Depressing things your bandmates say.

[Moody]

Happened about 6 weeks ago, good job we've always been proper mates:

Drummer "I can't practice for a while"
Me "Why not?"
Drummer "I've sold my kit so I can save for a new one"

Can you go to prision if you murdered him after that last statement? I reckon I could get away with it...

[dave_bass5]

[quote name='Moody' timestamp='1318000043' post='1397151']

Can you go to prision if you murdered him after that last statement?
[/quote]

Not if its a drummer.

[BigRedX]

[quote name='mcgraham' timestamp='1317997193' post='1397110']
"What were the chords for Mustang Sally?"
[/quote]
I don't know and I hope I never need to find out.

[Doddy]

Me.... (in an original project)"It might sound good if you play a B minor chord there"
Keys player.... "How do I play that?"
Me....."B,D,F#"
Keys player....'Where are they?" (starts fumbling around)

I'm out.

[mcgraham]

Another band member: "Oh is this one of the new ones?"

Me: ".... No... this is the one that we spent 3 hours trying to get right last rehearsal.... after the 3 hours we spent trying to nail the rehearsal before that... to which you still said 'is this one of the new ones'"

[Jean-Luc Pickguard]

[quote name='BigRedX' timestamp='1318001151' post='1397166']
I don't know and I hope I never need to find out.
[/quote]

Look away now:

C7 F7 G F# F7 C7
C7 F7 C7
G F# F7 C7

[steve-bbb]

[quote name='bungle' timestamp='1317994519' post='1397077']
"My girlfriend is a really great singer, maybe she could sing a few songs with us or do some duets"
"I've written a song" (From the drummer, obv)
[/quote]

RUN AWAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY .....................

[Blink]

[quote name='BottomE' timestamp='1317986457' post='1396934']
Heres a great Josh Stone track.
[/quote]

Who's Josh Stone?

[Happy Jack]

1. I'm not playing any bloody gigs for no money, that's taking the piss that is.

2. I'm setting up a charity gig, you guys don't mind playing for nothing and lending your gear as the backline for the day and being first to arrive and last to leave. Do you?

3. I bloody hate landlords. They're a useless bloody bunch of tossers. Liars the lot of 'em.

4. The landlord of the Dog & Duck has promised us a gig. Well that's what the barmaid said. Well, she actually said she'd tell him I'd dropped in.

5. You guys don't mind if I get there just before we start, do you? You don't need me for setting-up, right?

6. Why the f*** am I over here. You KNOW I always like to be just there. Well can't you move your bass rig? No, the drums only have to move a couple of feet.

7. Jesus, you make me sick. You're always whinging about your kit, and you bring far too much anyway.

8. Erm ... guys ... erm ... I forgot to bring my amp. Can you help?

9. I reckon this band can really go places, y'know, cos we're all really committed.

10. When was that gig booked for at the Kebab & Calculator? Oh. Look guys, I've booked a week ski-ing ...

*****************************

In case you were wondering, each pair of comments was made by the same guy (none are invented or even exaggerated - I didn't need to).

In case you were wondering, he's a lead guitarist. Who thinks he can sing.

In case you were wondering, we sacked him three weeks ago.

[BottomE]

[quote name='Blink' timestamp='1318006772' post='1397238']

Who's Josh Stone?
[/quote]
There you go. I meant Joss Stone. They're both rubbish.

[discreet]

[quote name='Blink' timestamp='1318006772' post='1397238']
Who's Josh Stone?[/quote]


Captain Josh Stone is a member of the Bioterrorism Security Assessment Alliance's West Africa division.



Edit: Spelling.

Edited October 7, 2011 by discreet

[DirkThrust]

I was in a prog/classic rock band and one day the talentless poseur who thought he could sing uttered this immortal line to me

"Can't you play like Lemmy/Chris Squire/The bloke out of Hawkwind. Don't worry about filling up the bottom end, John (the keyboard player) can do that with his left hand"

F&$k Off!!

Edited October 7, 2011 by DirkThrust

[Panamonte]

[quote name='Happy Jack' timestamp='1318006889' post='1397242']

In case you were wondering, each pair of comments was made by the same guy (none are invented or even exaggerated - I didn't need to).

In case you were wondering, he's a lead guitarist. Who thinks he can sing.

