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Another awkward band situation


ras52
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Guitarist A assembles band with Guitarist B, me and a singer. We look for a drummer, we rehearse, we record some demos with a session drummer, we look for a drummer... a year later we find a drummer, and shortly after that the singer announces that they're leaving the country. We lethargically stumble on but work committments and general fatigue mean it's hard to get in the same room at the same time and when we do it's all rather aimless.

Meanwhile, I've been writing songs that don't suit the band, and am keen to demo them and possibly hawk them to publishers. My plan is to recruit the drummer and Guitarist B - but not Guitarist A - for a brief rehearsal blitz/studio project. (I'll get a session singer in and double on keyboards myself.)

The drummer is up for this and I'm waiting to hear back from Guitarist B. My problem is when/how/what to say to Guitarist A: there's no role for him in this project, but I feel guilty that I'm taking advantage of his efforts (he found the other guys) when the project he started is foundering.

All's fair in love and war?

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Just go for it. Why do you need to tell Guitarist A about it? If it's a completely different project then it's none of his beeswax, surely? The fact that he initially introduced you to the others has nothing to do with it. It's a completely different situation.

Look at it this way. If he had introduced you to some bird you subsequently had a relationship with, you wouldn't ring him up and tell him every time you shagged her, would you?

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[quote name='discreet' timestamp='1332324612' post='1586531']
Just go for it. Why do you need to tell Guitarist A about it? If it's a completely different project then it's none of his beeswax, surely? The fact that he initially introduced you to the others has nothing to do with it. It's a completely different situation.

Look at it this way. If he had introduced you to some bird you subsequently had a relationship with, you wouldn't ring him up and tell him every time you shagged her, would you?
[/quote]

BUT if it was his bird in the first place, he would be mightily p******d off I would imagine...

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It all down to personalities.

If you think he, G A, can take it, tell him, it's always best to be open and up front. I would probably tell him anyway, there will always be something to upset him in the future if he can't understand your position.

I'm afraid the art is what you have to serve in the end, you can't compromise it.

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[quote name='discreet' timestamp='1332324612' post='1586531']
Look at it this way. If he had introduced you to some bird you subsequently had a relationship with, you wouldn't ring him up and tell him every time you shagged her, would you?
[/quote]

:lol: :lol: :lol:

I reckon that's a fair contender for quote of the year!

Back to the thread - I wouldn't be worried - the band is doing bugger all really, the fact you're showing initiative and getting on with another project is fair enough in my book.

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[quote name='Thor' timestamp='1332324890' post='1586540']
...the fact you're showing initiative and getting on with another project is fair enough...
[/quote][quote name='silddx' timestamp='1332324890' post='1586539']
...the art is what you have to serve in the end, you can't compromise it...
[/quote]

These +1000

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It's fine; you're starting a separate project with new songs. There's no reason why the original line up *couldn't* continue, it just sounds like it *won't*.

If you'd nicked the songs, that would be different, but you haven't. That said, it might be worth explaining the new project to guitarist A explicitly, so he knows where he stands.

Bands are like 4 way relationships. Gigs are sex, and rehearsals are anything from a romantic walk on the beach to a weekend with the mother in law. O_o

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[quote name='discreet' timestamp='1332324612' post='1586531']
Look at it this way. If he had introduced you to some bird you subsequently had a relationship with, you wouldn't ring him up and tell him every time you shagged her, would you?
[/quote]

But that's what i normally do...
just me?

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I always think it's best to be straight with people, so tell "guitarist A" you are doing the second band. As you are not doing very little with that band he should understand. Just tell him you aim to continue with both bands so long as you all agree. If he has a bottom lip and walks, you are not really losing anything because as you said, you are doing very little work anyway. It could even kick start the first band into being more active if "guitarist A" thinks you all might pull the plug.

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[quote name='discreet' timestamp='1332324612' post='1586531']
Look at it this way. If he had introduced you to some bird you subsequently had a relationship with, you wouldn't ring him up and tell him every time you shagged her, would you?
[/quote]

Oh hell.
That's another social faux pas I need to correct then... :(

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I've had this in the past where I've wanted to work with other musicians alongside an existing band.
I always make a point now of being upfront and honest and explain that I reserve the right to work with other musicians as I see fit.

I'd be inclined to take the gentle approach and just explain that this is a project you want to work on and that it doesn't affect your current level of commitment to the band.

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Just tell the guy that you have a new project going, you need guy A and guy B and you are trying a few things to make them work.
He might not like it, but you have at least told him..and put him in the picture.

You might also throw him a bone and say you might like to call him if the project requires it.
Being left out will more likely to hurt his feelings, more than anything.

Edited by JTUK
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Thanks for the feedback guys... and the reminder that I owe some people phone calls regarding lady friends past and present :D

I've sent a message suggesting we might focus on working towards demo-ing our unrecorded material as a short-term project, even if the band isn't going to be an ongoing concern... and slipped in that I'll be doing similar with my own material on the side. How devious!

The band's already had a crack at a couple of my songs, with mixed results... Guitarist A is really a basic riffs guy, and is fine with material he's come up with himself, and hard work with anything else! However he's the one with the "vision" who got us together in the first place (conversely, Guitarist B is versatile but very backward in coming forward . . . hang on, I must stop before I describe myself as "luke-warm water"!). So I guess I feel sorry for him that it's not working out.

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[quote name='LiamPodmore' timestamp='1332341184' post='1586933']
My theory: Don't tell him, but if he asks, then be truthful, and if he asks why you didn't tell him, use the age old answer of you didn't ask...

Works in most situations (Or that's probably just for me actually)

Liam
[/quote]
Does that work when you're shagging your mate's bird too? :o

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