Lfalex v1.1 Posted December 9, 2011 Share Posted December 9, 2011 [quote name='Mr. Foxen' timestamp='1323389613' post='1462958'] If nothing crap has happened to me or falling out on me from it happening to someone close to me, music doesn't really happen for me. [/quote] "Mister, just look up and you will see it coming down.." (Ben Harper) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pietruszka Posted December 9, 2011 Share Posted December 9, 2011 [quote name='witterth' timestamp='1323386130' post='1462929'] When something awful happened to me, (my Dad passing, he was my best ever friend as well as me Dad) music stopped as well cos it felt "stupid and trivial". a lot of the stuff we both enjoyed used to simply upset me (ho Hum) but and as they say I got to live with those feelings given time.But it took a lot of time and still some music chokes me still after two bars but, I got on the provebial bike. and often think he'd say "dont be so soft!" took up playing again around the time I joined BC and allthough I'll never be the "Pino P" I wanted to be in 1983, playing bass makes me smile again,gets me out earns some cash, and gives me sommat else to think about other tha the day job,...so thats good innit? god what a morose sentimental twat [/quote] This in every possible way. My Dad passed away in July, and unfortunately things have turned for the far more sour, the wife he left behind has 'suddenly' chose to keep the entire estate for herself leaving me and my two siblings with no inheritance so things are fairly low at the moment. I have a wonderful girlfriend and unlike this woman, I have a family still. The downside to these feelings is that I don't feel motivated to play or do anything really, add to the fact that its now my job really concerns me at times. But I keep playing because I can hear my Dad saying "just get on with it! Just do it!" So I do, its difficult and I feel I don't a direction to go at times but it keeps me occupied. Dan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ian Savage Posted December 9, 2011 Share Posted December 9, 2011 I haven't had 'downs' to anything like the degree many on here have, but I generally find that something life-changing happening in either direction does coincide with an increase in creativity. Two of the best songs I think I've ever written are about a pretty horrible breakup and about a new girlfriend, hopefully neither of them too tacky - if nothing in particular's going on in my life I find it very hard to get inspired. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jackers Posted December 9, 2011 Share Posted December 9, 2011 There are some truly wonderful stories in this thread A couple of them actually made me choke up. I haven't had any experiences as major as other people in here, but whenever I get upset, angry or just feel crap, I pick up my bass, and for the time I'm playing I find myself in a completely different place, and whatever was upsetting me seems much more manageable. I've had days where I have literally played bass for 6 or 7 hours, and when I had finished I felt much better. I wouldn't say that my creativity is affected, because as soon as I start playing, it puts a smile on my face. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
risingson Posted December 9, 2011 Share Posted December 9, 2011 This has been a really good thread to read. I've had some terrible family problems over the years, especially between myself and my older sister. There were times where being in the house when she was there could get unbearable and I'm certain that during that time of my life, I became a much more driven person creatively and became really committed to music. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigRedX Posted December 9, 2011 Share Posted December 9, 2011 (edited) [quote name='Lfalex v1.1' timestamp='1323434724' post='1463310'] I'd really struggle without both of my hands.... [/quote] I'd go back to programming electronic music. While I love playing live, for me it's about the composition first and foremost. Edited December 9, 2011 by BigRedX Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ian Savage Posted December 9, 2011 Share Posted December 9, 2011 [quote name='BigRedX' timestamp='1323440380' post='1463431'] I'd go back to programming electronic music. While I love playing live, for me it's about the composition first and foremost. [/quote] I'd have drumsticks surgically grafted to the stumps. