chrismuzz Posted May 19, 2012 Share Posted May 19, 2012 Start bringing your own family, friends, goldfish, etc. join the party! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
discreet Posted May 19, 2012 Share Posted May 19, 2012 [quote name='3V17C' timestamp='1337436789' post='1659971'] ...they also brought the family dog!... [/quote][quote name='skankdelvar' timestamp='1337437181' post='1659980'] Report them. Report them [i]right now[/i]. Poor old Rover. How entirely disgraceful. [/quote] Now this is far, far, worse than any possible cruelty to children of course and I have already contacted the RSPCA. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skankdelvar Posted May 19, 2012 Share Posted May 19, 2012 Of course, the logical outcome would be to stage all public performances round at their home. Mind you, they'd need to get a license, so maybe it would just be easier to move the house from gig to gig. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flyfisher Posted May 19, 2012 Share Posted May 19, 2012 As ever, Skank solves the problem. As for the dog, as long as it's well-behaved I imagine it would be less trouble than the kids! Anyway, there are precedents for taking a dog to work . . . . . http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-norfolk-17814965 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
12stringbassist Posted May 19, 2012 Share Posted May 19, 2012 From reading the first page of this, I'd suggest that the guy whose name you go out under meets the cost of you travelling separately. If Social Services got wind of the fact of how these kids are being treated [i](missing a part of each week at school to be 'home schooled' which I doubt happens),[/i] there would be huge fallout. It will probably happen. Best to suggest that he meets your travel expenses, so that the family can have proper time together without you all being in their way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thunderpaws Posted May 19, 2012 Share Posted May 19, 2012 Your band members are deluded. They have massive misconceptions on what is normal. I'd leave and I'd tell social services. I feel like I should! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starless Posted May 19, 2012 Share Posted May 19, 2012 [quote name='3V17C' timestamp='1337158010' post='1656233'] Fingers crossed its only going to be a matter of time before the parents realise that its more trouble than its worth having the kids there......... ........(we've just been booked for a BBC Maida Vale session and are getting some dates in Europe etc) so I don't want to shoot myself in the foot over this issue! Will have to see how it goes!!.... [/quote] Apologies to the OP, but if the 'parents' are complete a***holes, then it has obviously spread to the rest of the band. Let me get this straight. Small kids are being left in a van outside a pub or similar, locked in the van? or unlocked in case they need to escape from some bad situation, which also includes any passing drunk/paedo etc trying to get in. This kind of situation has prison sentence written all over it, but owing to an upcoming session at the BBC and some European dates these kids are going to coninue to be subjected to this treatment with no argument from any other band members? Wow, fame at any price eh? I just hope I never meet the OP, the urge to punch him in the face for his part in the abuse of innocent kids would be just too strong. Unbelievable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Judo Chop Posted May 20, 2012 Share Posted May 20, 2012 (edited) [quote name='Starless' timestamp='1337468553' post='1660635'] Wow, fame at any price eh? I just hope I never meet the OP, the urge to punch him in the face for his part in the abuse of innocent kids would be just too strong. Unbelievable. [/quote] Don't be a keyboard warrior, you'll just make yourself look like a tit. You wouldn't do a thing if you met the OP, and you're not convincing anyone otherwise with your anonymous internet hard man act. Unbelievable. Edited May 20, 2012 by Jack Cahalane Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skankdelvar Posted May 20, 2012 Share Posted May 20, 2012 (edited) [quote name='Starless' timestamp='1337468553' post='1660635'] I just hope I never meet the OP, the urge to punch him in the face for his part in the abuse of innocent kids would be just too strong.[/quote] We don't post that sort of stuff here. It is not acceptable. The hypotheticals spinning off this thread are putting the OP in for some serious flak. Perhaps it should be wound up. [color=#ffffff].