Inappropiate Venues

[coasterbass]

I got thinking about this following a comment by davebass on another thread. Have you ever turned up for a gig and immediately thought 'we really shouldn't be doing this gig', or to put it more accurately, 'how do you expect a band to play in there??'

I'll start with one:

A couple of years ago we were hired to play a gig up north which was billed as a charity ball. The venue address was given as 'The Barn', on xxxxx Farm. We're travelling up from London so there was no chance to check the venue beforehand.
We were also told that there was a chance of more gigs if we put on a good show.

So... I called up a local PA company and requested a rig, suitable of playing a venue called 'The Barn'. I believe I also mentioned that it was a 'showcase' for our band in the area and that we'd be rebooking the PA company if things went well.

We turned up on the day to find the PA company already unloading, and looking slightly andry/bemused.

It very quickly transpired that the description of 'The Barn' was a pseudo-middle-class description of someone's conservatory on the back of their house. It measured approx 10m x 5m at best, and contained everything you'd expect in someone's front room.

The PA company had gone slightly overboard and had turned up with the rig used the night before at Nottingham Rock City. It was a 30kw Martin Rig with 4x 12foot towers. The Midas Desk they had brought with them was approx 12ft in itself!!

Needless to say, most of the kit got left in the truck, but some was unavoidable including the 20" diameter cable snakes : ) The Midas Desk they had brought with them was approx 12ft in itself!!

So, the moral of that story is to always ask for dimensions before you book the PA!!

[jakenewmanbass]

I've done several gigs at ice rinks....
simply wrong in every way.

[Jase]

What was the weather like? Could've done an outdoor gig if it was fine Seriously though, I bet that was a tad awkward...did you play the gig?

[coasterbass]

Yeah we did it.
The audience were plastered and kept tripping over stuff.
In the end I think we just had the monitors on and no FOH !!

Despite the fact that we'd cut our fee as it was a charity gig they announced at the end that they'd actually made no money for charity because everyone had drunk too much free booze. Delightful.

[ahpook]

a band i was in years ago played metroland at the metrocentre once.

that was weird...massive PA, kids on fun rides...and a bunch of us crusties playing...

Edited April 24, 2008 by ahpook

[chris_b]

A wedding... when you are a Chicago Blues Band!
I've done several "front rooms" with the acoustic duo, where you are ignored by everyone.

[BOD2]

Just before leaving school, our school band hired a venue for a gig and disco. All looked well until we arrived in the afternoon and discovered a massive sklight above the dancefloor. This being June meant that it wouldn't get dark outside until after 11 - no darkness = no atmosphere = crap gig.

We managed to blag a tarpaulin from the school janitor but there then followed the farce of three clumsy 17-year-olds mucking about on open roof with an antiquated skylight and tarpaulin. How we didn't end up falling through the glass I have no idea as we didn't have a clue waht we were doing.

But it worked and the gig was a success. We couldn't understand the strange looks and comments we were getting, though, until someone pointed out that the venue was also the official Gay meeting place for the city !

[Bilbo]

Prisons - I was playing at HMP Latchmere House the day that the Twin Towers fell - the PRISONERS called for a two minute silence before we had the night of our lives. There was a band made up of staff and prisoners that ROCKED and their singers were the best!

If you ever get an offer to play a prison, do it!

[ped]

Hehe great thread. Keep those stories coming.

[Thunderthumbs]

[quote name='ahpook' post='184417' date='Apr 24 2008, 11:45 AM']a band i was in years ago played metroland at the metrocentre once.

that was weird...massive PA, kids on fun rides...and a bunch of us crusties playing...[/quote]
I had a similar one years ago at Pontins in Morecambe.

Booked to do an afternoon show.

When we got there, we found out it was for an annual get together of under 11 football teams from all across the north of England.

Spent most of the afternoon watching kids making themselves sick through running in circles on the dancefloor, or taking the knees out of their trousers sliding across in. That, and fighting the onslaught of flying toffee wrappers.

Also did one in a church hall playing to a room full of pensioners just one or two breaths away from meeting their maker. We were asked to turn down so many times, it got to the point where I couldn't hear myself play. Pointless being there.

[MacDaddy]

I've played support to strippers twice. Once for lady strippers, and once for the Dream Boys.

Can't really get much more wrong

[Huge Hands]

[quote name='ahpook' post='184417' date='Apr 24 2008, 11:45 AM']a band i was in years ago played metroland at the metrocentre once.

that was weird...massive PA, kids on fun rides...and a bunch of us crusties playing...[/quote]

As a teenager, playing drums in both a church band and it's naughty spin off soul group, we regulary got to play the "town squares" in the Metrocentre, i.e. outside House of Fraser and C&A (as they were then, haven't lived up there for over 12 years, so not sure any more!)

They would either be church dos, or charity fairs (where we would be used to pull the crowds in).

The first bad one was when the church group had turned up to a regular Mothering Sunday service, but unbeknownst to us, as it was the first one after the Dunblane tragedy, the Bishop of Durham turned up to do a remembrance service along with the local media. I couldn't hear anything due to the poor PA and crazy acoustics, so was trying my best to keep with the band and not have a blazing row with them during the obviously sombre occasion. I remember my bass drum made it onto that night's news, but not me.

The second was when, as the soul group, we were trying to pull a crowd so a mental health charity could get people over and be interested in their cause. Unfortunately, while playing our faux Commitments numbers, one of the charity's, erm, benefitees(?) decided to dance to the music in the middle of the square.