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xilddx Posted December 9, 2011 Author Share Posted December 9, 2011 [quote name='risingson' timestamp='1323439850' post='1463422'] This has been a really good thread to read. I've had some terrible family problems over the years, especially between myself and my older sister. There were times where being in the house when she was there could get unbearable and I'm certain that during that time of my life, I became a much more driven person creatively and became really committed to music. [/quote] Had a similar experience mate, I have changed since then, but so has he, and it's easier now, but still a source of worry and anxiety for me, and fear of feeling like I did back then, and knowing I can react to things in the way I did, I NEVER want to feel that way again. However, my musical life took off as a result of me needing the comfort of music. Also, one of my very closest friends suddenly dying in April changed me a bit. I recorded most of the bass on his album (which he'd almost finished and which we are releasing pothumously), I was basically embellishing his ideas and replacing his synth bass parts. I remember sending him the bass track for a song he wrote about his girlfriend who had donated a kidney to him a few years earlier, it was a really important song for him. I had reharmonised the second half of a part with a sax solo on it. He phoned me later on and told me the bass on that part gave him the shivers, he loved it! That made me realise I should trust my judgement and take more risks. That was also compounded by the wonderful comments I got on here about Kit's EP. I'm starting to feel like I have an identity in the way I write bass parts, and although I'm severely lacking in many areas, I am starting to believe in myself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul S Posted December 9, 2011 Share Posted December 9, 2011 About 15 years ago I became ill with ME and I had a 8 or so year period of my life 'missing' whilst trying to deal with it. Fortunately for me it passed without leaving too great a legacy but it made me appreciate my life and what I have in a different way to before, knowing what a close scrape I'd had with a very different future. One of the things I decided to do, once I became well enough, was to buy a bass guitar - picking up the reigns I put down when I left university back in the late 70s. So, yes, for me a life changing event pushed me into music. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cat Burrito Posted December 9, 2011 Share Posted December 9, 2011 When I had cancer music was a big healer - I was playing live during treatments, gigging shortly after surgery and the doctors were laughing because I was more concerned about not being able to play live then going back to work! Likewise my marriage break up was something I coped with through music. I even did a gig on what would have been my wedding anniversary. You have to do what you have to do to get through the day And my relationship with music has proven to run deeper than my marriage did! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RhysP Posted December 9, 2011 Share Posted December 9, 2011 (edited) This past two years or so have been the worst time of my life, and it's going to get worse. I find music, either listening to or playing, is of absolutely no use, help, comfort etc. whatsoever - so much so that I largely don't bother with it. It's the first real time in my life when I have not gained anything positive from listening to music & I'm finding it pretty strange. I've never been one of those people who needs to express what's going on in their lives through music; I'm far too guarded & insular to do the old "Heart on the sleeve" bollocks. This is why I find it impossible to write songs. I've never considered myself to have "musicality", whatever that is, but I have reached the stage where I am wondering why I bother continuing to own a pile of expensive instruments that I get absolutely nothing from in the form of enjoyment or fulfillment. I've pretty much decided it's time to stop hanging on to the past & realise it's time to call it a day. Edited December 9, 2011 by RhysP Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
risingson Posted December 9, 2011 Share Posted December 9, 2011 [quote name='silddx' timestamp='1323441294' post='1463457'] Had a similar experience mate, I have changed since then, but so has he, and it's easier now, but still a source of worry and anxiety for me, and fear of feeling like I did back then, and knowing I can react to things in the way I did, I NEVER want to feel that way again. However, my musical life took off as a result of me needing the comfort of music. Also, one of my very closest friends suddenly dying in April changed me a bit. I recorded most of the bass on his album (which he'd almost finished and which we are releasing pothumously), I was basically embellishing his ideas and replacing his synth bass parts. I remember sending him the bass track for a song he wrote about his girlfriend who had donated a kidney to him a few years earlier, it was a really important song for him. I had reharmonised the second half of a part with a sax solo on it. He phoned me later on and told me the bass on that part gave him the shivers, he loved it! That made me realise I should trust my judgement and take more risks. That was also compounded by the wonderful comments I got on here about Kit's EP. I'm starting to feel like I have an identity in the way I write bass parts, and although I'm severely lacking in many areas, I am starting to