The Things They Say To Annoy Us.

[dc2009]

[quote name='clauster' post='1249881' date='May 30 2011, 07:06 AM']"Where are you going with your amp? The promoter said I could use it." (Every time I've been asked this the promoter has not asked about kit-share)[/quote]

I don't tend to mind kit share, I will happily loan the use of my head if it means I don't need to transport all 49kg of my cab to the gig. (was also an excuse to chat to the delicious female bass player of the headline band at my last show).

Back on topic, I always personally hate the:
Me: Actually I play bass, not guitar (though I can play the former)
Someone else: So you just play three notes all day/Could you not manage the other two strings?

or another annoyance
Is that a bass with *pause* 5 strings?

[chrismuzz]

[quote name='Slipperydick' post='1250345' date='May 30 2011, 02:44 PM']Yeah, love thatn one.

Then if you take pity on him, he changes all your settings, making the sound check you just did a waste of time.[/quote]

Makes me so happy that I play with the settings on my head flat/off

I still hate seeing players max out the gain, and cringing every time the clip light comes on...

[Dood]

[quote name='MacDaddy' post='1249540' date='May 29 2011, 07:23 PM']Ah, the DFA knob [/quote]


The guitarist of a band I used to be in used to do the stage/monitor mix in a local venue. He had a row of coloured DFA's - each band member could have one of their own if they wanted ha ha!!!

[skej21]

[quote name='dood' post='1250837' date='May 30 2011, 09:43 PM']The guitarist of a band I used to be in used to do the stage/monitor mix in a local venue. He had a row of coloured DFA's - each band member could have one of their own if they wanted ha ha!!![/quote]

A mate of mine did a similar thing but when I referred to it as the "does f all" knob, he said "I always thought it was the 'deaf f**kin @rsehole' knob!"

[hellothere]

[quote name='Doddy' post='1249290' date='May 29 2011, 03:29 PM']"I'm/my mate/significant other/brother, is/used to be in a band............"[/quote]

Why is that so bad?

[steve-soar]

[quote name='hellothere' post='1250913' date='May 30 2011, 10:48 PM']Why is that so bad?[/quote]
Agreed.

[Linus27]

My mates got great heckles but the best one he shouts out at the top of his voice is,

"Play one the bass player knows"

[ThomBassmonkey]

[quote name='hellothere' post='1250913' date='May 30 2011, 10:48 PM']Why is that so bad?[/quote]

Because inevitably the following conversation will be dull and pointless. I've spoken with hundreds of interesting people that are actually in bands, if I wanted a full band history from them, I'd be wasting several years of my life. If I listened to the stories of people who weren't even in a band themselves but that had friends that were in a band, my whole life would be gone.

If their friend was in a famous band or someone you might know, then ok. Every time I've had that conversation though it goes:

Them: My friend was in a band.
Me: Oh? What was their name?
Them: You won't have heard of them, they were a [insert genre] band and played a few pub gigs locally.
I feel awkward for a minute because there's nowhere else the conversation can go (occasionally I can drag the situation out by asking more specifically what kind of music it is) then make excuses and leave.

At the gig: "Can I borrow your..." No, f*** off. If you'd asked me before hand, sure, but if you can't be bothered to organise gear for yourself (even if that involves asking me), I'm not going to let you use mine.

[chris_b]

Can my mate sing American Pie?

We don't know it.

Everyone knows American Pie.

!!!!

[ZMech]

Lets play The Chicken!

[Bloodaxe]

[quote name='hellothere' post='1250913' date='May 30 2011, 10:48 PM']Why is that so bad?[/quote]
Snotty one-upmanship. When used in the past tense, it falls into the same category as 'I used to have long hair' or 'I used to wear Denim cutoff/Leather jacket/an Afghan/Parka'.

The inference is that they've 'grown up' & become 'mature' & are thus vastly superior to you, like being the area rep for Acme Bog Rolls, owning two bri-nylon suits, & having half a million pounds of debt (aka 'A Mortgage') is somehow the pinnacle of human achievement.

As far as I'm concerned, such types have actually failed as they've completely missed the fact that growing older is compulsory but growing up is optional.

[Doddy]

[quote name='hellothere' post='1250913' date='May 30 2011, 10:48 PM']Why is that so bad?[/quote]

Because it usually continues with a story about how brilliant they are/were and how they go down great at the c*** and trumpet twice a year,or how they 'make the guitar talk'. It's also often followed by a request to have a go-although this is usually asked by drunk girlfriends.
I had it this weekend-"My boyfriend used to be in a Take That tribute band....."

[chrismuzz]

[quote name='Doddy' post='1249290' date='May 29 2011, 03:29 PM']"I'm/my mate/significant other/brother, is/used to be in a band............"[/quote]

Luckily every time I've experienced this it's been a positive experience, and had a good old natter. And the only people to ever ask to have a go on my bass have been other bass players that I trust!

Maybe I haven't played enough gigs

[tauzero]

[quote name='TimR' post='1249377' date='May 29 2011, 04:37 PM']I emailed it out just before I left this evening. I printed out a copy for myself but didn't bring any spares.[/quote]
Mrs Zero: I've printed out some copies of the set list. (turns to me) Sorry, sweetie, I didn't print one out for you.

A former singer would ask "Are there any birthdays or anniversaries in the room?". This would be followed by "Has anyone got any requests?". This was despite me regularly telling him not to ask for requests as there was only one occasion on which we'd managed to play one, and the drummer and I both busked it. But his worst was "Would anyone like to come up and do a song?". And they did, more then once.

