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Selling my Soul


Mook
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I have been playing in a wedding band for a few years now and my soul is a small shriveled wreck of a thing and my chops have regressed to back to my teenage years. I am reaching a point now where I'm having to make up my mind----Wedding Band = old and bitter but with house and wife OR Freelance bass whore= loads of fun, back to great chops again and ------dare I say it.....get a job or lose the house and wife :)

I'd be interested if anyone else has been in this position and the path they chose

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[quote name='Mook' post='1309447' date='Jul 19 2011, 05:56 PM']I have been playing in a wedding band for a few years now and my soul is a small shriveled wreck of a thing and my chops have regressed to back to my teenage years. I am reaching a point now where I'm having to make up my mind----Wedding Band = old and bitter but with house and wife OR Freelance bass whore= loads of fun, back to great chops again and ------dare I say it.....get a job or lose the house and wife :)

I'd be interested if anyone else has been in this position and the path they chose[/quote]
What's stopping you being in two bands? Do both!

I've got three regular bands, and also have a quite demanding 9-5 career job including study for a degree equivalent.

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[quote name='silddx' post='1309471' date='Jul 19 2011, 06:17 PM']What's stopping you being in two bands? Do both!

I've got three regular bands, and also have a quite demanding 9-5 career job including study for a degree equivalent.[/quote]




Very true. Only problem is that the wedding band is pretty mush busy every weekend meaning I'm turning down offers for gigs I'd much rather be doing.

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You could start your own "hobby" band & just do something like a Thursday or Friday gig. Ask the guys from your wedding band if they'd like to join.
Just something of originals or whatever you like solely for the enjoyment of playing.

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[quote name='Ross' post='1309577' date='Jul 19 2011, 07:57 PM']And there are gigs on other days of the week believe it or not, for a project band. And open mic nights.[/quote]

+1

From my experience a new originals band would struggle to get booked at a weekend anyway.


Disclaimer - it may be that I've only ever been in rubbish/brutally uncommercial bands that therefore never play at weekends.

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One of the guys that works with me was in the same position. He is a talated keyboard player doing weddings and corparate work but it was slowly sapping him of his love for music so, he jacked it in and plays the occasional blues gig now and is much happier. But he has a day job to pay the bills as I reckon most of us on here have.

I think you need to suss out what matters to you most and go with it. Good luck with whatever you decide.

By the way, getting rid of the wife can be expensive :)

Jez

Edited by jezzaboy
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Hobby band is a very good idea and I've been working on my own stuff to do that, you really need to keep creative don't you. Love to do more session work too, used to do loads years ago before the wedding band took over my brain. Think I'm just going to start getting out there and not restrict myself to the wedding band. It's true that some of the best gigs are the cool mid-week ones.

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[quote name='rOB' post='1309588' date='Jul 19 2011, 08:14 PM']From my experience a new originals band would struggle to get booked at a weekend anyway.[/quote]
Depends entirely on how entertaining you are. At least half of the Dick Venom gigs are weekend ones.

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Make your cover band a bit more fun....
Learn songs that push you and the band, even if they don't always work on the dancefloor. If you keep doing it, you'll find songs you like to play but that actually do keep the dancefloor full. Punters will appreciate it, and you'll get lots of well paid work in a good niche cos your not just robotically playing Brown eyed girl and Neil Diamond night after night.... the gigs you get will get hipper and more fun. Blasting out "I am the resurrection" to a hopping dancefloor at a wedding is nothing boring at all!

That's how we handle it anyways.

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Not sure if I've read your initial post correctly, but if your main income is coming from being in a wedding band & you're married & have a mortgage, I'd say you're very lucky. I'd love to be in that position. However, I wouldn't be willing to lose a wife & a roof over my head for anything, but that is just my opinion.

I'm surprised that you think your skills are suffering as I would have thought that you need top notch skills to be in the type of band that has to cover so many areas of music.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

Cheers,
louisthebass

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[quote name='Jesso' post='1309814' date='Jul 19 2011, 11:26 PM']Make your cover band a bit more fun....
Learn songs that push you and the band, even if they don't always work on the dancefloor. If you keep doing it, you'll find songs you like to play but that actually do keep the dancefloor full. Punters will appreciate it, and you'll get lots of well paid work in a good niche cos your not just robotically playing Brown eyed girl and Neil Diamond night after night.... the gigs you get will get hipper and more fun. Blasting out "I am the resurrection" to a hopping dancefloor at a wedding is nothing boring at all!

That's how we handle it anyways.[/quote]


This.

Make it fun. Are the other members feeling the same way?
If you aren't playing at least 3 Stevie Wonder songs then learn some, now!

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Why not get back into shedding - or take a lesson or two with someone good to inspire you to tackle some more challenging music - once you've got your chops back a bit then find some like minded musos and get jamming, writing etc - take small steps - it doesn't have to either or... and like folks say, there are plenty of weekday gigs out there. One last thing I can add from experience is try swapping genre - if your always playing rock and pop stuff, why not find a Latin or funk band - the tunes are engaging and can be challenging to play - I know I felt pretty uninspired when I was playing rock stuff for years and really got back into my playing when I started working with world music, funk and jazz bands again - and my playing improved ten fold.

Just a thought...

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I've had a thought, why not teach bass as a day job, gig in the evenings.
I know a guy my age clearing 25-30k a year off teaching and gigs (originals band), guitar teacher mind you but I'm sure the moneys there for bass too if you get your name out there.

Even with that I'm sure you can keep your wedding band on while things pick up.

Edited by Ross
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[quote name='BigRedX' post='1309797' date='Jul 19 2011, 11:06 PM']Depends entirely on how entertaining you are. At least half of the Dick Venom gigs are weekend ones.[/quote]

As I say-

[quote name='rOB' post='1309588' date='Jul 19 2011, 08:14 PM']Disclaimer - it may be that I've only ever been in rubbish/brutally uncommercial bands that therefore never play at weekends.[/quote]

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You need to make up your mind what is important to you.

If you are makiing a living just from the wedding band you are doing well...but you probably need 2 salaries for the house anyway, and that is without kids.

If you are just playing weddings..that is a lot of wasted time that could be put to good use the rest of the week.
Sessions would have been a natural gig..but that scene has changed now.

You need a job that pays 2-3 days average wages and then you might have to room to juggle around dates.
If you quit the wedding band/main income, you'll lose everyt5hing...as no doubt you know..and getting back on that housing ladder will be nigh on impossible..???

Write down what you have to do to earn £30k p.a. and work out what your compromises are going to be...because there will be some.

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The trick is finding the right band innit.

I gig a LOT with my covers/function band, but its great fun....everyone is a very high standard, no show is the same really. But I also take lessons, teach a little bit (great way of learning about yourself as well), and play some original shows too, not as many as I used to...I pick and choose them now.

I know loads of guys who make a healthy living from being a professional musician/teacher, me?....I kinda like the seperation between my (rather serious) semi-pro hobby, and the rest of my life.

Si

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Great replies guys, all very inspiring uplifting stuff. Decided it's time to overhaul the wedding band and make it something to look forward to at the weekends. A complete overhaul of the set and work ethic is in order I'd say. Make things interesting musically too..maybe some more Stevie Wonder as lemmywinks suggested. Been offered employment too today so that takes care of any week activities as it involves a lot of evening work. Bottom line----time to make the stale old boring wedding band a sh*t hot funky one. Thanks a lot guys :)

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