[/color] Edited May 20, 2012 by skankdelvar Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrismuzz Posted May 20, 2012 Share Posted May 20, 2012 (edited) [quote name='Starless' timestamp='1337468553' post='1660635'] Apologies to the OP, but if the 'parents' are complete a***holes, then it has obviously spread to the rest of the band. Let me get this straight. Small kids are being left in a van outside a pub or similar, locked in the van? or unlocked in case they need to escape from some bad situation, which also includes any passing drunk/paedo etc trying to get in. This kind of situation has prison sentence written all over it, but owing to an upcoming session at the BBC and some European dates these kids are going to coninue to be subjected to this treatment with no argument from any other band members? Wow, fame at any price eh? I just hope I never meet the OP, the urge to punch him in the face for his part in the abuse of innocent kids would be just too strong. Unbelievable. [/quote] He doesn't like the situation at all but not being their parent himself doesn't know what to do about it, hence why this thread started in the first place. If you think he deserves a punch in the face for that, I think that makes YOU the arsehole. Please don't now threaten me with violence over the internet, because I haven't got a spare pair of boxers handy for when I inevitably sh*t myself Edited May 20, 2012 by chrismuzz Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steve-bbb Posted May 20, 2012 Share Posted May 20, 2012 Notwithstanding all of the above... Consider this Does the financial hit you and the other backing musicians are taking (for altruistic reasons) equate to approximately the costs of having the missus and the nippers freeloading the bandwagon? If so then it doesn't take the brains of a bishop to figure out who is paying for the family holiday Hope you have better luck with your next musical venture Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steve-bbb Posted May 20, 2012 Share Posted May 20, 2012 [i]ie this does not mean your backing band should work for free just so you can bring the wife and kids along[/i] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prime_BASS Posted May 20, 2012 Share Posted May 20, 2012 I don't understand where the hostilities have come from in the last few posts but it's totally uncalled for. As I read right the OP is a parent........... To address the issue you need to speak to the singer/guitarist, it is his band agfter all and you are all riding under his name, but you also have to point out the actual issue and facts that it isn't working bringing kids 'to work'. Remind him it's in his best interests to seperate family and band. If you get a negative or violent reaction then it's time to call it quits, do the honorable thing explian the issue why you are leaving and that you'll stick around for any gigs that have already been booked. [quote name='Starless' timestamp='1337468553' post='1660635'] I just hope I never meet the OP, the urge to punch him in the face for his part in the abuse of innocent kids would be just too strong. [/quote] I don't think any of us here are fully aware of what the situation is like at the OP's singer's home. For all we know they could be suffering financially(wouldn't be surprised) a\nd thats why the wife comes and brings the kids. They aren't his kids and I don't see this as any kind of abuse. Maybe neglect that may or may not be detrimental to the kids in the future, but it isn't fualt of the OP at all. He isn't asking that they come alonmg, or refusing to play if they don't. Don't get so wound up for someone else's mess up. I'm only 22 so can't really speak as a parent, but a kid? maybe. If I was them kids I'd be loving it, days off school? hells yeah! But then I wouldn't be aware of the short falls I'd be subjected to in the future. [quote name='Jack Cahalane' timestamp='1337476430' post='1660692'] Don't be a keyboard warrior, you'll just make yourself look like a tit. [/quote] Not needed friend. The OP hopefully knows what to do know to address the issue and hopefully they follow through and then give us an update. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johngh Posted May 20, 2012 Share Posted May 20, 2012 OK lets cut out the internet hardman stuff. Threats to other members will not be tollerated. Starless, you have a PM. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Judo Chop Posted May 20, 2012 Share Posted May 20, 2012 [quote name='Prime_BASS' timestamp='1337497743' post='1660757'] Not needed friend. The OP hopefully knows what to do know to address the issue and hopefully they follow through and then give us an update. [/quote] What's not needed? I wasn't directing that at the OP? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrismuzz Posted May 20, 2012 Share Posted May 20, 2012 [quote name='Prime_BASS' timestamp='1337497743' post='1660757'] As I read right the OP is a parent........... [/quote] Just read back,and this is probably in response to when I said "[color=#282828][font=helvetica, arial, sans-serif]He doesn't like the situation at all but not being a parent himself doesn't know what to do about it"... What I meant to say was "not being the kids' parent"! Makes much more sense now![/font][/color] [font="helvetica, arial, sans-serif"][color="#282828"]Anyways, that went a bit weird for a moment there [/color][/font][color=#282828][font=helvetica, arial, sans-serif] [/font][/color] Hope to find out what happens next! