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Cant Take A Compliment


Hobbayne
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If someone says something nice to you it seems only sensible to thank them - regardless of whether or not you agree with them. File under "mmm, this is delicious" and "thank you for the lovely gift, you really shouldn't have".

I always thank them for the compliment and thank them for coming and say how glad I am they enjoyed the show. If it's an actual bass player you sometimes get into a chinwag about gear etc. which is always good fun.

I may not be the world's best bass player (and don't suppose I ever will), but at that particular point in time I was the best bass player playing on that stage ;)

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[quote name='bluejay' timestamp='1339502094' post='1689324']
It's instrument-related only in the sense that bassists tend not to be over-confident arses like - erm - some other musicians ;)
Lack of [b]excessive[/b] confidence is not a bad thing, and does not equate [b]total[/b] lack of confidence.
[/quote]

I agree, but IMO someone who cant simply say "thanks", lacks basic confidence, regardless of "excessive", "over confident" or the instrument in question. You dont have to be an egotist to say thanks.

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[quote name='neepheid' timestamp='1339502252' post='1689330']
If someone says something nice to you it seems only sensible to thank them - regardless of whether or not you agree with them. File under "mmm, this is delicious" and "thank you for the lovely gift, you really shouldn't have".

I always thank them for the compliment and thank them for coming and say how glad I am they enjoyed the show. If it's an actual bass player you sometimes get into a chinwag about gear etc. which is always good fun.

I may not be the world's best bass player (and don't suppose I ever will), but at that particular point in time I was the best bass player playing on that stage ;)
[/quote]


+ 100 !!

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[quote name='Coilte' timestamp='1339502435' post='1689335']
I agree, but IMO someone who cant simply say "thanks", lacks basic confidence, regardless of "excessive", "over confident" or the instrument in question. You dont have to be an egotist to say thanks.
[/quote]

Yes, but there are ways of expressing gratefulness for a compliment even without uttering a word. All a bit too subtle for someone, but not for others.

Also, we are talking about a special situation in this case, I think, not quite the same as giving a presentation at the office etc., as music is art, and isn't "measurable" in the same way as other kinds of performance.

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[quote name='neepheid' timestamp='1339502252' post='1689330']
If someone says something nice to you it seems only sensible to thank them - regardless of whether or not you agree with them. File under "mmm, this is delicious" and "thank you for the lovely gift, you really shouldn't have".

I always thank them for the compliment and thank them for coming and say how glad I am they enjoyed the show. If it's an actual bass player you sometimes get into a chinwag about gear etc. which is always good fun.

I may not be the world's best bass player (and don't suppose I ever will), but at that particular point in time I was the best bass player playing on that stage ;)
[/quote]

Great post. Wise words. On the rare occassions that i am singled out for praise i thank the person sincerely and tell them that they are a most excellent judge of ability.

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[quote name='bluejay' timestamp='1339502683' post='1689337']
Yes, but there are ways of expressing gratefulness for a compliment even without uttering a word. All a bit too subtle for someone, but not for others.

Also, we are talking about a special situation in this case, I think, not quite the same as giving a presentation at the office etc., as music is art, and isn't "measurable" in the same way as other kinds of performance.
[/quote]

Again, I respect your opinion. However, I still cant get my head around someone who cant simply [b]SAY [/b]thanks.

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I love compliments! I had a few after my little gigs with Dik. I think they were more along the lines of 'well done you for standing up and giving it a go even though you clearly can only play 2 notes'. Nevertheless I lapped them up.

I always try to give compliments after gigs, plays etc that I have really enjoyed. I know it takes a lot of hard work and bottle to get up and give a good performance of any kind.

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[quote name='Coilte' timestamp='1339500947' post='1689292']
IMO, when someone gets a compliment, replying by saying "this was not right/that was not great", somehow throws the compliment back in the face of the giver. It is actually saying, "your opinion is wrong". A lot easier and friendlier to simply say "thanks".
[/quote]

Yep. This.

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[quote name='Coilte' timestamp='1339502966' post='1689344']
Again, I respect your opinion. However, I still cant get my head around someone who cant simply [b]SAY [/b]thanks.
[/quote]

Because some people can't say what they don't mean :)

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[quote name='Coilte' timestamp='1339502966' post='1689344']
Again, I respect your opinion. However, I still cant get my head around someone who cant simply [b]SAY [/b]thanks.
[/quote]

But we ARE in agreement - sorry for not being clear enough. I'm just saying that being unable to say thanks in this case usually isn't as rude or awkward as in other social situations.

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[quote name='charic' timestamp='1339503140' post='1689350']
Because some people can't say what they don't mean :)
[/quote]

As in "What? Of course I was fan-frigging-tastic on stage, how dare you even assume I could ever be otherwise?" :D Doesn't sound like something a bass player would usually say, but does sound like some singers and some lead guitarists!

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[quote name='bluejay' timestamp='1339503260' post='1689357']
I'm just saying that being unable to say thanks in this case usually isn't as rude or awkward as in other social situations.
[/quote]


Possibly, but regardless of the situation, a person should be able to thank someone in [b]any [/b]situation.

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[quote name='seashell' timestamp='1339502970' post='1689345']
I love compliments! I had a few after my little gigs with Dik. I think they were more along the lines of 'well done you for standing up and giving it a go even though you clearly can only play 2 notes'. Nevertheless I lapped them up.
[/quote]

Well, Mr Guru is hardly shy and retiring with a winsome voice, so it says something that they actually managed to hear you :D

Anyway, what's a compliment?

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[quote name='bluejay' timestamp='1339503501' post='1689362']
As in "What? Of course I was fan-frigging-tastic on stage, how dare you even assume I could ever be otherwise?" :D Doesn't sound like something a bass player would usually say, but does sound like some singers and some lead guitarists!
[/quote]

Nope as in "I would say thanks... but I'm not in agreement"

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[quote name='tauzero' timestamp='1339503953' post='1689372']
Well, Mr Guru is hardly shy and retiring with a winsome voice, so it says something that they actually managed to hear you :D

[/quote]

Ha ha - maybe they couldn't hear me, and that's why they imagined I was good :lol:

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I usually say "Thanks, glad you liked it. Thanks for coming. Are you a bass player?"

Then get into a massive argument over why I don't play a fender and whether the second note of the fourth bar in the third song should have been an E or a G#.

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[quote name='TimR' timestamp='1339504648' post='1689389']
I usually say "Thanks, glad you liked it. Thanks for coming. Are you a bass player?"

Then get into a massive argument over why I don't play a fender and whether the second note of the fourth bar in the third song should have been an E or a G#.
[/quote]

Best post in this thread BY FAR! :D :lol: :P

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Ha! So it's not just me then. I had two people compliment me after the last gig - one was the sound guy saying my bass sounded really good and the other was the bass player in another band on the bill, who I had replaced when he went off to form his own band.

Since I'm never entirely happy with my playing I was really dead chuffed but could only thing of saying "thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed it".

Must be a British reserve thing. :lol:

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