band I joined last summer where things just "clicked" and we're already a bunch of friends who play together...
Sometimes you become friends, sometimes you don't. Bottomline is: it's not necessary to have a good band going. It's great if it happens, and you do need a certain degree of "affinity" (unless you're a real mercenary and just view the band as a job, full stop, which is fine too... it depends what you're after... it's not the way I earn a living, so I'm only looking for it to be fun and hopefully pay for itself)... but it's not necessary to be friends.[/quote]

This is really interesting, since when I started to get back into bands 3 years ago it was primarily a social thing to meet people who shared my interests, just as I join an astronomy group because I like looking at stars. I had forgotten that this isnt everyone else's motivation and some people, even at the amateur level, are in bands purely to play music or to satisfy their ego. Whenever I look at things this way, my experience of bands makes a lot more sense. Bottom line is for some people its all just business.

[Lozz196]

Yep, my last band, I knew them all before I got the opening to join, though only on a bump into them at gigs basis. Once I joined, we all got on very well, with 3 of us, who all lived in the same town regularly socialising. Now that it`s all split, I still hang about with one of the guys - the one who actually decided to quit, and as a result the band fell apart, in fact. One guy upped & moved 50 miles away with his GF, so bump into him very seldom, and the other guy, who lived in another town, txt/e-mail but that`s it. He seems to have taken the band breaking up the worst, even though he has another band, and had one all the time I was in the one that split.

So your band-mates can become your regular mates.

[danhkr]

I'd be wary of the fact they messed you around last time, but I wouldn't use that as a reason to cut off your nose to spite your face. Really the key issue for me is whether the band are generally 'ok guys'.

As long as none of them are total w*****s or ego maniacs, I'd give them another chance.

Edited May 6, 2011 by danhkr

[Low End Bee]

My two bobs worth. Join up. Maybe one or two of the band are nice chaps. Maybe you can pinch them and start a new band if it all goes square shaped........

[JTUK]

Bands, first and foremost=contacts. IMO.

If it doesn't work in one guise or another, then you have spread the wings just a little further.

It is most important, IMV, to know who you can work with musically, and they, you. Once this is sorted, the rest can fall into place
with whatever criteria you want to add for whatever reasons.

But..my pet rule is NEVER to be in bands just because they are mates. If it works out like that, then bonus but it is never the strongest reason as when things come to an end badly, if applicable, you don't want to lose mates AND the band

[mcnach]

[quote name='thunderbird13' post='1222115' date='May 6 2011, 12:01 PM']This is really interesting, since when I started to get back into bands 3 years ago it was primarily a social thing to meet people who shared my interests, just as I join an astronomy group because I like looking at stars. I had forgotten that this isnt everyone else's motivation and some people, even at the amateur level, are in bands purely to play music or to satisfy their ego. Whenever I look at things this way, my experience of bands makes a lot more sense. Bottom line is for some people its all just business.[/quote]


Yes, I guess we look for different things.

I joined BassChat for the "social-like" interaction with people who share my interests. Some I already know in person.

I joined/formed a band because... well, because I want to play music with others, primarily. Obviously I am going to have something in common with my bandmates, but the objective is to play music, not so much the social aspect.

Of course, we're social animals, some more and some less, and it results in a social relationship.
*some* even become friends. But it's not a requirement in order for a band to be an enjoyable experience.
What is a requirement is that the bandmates are decent human beings you are happy to be around of, reliable, and of course able to play to a reasonable level.

I don't conceive joining a band to make friends, even 'though playing in bands do result in some friendships.

Some people join a gym, or a basketball club, to meet people. I join a gym or a basketball club because I want to exercise and play basketball. In the process some friendships may be created, but that's not why I start those things. I just see friendships are something that occurs naturally while you are going about your business and you naturally meet people with some similar interests... anything else seems a bit forced and "unnatural" to me (all IMHO, what works for me may not be for you etc...)

[BottomE]

Maybe this should be another thread called "Do i have to like my fellow band members?" - I am with mcnach though. I don't believe you have to love your fellow musos to be in a good band. In fact, the better the musos that i get to play with the more socially inept and strange they seem to be. But thats not important. I don't want to sleep with them and already have a nice group of friends outside of the band thing.