believe in myself. [/quote] That's a great thing to take away from such a sad event, absolutely brilliant. It sounds terribly corny, but I do believe that listening and creating music is a great way of assimilating strong feelings that would otherwise have the ability to overwhelm and consume us. Music is never depressing to me. I hear a sad song that reminds me of a tough time and I feel strangely liberated by it. Equally I hear songs that remind me of the best of times of my life and it makes me feel great, I'm uplifted by it! Creating music is a whole different ball game all together, hearing a song you've created or helped create come together is just an unmatched feeling. Better than any therapy or drug I can think of. You should be proud of yourself that you've helped your friend to realise his music posthumously, what a great thing to have done. I must admit I've not yet had the chance to listen but as soon as I've posted this message I'll be sure to check it out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
icastle Posted December 9, 2011 Share Posted December 9, 2011 [quote name='RhysP' timestamp='1323457036' post='1463680'] I've pretty much decided it's time to stop hanging on to the past & realise it's time to call it a day. [/quote] Not sure what's been going on in your life to have caused this, but there are two certainties that you can rely on though. The first is that once you have hit the absolute rock bottom, there's nowhere to go other than up. The second is that a lack of musical satsfaction can disappear just as fast as it materialised, so by all means thin your collection of gear out, but keep something tucked away... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JPS Posted December 9, 2011 Share Posted December 9, 2011 This is a really inspiring thread. I haven't played much for months now due mainly to a lack of a band, feeling a bit sorry for myself generally, however, reading many of the above comments has made me realise just how much music means to me and what a huge part of my life (and me) playing the bass is. Time to get back on it methinks! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RhysP Posted December 9, 2011 Share Posted December 9, 2011 (edited) [quote name='icastle' timestamp='1323457847' post='1463694'] The first is that once you have hit the absolute rock bottom, there's nowhere to go other than up. [/quote] I haven't reached rock bottom yet, by my reckoning I should be arriving there round about March next year. I'm not constantly in the depths of despair - I can't allow myself to be as I've just got so much stuff to sort out before there can be any sign of things getting better. It's just that music is no longer the universal panacea for me that it once was, and to be honest with the amount of time I've invested in music over the last 32+ years I'm feeling badly let down by it. Edited December 9, 2011 by RhysP Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4-string-thing Posted December 9, 2011 Share Posted December 9, 2011 I spent most of the mid 90's feeling pretty miserable and sorry for myself (I realise now that, in comparison to some peoples problems mine were a bit petty) So, I went out, started a band and along with the guitarist/singer wrote some pretty good songs, recorded some of them and played some pretty good gigs. 15 years later, I now also feel pretty miserable, same pathetic reasons but this time round I don't have the energy or enthusiasm to start/join a band or to write anything. I can't remember the last time I even picked a bass up to play it. I very rarely even listen to music anymore (Richard Thompson is the exception) I'm with RhysP, on the verge of selling my gear and calling it a day! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
icastle Posted December 9, 2011 Share Posted December 9, 2011 [quote name='4-string-thing' timestamp='1323466117' post='1463792'] I'm with RhysP, on the verge of selling my gear and calling it a day! [/quote] Well what I said to Rhys applies just as equally to you mate. Many relationships ago I foolishly got manipulated into stopping playing for about two years. I stuck my amp in a cupboard and my bass under the bed. When she finally left, digging that gear out and playing it again was like a rainstorm after a drought - much needed, refreshing and soothing to my parched roots... Whatever life throws at me, I'll always have 'something' tucked away for when things improve. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xilddx Posted December 9, 2011 Author Share Posted December 9, 2011 [quote name='RhysP' timestamp='1323462321' post='1463755'] I haven't reached rock bottom yet, by my reckoning I should be arriving there round about March next year. I'm not constantly in the depths of despair - I can't allow myself to be as I've just got so much stuff to sort out before there can be any sign of things getting better. It's just that music is no longer the universal panacea for me that it once was, and to be honest with the amount of time I've invested in music over the last 32+ years I'm feeling badly let down by it. [/quote] Firstly mate, it's hard to predict the future and I hope March brings you love and light. Secondly, I'm fascinated to know how you think music has let you down. I only ever think, after 30 years of playing, that I let myself and music down, when I don't make magic happen through laziness, lack of ability and understanding, or through self-loathing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4-string-thing Posted December 9, 2011 Share Posted December 9, 2011 [quote name='icastle' timestamp='1323467185' post='1463808'] Well what I said to Rhys applies just as equally to you mate. Many relationships ago I foolishly got manipulated into stopping playing for about two years. I stuck my amp in a cupboard and my bass under the bed. When she finally left, digging that gear out and playing it again was like a rainstorm after a drought - much needed, refreshing and soothing to my parched roots... Whatever life throws at me, I'll always have 'something' tucked away for when things improve. [/quote] My Precision has already spent too many of its 34 years under the bed! I just don't find music inspiring anymore.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bassman Sam Posted December 9, 2011 Share Posted December 9, 2011 I'm afraid it's time for me to pack up playing also. The RA means that any time spent on bass brings on the pain too much. If I play for 10 minutes then I suffer for 3 or 4 days after. I've tried to kid myself on that I can still cut the mustard but it's plain now that I can't. Time to sell up I think. I feel sorry for the others on this thread going through bad times but I know how you feel. Playing bass has been part of my life for over 40 years and I know when I stop, I'll still get GAS, dammit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flyfisher Posted December 9, 2011 Share Posted December 9, 2011 When music stops becoming enjoyable just move on and find something else. There's no fundamental reason why it [u]has[/u] to be pursued. Agonising over such things is the route to unhappiness. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4-string-thing Posted December 9, 2011 Share Posted December 9, 2011 [quote name='flyfisher' timestamp='1323471347' post='1463839'] When music stops becoming enjoyable just move on and find something else. There's no fundamental reason why it [u]has[/u] to be pursued. Agonising over such things is the route to unhappiness. [/quote] I have other interests, but to be honest, I can't get inspired by them either! Mind you, compared to some of the previous posts, I really don't have anything to complain about.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peteb Posted December 9, 2011 Share Posted December 9, 2011 [quote name='silddx' timestamp='1323467410' post='1463810'] I only ever think, after 30 years of playing, that I let myself and music down, when I don't make magic happen through laziness, lack of ability and understanding, or through self-loathing. [/quote] To be honest mate, I think that you (and a few others here) ought to stop over-thinking things and just f**kin play and enjoy it – this particularly applies to yourslf as you obviously (unlike some of the others) can actually play! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xilddx Posted December 9, 2011 Author Share Posted December 9, 2011 [quote name='peteb' timestamp='1323472855' post='1463857'] To be honest mate, I think that you (and a few others here) ought to stop over-thinking things and just f**kin play and enjoy it – this particularly applies to yourslf as you obviously (unlike some of the others) can actually play! [/quote] Pete mate, with all respect and despite the compliment, that is such an unkind and ignorant statement that I'm having a hard time understanding why would make it, assuming you have read all the posts on this thread. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peteb Posted December 9, 2011 Share Posted December 9, 2011 (edited) [quote name='silddx' timestamp='1323473566' post='1463864'] Pete mate, with all respect and despite the compliment, that is such an unkind and ignorant statement that I'm having a hard time understanding why would make it, assuming you have read all the posts on this thread. [/quote] I don’t mean to upset you or anyone else, but I think that you and others are expecting too much from music, despite it’s obvious importance to your life (and to mine for that matter) The one time that I had anything like serious problems in my life, it had a negative impact on my playing (despite being a bit of a refuge), simply because it affected my concentration levels. I think that you should enjoy playing music simply for what it is rather than projecting any other problems you may have into it…… edit: that this a general statement and is not especially meant to relate you Edited December 9, 2011 by peteb Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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