KingPrawn Posted March 2, 2012 Posted March 2, 2012 Guitarist 1: " i was watching one of our clips the other day and i thought your bass looked in a bit of a high position" Me " Oh ok" Guitarist 2 " Yeah it just did'nt look right" Guitarist 1 " Me and guitarist 2 have been talking about it, and think you need to lower your strap" Me: " right. This would be the same strap i have used for the last three years in the same position" Guitarist 1 & 2 " Oh" " Me " Thanks for that European Guitarist directive. However i don't wish to develop curvature of the spine" " Maybe You two should raise your guitars so it looks ok on the clips " Me " Know fu** off and turn all those knobs on your amps and pedals your convinced make such a diffrence" Classic example of Bell End band mates Quote
Doctor J Posted March 2, 2012 Posted March 2, 2012 Tell them their guitars look to small, like toy guitars and that, as men, they should play bigger, manly guitars - like you. Quote
yorick Posted March 2, 2012 Posted March 2, 2012 Guitarist... How long have you been using that Orange rig in the band? Me....... Since I started in the band (2years)........................ Is it something in the water in Brum? Quote
woodster Posted March 2, 2012 Posted March 2, 2012 Singer: Whoa, Woodsy's brought the 3 grand bass to a gig! Me: Yep, same one i've been using for a year..... Nice to know I'm noticed.... Quote
steve-bbb Posted March 2, 2012 Posted March 2, 2012 [quote name='KingPrawn' timestamp='1330673101' post='1561208'] Guitarist 1: " i was watching one of our clips the other day and i thought your bass looked in a bit of a high position" Me " Oh ok" Guitarist 2 " Yeah it just did'nt look right" Guitarist 1 " Me and guitarist 2 have been talking about it, and think you need to lower your strap" Me: " right. This would be the same strap i have used for the last three years in the same position" Guitarist 1 & 2 " Oh" " Me " Thanks for that European Guitarist directive. However i don't wish to develop curvature of the spine" " Maybe You two should raise your guitars so it looks ok on the clips " Me " Know fu** off and turn all those knobs on your amps and pedals your convinced make such a diffrence" Classic example of Bell End band mates [/quote] you freely give your time and energy to people like this? Quote
Hobbayne Posted March 2, 2012 Posted March 2, 2012 While changing the battery on my stingray, Guitarist - Ooh, i never knew bass guitars ran on batteries? Me- ........(speachless).......! Quote
njr911 Posted March 2, 2012 Posted March 2, 2012 [quote name='woodster' timestamp='1330675516' post='1561239'] Singer: Whoa, Woodsy's brought the 3 grand bass to a gig! Me: Yep, same one i've been using for a year..... Nice to know I'm noticed.... [/quote] Worst "Look I've got a 3 grand bass" post ever /envy Quote
ahpook Posted March 2, 2012 Posted March 2, 2012 threads like this make me realise that there are a lot of rather dense musicians around... ...and i'm very glad i've never had to play with any of them. where the hell do you folks dig them up from ? Quote
BigRedX Posted March 2, 2012 Posted March 2, 2012 If you think that they are "bell ends" why are you still playing with them? BTW you are wearing your bass too high... ;-) Quote
Gust0o Posted March 2, 2012 Posted March 2, 2012 Just tell them yours is bigger. And it's not what you do with it which counts Quote
shizznit Posted March 2, 2012 Posted March 2, 2012 OP - I am not joking, I had an almost identical conversation with a band I joined 14yrs ago. They told me "We're a rock band...not Level 42!". I did drop the bass down to my knees as they requested and gradually started raising the height over 12 months until it was back to being tucked into my ribs again. The singer then again asked me to drop it again and I replied "Be more concerned with the pitch of your voice before thinking about appearance". Okay, I admit that was a nasty comeback, but he never asked me to lower my bass again or allowed him to criticise my appearance after I said that. Granted, the Jimmy Page look is very cool, but I just can't play well like that. The guitar player from the same band told me one day "I think you should fit LED's to all of your basses". (He was sponsored by Maverick guitars at the time and all of his guitars were built with LED’s already installed). I refused…partly because I thought it was bad enough that we had one member of the band strutting around as if he was taxiing airplanes at Heathrow, but mostly because I played Warwick basses back then and none of them had fingerboard markers. SIM's quoted me £430 per bass to install LED markers on the side and on the fingerboard. I had 4 Warwicks...that's a total of £1720! He got on my case about why I didn’t go ahead. He’s still a great mate of mine, but goodness…I could have swung at him on several occasions. Again…from the same band! Our manager approached me back stage at a gig and asked me if I had any hair on my chest. Very apprehensively I said “Not much…why?”. He replied “Well, I bought some of this liquid PVC yesterday…”. I walked away from him and didn’t speak to him until the following morning. I really enjoyed playing with that band and have a lot of fond memories, but the amount of crap I had to put up with was unbelievable. Quote
leftyhook Posted March 2, 2012 Posted March 2, 2012 More of a stupid **** this one but Drummer: "Think I 'll Have a Shandy now" Me " you sure? You've had a pint already and your driving" Drummer: "Aye, but the lemonade..." Me: " But....the beer in the shandy" Drummer: "Shandy, it's ok" Me: "Mate, it's got half a beer in it," Drummer " (after a thinking pause)...........so, If I drink 10 pints of shandy......(more thinking).......... I'll have had.........................5 pints of beer? Me: "Hello!" Drummer: " Oooh, why did you have to tell me that! All this time....." I kid you not! Quote