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3V17C Posted May 20, 2012 Author Share Posted May 20, 2012 [quote name='Starless' timestamp='1337468553' post='1660635'] Wow, fame at any price eh? I just hope I never meet the OP, the urge to punch him in the face for his part in the abuse of innocent kids would be just too strong. Unbelievable. [/quote] WTF? ..whats more 'unbelievable' is your attitude right here. Yes the situation is not ideal, but never, despite my feelings on the situation, at any point did i say the parents were a***holes and being a parent myself I would of course step in if anything really bad was happening towards their kids and the matter is of course going to be raised within the band. The whole point of this post was just to highlight the absurdity of them bringing the kids on the road and the awkwardness of us, the band members, complaining about it without risking our position in the band. 'The abuse of innocent kids' as you call it is far too strong a way of putting it! I don't know who you think you are and I don't normally rise to these things but you've pissed me off if I'm honest so anytime you want to meet face to face feel free to bring it on. I guarantee you would not come out on top. Mods... feel free to close this thread. I wanted some genuine advice/thoughts on how to handle the kids/band situation which of course I have recieved from the usual helpful contributors along with the usual dose of humour. I didn't want or expect personal abuse or threats of violence from some idiotic forum troll. Starless? Brainless more like. Idiot. C Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrismuzz Posted May 20, 2012 Share Posted May 20, 2012 LOL Nice response dude! He's had a PM from a mod anyways so I doubt he'll make a tit of himself on this thread any more. I don't wanna see the thread closed, I'm too intrigued as to what happens next! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3V17C Posted May 20, 2012 Author Share Posted May 20, 2012 cheers dude. As it goes the bandleader mentioned the other night that he's not been playing to his full potential the last few gigs which coincidentally ties in with the amount of times the kids have come along so we're going to suggest that its maybe the extra pressure of having the kids there thats causing his playing to suffer. I think that may make him realise its not such a great idea and is a way of raising the issue without making it personal. We've got no gigs now for a month anyways so hopefully things may get resolved. In summary, they're not bad kids, or bad parents but there is a just a question mark over the wisdom of bringing them on the road. peace C Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daz Posted May 20, 2012 Share Posted May 20, 2012 Maybe talk to other band members about moving on as a unit, if this isn't stopped, But now wifey is involved to sooth singers fevered brow thats not likely is it. Id just go if its stopped being fun. sounds like you are accomplished musicians who shouldnt have too much trouble getting it back together. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gust0o Posted May 20, 2012 Share Posted May 20, 2012 It's moments like these that my Scouse accent was made for: calm down, calm down. Now chin up, people. This is Basschat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
discreet Posted May 20, 2012 Share Posted May 20, 2012 [quote name='Gust0o' timestamp='1337557873' post='1662070'] ...Now chin up, people. This is Basschat... [/quote] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThomBassmonkey Posted May 21, 2012 Share Posted May 21, 2012 If the kids start coming to gigs again, just sit down and have a proper chat about it. Tell them what you've said here and that you're worried that if the kids are along, the focus isn't on the band as it should be. There's no need to call their parenting into question if you think they'll react badly (regardless of if it is questionable). Gigs aren't suitable places for children, they're loud, boring (during soundchecks/before playing), there's no way someone that's playing the gig can keep a proper eye on them and leaving them in the car isn't suitable for that length of time, as already pointed out, if they're locked in and something happens, it could be a disaster, if they're not locked in, someone else could get in and that could be just as bad. If you really have to force your hand, try finding out what the actual laws on leaving children in cars are, if they are doing something illegal, just point out to them that all it would take was one call to the plod by a passer by (remembering that they're in a public place) saying "hey, I've been at this pub 2 hours and there's been some kids stuck in a car unattended all this time" and they'd have social services on their case right away. I don't know their specific circumstances but often home-schooled children have had involvement from social services to some extent anyway, it's unlikely they'd want more trouble with them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LukeFRC Posted May 21, 2012 Share Posted May 21, 2012 Thing is, I was thinking it was just a wee local band doing pub gigs and the like. Which I could kinda understand bringing the kids too, (though a bit daft) But you are talking about playing some bigger gigs, touring europe. And I wonder how it will all work then- it's possibly a good idea to get it sorted before it all takes off and contracts etc make it harder to get out of Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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