[Slipperydick]

[quote name='Bloodaxe' post='1250994' date='May 31 2011, 12:41 AM']Snotty one-upmanship. When used in the past tense, it falls into the same category as 'I used to have long hair' or 'I used to wear Denim cutoff/Leather jacket/an Afghan/Parka'.

[b]The inference is that they've 'grown up' & become 'mature' & are thus vastly superior to you, like being the area rep for Acme Bog Rolls, owning two bri-nylon suits, & having half a million pounds of debt (aka 'A Mortgage') is somehow the pinnacle of human achievement.

As far as I'm concerned, such types have actually failed as they've completely missed the fact that growing older is compulsory but growing up is optional.[/b][/quote]


Love it !

Nice to see I'm not alone.

[chris_b]

[quote name='tauzero' post='1251100' date='May 31 2011, 09:23 AM']....A former singer would ask "Are there any birthdays or anniversaries in the room?". This would be followed by "Has anyone got any requests?"....[/quote]
We had a singer that said this to an audience. I told him that if he ever asked for requests again I'd leave the stage. He never did!!

I don't play Happy Birthday, either. Dedicate a number but never play Happy Birthday.

[ahpook]

on the 'i used to be in a band' talk - taxi drivers have always been the worst for that.

if you get in a taxi with a guitar it seems to be open season for the driver to regale you with tales of who he's had in the back, and how they love blues.

ok, i suppose, but i don't normally get into taxis for a chat.

[ZMech]

[quote name='Bloodaxe' post='1250994' date='May 31 2011, 12:41 AM']As far as I'm concerned, such types have actually failed as they've completely missed the fact that growing older is compulsory but growing up is optional.[/quote]
A similar theory I came up with, is that you don't get more mature, your immaturity just gets more refined.

[Ross]

Can you turn it up a bit soundman?
"No the bass is far too loud in the mix anyway"

faint rumble of bass, massive load of guitar, drums and vocals.
turn it up you little bitch of a soundman.

[TimR]

A odd conversation I had which probably fits in here, it was so bizarre I can still remember it pretty much word for word:

I'm approached by someone during the break.

Punter: Hey, wow you guys are really good.
Me: Thanks.
Punter: That's quite a small bass amp you've got how are you going to fill this place when it gets busy?
Me: Well it's 400W and I've only got it turned up to 3, it'll go to 7 before I get into trouble. Was it too quiet?
Punter: No, it was pretty loud actually.
Me: Oh, OK. It looks pretty busy already, does it get much more busy?
Punter: No idea, I've never been here before.
<long pause>
Punter: Actually I play guitar.
Me: (Thinks - oh here we go....) Really? Are you very busy?
Punter: What do you mean?
Me: Are you playing many gigs at the moment?
Punter: Oh, no, I'm not in a band. I just play at home. Recording and stuff.
Me: OK, are you looking for a band?
Punter: No. Actually you might be able to help - (reels off a load of problems he's having with his soundcard and software) - What do you think?
Me: No idea, I'm back on in a minute, I need to take a leak and get a drink, I'll catch you later.

[KingPrawn]

I was in a really great Irish covers band for a while. we were doing a function and there was one guy who was all over the place shouting etc etc. During th gap between a song our drummer who never spoke much said.

" ok the next dance (he paused) will be on your head if you don't shut the fuc* up" Pointing his sticks at our unwelcome punter.

Before anyone could respond he shouted 1234.into a pogues song

[mcnach]

[quote name='Ross' post='1251241' date='May 31 2011, 11:21 AM']Can you turn it up a bit soundman?
"No the bass is far too loud in the mix anyway"

faint rumble of bass, massive load of guitar, drums and vocals.
turn it up you little bitch of a soundman.[/quote]


a stage overloaded with guitar. bass barely audible... I am refusing to turn up much more and I rather try to eq onstage so I can hear it
next, the microphones are feeding back. Soundguy says there's too much bass on stage and I should turn down. I don't mind arguing, but sometimes you just know it won't serve any purpose, so I say "ok", walk to my amp, pretend to turn down a bit, continue. Het, the feedback did disappear. Magic?

[gjones]

At the break

Him 'hey you're pretty good!'.
Me 'Thanks'.
Him 'I play bass'.
Me 'mmmmm?'.
Him 'Can I get up an play a couple of tunes on your bass?'
Me 'No'.
Him 'Oh go on...'
Me 'No'
Him 'why not?'
Me 'because this is a professional gig and we're being paid and I've never met you before and I never loan my bass out to peope who I've known for 30 seconds and tell me they're a bass player and then ask if the can borrow my bass and play a few tunes with the band'.
Him 'So will you let me have a go?'.
Me 'No'
Him '..........actually I take it back you're not that good'
Me 'Thanks'

Edited May 31, 2011 by gjones

[Pete Academy]

After I had set up and lifted my gear up to ear height.

Soundman: 'You can't do that. It needs to go on the stage.'
Me: 'I can't hear it very well like that.'
Soundman: 'It sounds better on stage.'
Me: 'Who's doing this gig?'

[4-string-thing]

[quote name='skej21' post='1250844' date='May 30 2011, 09:49 PM']A mate of mine did a similar thing but when I referred to it as the "does f all" knob, he said "I always thought it was the 'deaf f**kin @rsehole' knob!" [/quote]

My last band had three DFA knobs.....

One was on a Telecaster, the second on an SG and the third was on lead vocals.....