In case you were wondering, we sacked him three weeks ago.
[/quote]

Wow! ALL from the same person? I...er...no, words fail me

[DirkThrust]

THe drummer in another band

"I haven't had time to practise since last time" (2 weeks ago)

or, when I was trying to explain a simple rhythm change to him because the whole feel of the song and the bassline depended on it

"Well I'm not really a musician"

You don't say. So i didn't push it. Let him listen to the record I thought, and he'll get it right next time. So....

Next practise (2 weeks later)

"I haven't had time to practise since last time"

[4-string-thing]

Singer to me: "that was great, what do you think?"

Me: "it was ok"

Singer: "smile then"

Me: "when it gets good, I will"

It never did....

[Raslee]

Often when trying deps, mainly Guitards:

'Ah yeah reggae is easy, just smoke some herb'

Followed by a heap mess guitard on the floor who cannot skank in time, with feel, for sh*te .....next!

[Subbeh]

Nearly every time we picked up the guitarist for a gig/rehearsal - "I am SO drunk" as he's opening another can.

Me to said guitarist "did you learn the solo for that song", the reply was invariably "Yeah, no problem!" he would then
just get on his Wah and knockout the exact same solo he did for every song .

And finally the last gig I played with him, "What did you think? that was amazing!", yeah mate which bit? you being drunk
and off your face on whatever youve managed to get up your nose? the song you played with your trousers round your ankles
or maybe the bit in Hey Joe where you fell over and spent the rest of the song lying on your back pushing yourself around the
stage?

All from the guy who every month or so would sit us down and tell us how we had to really knuckle down and get serious, jesus bloody wept!

[Michaelg]

our cricket teams motto was 'There's always next time.'

[Killerfridge]

"What's that string called again?"

"I've just written a great new song" *Plays power chords of A, F, C, G* "Whadya think?"*

*Note: all our songs go A F C G. At least all the songs written by this certain person. Doesn't even think of changing the key.

[stingrayPete1977]

Usually drummer again, "the bass player in my other band has a Fender USA" with a look as if I'm meant to be in awe of him just for knowing a friend of said Fender owner, maybe if I sold all 3 Rays I could put a bit more and pick up a second hand Mex

[mrdreadful]

A lot of this stuff sounds pretty reasonable cause for sadtimes... a lot of it just seems to be snobbish bitching; pretty much why I'm increasingly growing to hate the internet. Seriously, if the drummer wants to write a song or one of the band members actually has a life outside of the band and thus cannot commit to everything instantly: get the f**k over it... if you were so brilliant you'd be multi-platinum and doing magazine interviews not moaning on some forum.

Edited October 7, 2011 by mrdreadful

[Killerfridge]

[quote name='stingrayPete1977' timestamp='1318021463' post='1397475']
Usually drummer again, "the bass player in my other band has a Fender USA" with a look as if I'm meant to be in awe of him just for knowing a friend of said Fender owner, maybe if I sold all 3 Rays I could put a bit more and pick up a second hand Mex
[/quote]

That reminds me of something I heard very recently

"Sadowsky? What, can't you afford a [i]real[/i] Fender?"

[Happy Jack]

[quote name='Killerfridge' timestamp='1318021825' post='1397479']

"Sadowsky? What, can't you afford a [i]real[/i] Fender?"
[/quote]

Pah! I can top that.

2nd September, playing the George IV in Chiswick, at the end of the first set a punter (who had been watching me pretty carefully) came over and pointed at my Alleva Coppolo KBP5.

"Hey mate, is that a Peavey?"

Edited October 7, 2011 by Happy Jack

[stingrayPete1977]

[quote name='mrdreadful' timestamp='1318021561' post='1397476']A lot of this stuff sounds pretty reasonable cause for sadtimes... a lot of it just seems to be snobbish bitching; pretty much why I'm increasingly growing to hate the internet. Seriously, if the drummer wants to write a song or one of the band members actually has a life outside of the band and thus cannot commit to everything instantly: get the f**k over it... if you were so brilliant you'd be multi-platinum and doing magazine interviews not moaning on some forum.[/quote]

Touched a nerve

[Killerfridge]

[quote name='Happy Jack' timestamp='1318021961' post='1397480']

Pah! I can top that.

2nd September, playing the George IV in Chiswick, at the end of the first set a punter (who had been watching me pretty carefully) came over and pointed at my Alleva Coppolo KBP5.

"Hey mate, is that a Peavey?"
[/quote]

Ah yes, but that was a punter. This was a (pretty good) bass player!