Raggy Posted March 2, 2012 Posted March 2, 2012 [quote name='Hobbayne' timestamp='1330681001' post='1561344'] While changing the battery on my stingray, Guitarist - Ooh, i never knew bass guitars ran on batteries? Me- ........(speachless).......! [/quote] Now that is quality Quote
woodster Posted March 2, 2012 Posted March 2, 2012 [quote name='njr911' timestamp='1330682563' post='1561373'] Worst "Look I've got a 3 grand bass" post ever /envy [/quote] Wasn't the point of my post but I'll accept it reads a little arrogant..... Quote
Oopsdabassist Posted March 2, 2012 Posted March 2, 2012 [quote name='shizznit' timestamp='1330685553' post='1561457'] Our manager approached me back stage at a gig and asked me if I had any hair on my chest. Very apprehensively I said Not much;why? He replied Well, I bought some of this liquid PVC yesterday I walked away from him and didnt speak to him until the following morning. [/quote] WTF??? Am I missing something here? Quote
mike257 Posted March 2, 2012 Posted March 2, 2012 [quote name='Oopsdabassist' timestamp='1330690490' post='1561610'] WTF??? Am I missing something here? [/quote] PVC + spare hair = instant chest rug! Quote
shizznit Posted March 2, 2012 Posted March 2, 2012 [quote name='Oopsdabassist' timestamp='1330690490' post='1561610'] WTF??? Am I missing something here? [/quote] [quote name='mike257' timestamp='1330690726' post='1561616'] PVC + spare hair = instant chest rug! [/quote] The guy was really into bondage stuff, which I found out at Salzburg airport when his bags were accidentally tagged with mine I got asked to empty the contents of one of his suitcases infront of customs! Anyway, that's another story which I am not going to furnish BC with anytime soon! That's his business and I don't judge him for it, but I refused to be dragged into that world! He once asked me to wear a collar that was garnished with 10x 6" chrome spikes, asked me to wear a gimp mask one time and suggested that I would look good in a black PVC one-piece! Vans (clothing brand) saved our bacon though. They gave us a shed load clothes to wear on stage, so he backed off a little after that. Quote
skej21 Posted March 2, 2012 Posted March 2, 2012 As bass players, we have to wear our basses high... how else will the women-folk inspect our junk and decide between us or the drummer?! Quote
christhammer666 Posted March 2, 2012 Posted March 2, 2012 not quite at the band mate stage but went to try out for a band and cos was travelling to a dodgy part of london took my old yamaha rbx374 instead of my mim precision and before i even intoroduced myself the drummers words were " you cant be in this band unless you use fender" i promptly turned on my heels and f**ked off. they are still looking for a bassist now. wonder why Quote
njr911 Posted March 2, 2012 Posted March 2, 2012 [quote name='woodster' timestamp='1330687713' post='1561522'] Wasn't the point of my post but I'll accept it reads a little arrogant..... [/quote] I took it in the spirit it was ment... My bass only cost £200..but my Gibson Hummingbird on the other hand Quote
brensabre79 Posted March 2, 2012 Posted March 2, 2012 Yep they are out there. Amazing I know. The former guitarist in our covers band (he had to go after this) was playing progressively louder and louder at his last gig with us, to the point where I couldn't even hear the drums - and he was the other side of the drums from me! "Turn it down!!!" shouted the rest of the band between songs. "I don't know how!!" eventually came the reply. I walked over to his amp, turned it down using the VOLUME knob. And we continued the set with a reasonable balance between the instruments for.. oh.. two verses then it started to creep up again. By the end of the night he was back up to excruciating level (volume on full). As the last song finished he decided to leave the chord ringing out (and feeding back) at ridiculous volume and looked me right in the eye with a big grin on his face. I calmly walked over to his amp and turned it off, picked up his coat and handed it to him. I never saw him again. Quote
JustaBass Posted March 3, 2012 Posted March 3, 2012 I used to have a couple of guitarists in my old band and both were dicks.During one gig we were setting up our gear and would often have the odd friend come along to help, this friend asked the guitarist for help picking up one of [u]his marshall stacks[/u] to put it on top of the other one.The guitarist looked at him and shouted "DO I LOOK LIKE A F..K.NG ROADIE". That particular chap didnt turn up again not surprisingly,i hate guitarists. Quote
Big_Stu Posted March 3, 2012 Posted March 3, 2012 [quote name='shizznit' timestamp='1330685553' post='1561457'] LED's .............................. I thought it was bad enough that we had one member of the band strutting around as if he was taxiing airplanes at Heathrow [/quote] Fantastic! Well that's me going to be chortling away to myself for the rest of today If I spill the varnish that I'm doing next you're in T....rouble!! Quote
LeftyBiskit Posted March 4, 2012 Posted March 4, 2012 F@$&ing singers-ours now insists that the next drummer must be EXP with B.V's as well as playing drums-----WTF iF this persists then their next bass guitarist will have to be a chuffin removal man,as well as playin the bass-feckarse Quote
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