At one point, it looked like the whole Metrocentre had stopped shopping and come over to laugh at this poor lady's antics. It was the largest crowd I have ever played to, but it was also the most embarrassing situation I have been in. When we stopped, and the laughing died down, I just remembered stunned silence, apart from the noise of popcorn bouncing off my toms, which some little urchins were dropping from the upstairs balcony.

[Galilee]

Not really a venue story, but years ago I played in a thrash band who were booked to play a music pub in Norwich that we'd played many times before. Due to some misunderstanding with the local newspaper, the clientele were expecting a popular Elvis impersonator to appear on stage. Most inappropriate and unappreciative audience ever!

[johnnylager]

Waterloovile social club. Like bloody Phoenix Nights, but scarier. Until the guiarist pointed out that I was probaly the scariest looking bloke in there. We then made a small child cry and were asked to turn down and finish up early. They like covers bands (apparently), but the sh*te we play wasn't the most popular.

Edited April 24, 2008 by johnnylager

[Kiwi]

God, I have some stories. Luckily we usually have pretty classy punters, the sort where I don't worry too much about leaving gear unsupervised.

Worst venue was this one:

[url="http://www.thewappingproject.com/"]http://www.thewappingproject.com/[/url]

I've been there already in the past for some corporate events but we had a couple of lawyers who wanted to book us for their wedding at this place. The lady who runs it is very particular about how she likes to do things and we couldn't use the raised plinth in the centre because she said it was used for tables. (This is a private booking, mind so the restaurant area is essentially being booked out completely). Instead we were each expected to stand on the bits of machinery and balconies like museum exhibits. How we were expected to hear ourselves and how we were expected to compensate for the cave like acoustics wasn't at all clear.

We said to the clients that the only way we could make this work was by hiring a completely wireless, in ear monitoring set up which would also require us to get custom molds fitted for everyone so that we could hear ourselves. Plus there were health and safety concerns if we were at risk of falling off the machinery for one reason or another. We ended up refunding their deposit in the end because out of good conscience we didn't feel that the gig was going to be a success, even if they'd coughed up for the in ear monitoring.

However, we're playing this place in a couple of weeks time which will probably be the most fantastic and stunning venue we've played yet - any guesses?

No cheating now!

[Huge Hands]

[quote name='Crazykiwi' post='184512' date='Apr 24 2008, 01:56 PM']- any guesses? [/quote]
By the window shape - is it the Gherkin in London?

[Rich]

Give that man a coconut

With my old blues/rock trio (god I miss that band), I played at a 10-pin bowling alley once. That's 'once' as in, 'never ever [i]ever[/i] [i][u]ever[/u][/i] again while I still have breath in my poor knackered old body'.

[queenofthedepths]

I've played at a local special school a couple of times, with the kids joining in on a few nursery rhymes... it is quite strange, but very rewarding to see them enjoying themselves

[BOD2]

[quote name='Crazykiwi' post='184512' date='Apr 24 2008, 01:56 PM']Instead we were each expected to stand on the bits of machinery and balconies like museum exhibits.[/quote]

Don't you just love these "artistic type" event organisers.

[Huge Hands]

[quote name='Rich' post='184515' date='Apr 24 2008, 02:11 PM']Give that man a coconut [/quote]

Was I right? Is that all? I was hoping, at the very least, to have won one of CK's Musicmans??????

Let me guess, a bumper sticker, mug and signed Basschat t-shirt?

Edited April 24, 2008 by Huge Hands

[Kiwi]

[quote name='Huge Hands' post='184520' date='Apr 24 2008, 02:16 PM']Was I right? Is that all? I was hoping, at the very least, to have won one of CK's Musicmans??????

Let me guess, a bumper sticker, mug and signed Basschat t-shirt? [/quote]
LOL, nice try. If you're in the vicinity of West London, you're certainly welcome to pop around and have a go on them. But yes, its the Gherkin. The load in is going to be very interesting - mostly via express lifts I suspect.

How about a free jar of advocado hummous instead?

[bassfunk]

[quote name='queenofthedepths' post='184516' date='Apr 24 2008, 02:12 PM']I've played at a local special school a couple of times, with the kids joining in on a few nursery rhymes... it is quite strange, but very rewarding to see them enjoying themselves [/quote]

I did the same thing. The singer in my old band got us a booking at a specials school's end of year party. We turned up and played our set (during which many of the students wandered on stage to hand us half eaten bits of food etc) Then at the end they came and asked us to 'play something sexy' for the fashion show the students were putting on. The band looked at me so I played a slow funky line a bit like the one the band play in from dusk till dawn. We found it hard to finish as we were all laughing so hard at all the kids walking the wrong direction or just standing in the middle of the 'catwalk'. It was very rewarding though and a lot of fun.

[Kiwi]

[quote name='bassfunk' post='184529' date='Apr 24 2008, 02:32 PM']I did the same thing. The singer in my old band got us a booking at a specials school's end of year party. We turned up and played our set (during which many of the students wandered on stage to hand us half eaten bits of food etc) Then at the end they came and asked us to 'play something sexy' for the fashion show the students were putting on. The band looked at me so I played a slow funky line a bit like the one the band play in from dusk till dawn. We found it hard to finish as we were all laughing so hard at all the kids walking the wrong direction or just standing in the middle of the 'catwalk'. It was very rewarding though and a lot of fun.[/quote]
We have one coming up next week for special needs kids, Downs Syndrome I think. Its a charity thing so we're doing it for nothing but unfortunately I can't make it. Shame really, they're very entertaining when they dance and they're having a good time as well which is what its all about for us.

[coasterbass]

Another favourite gig of mine was a wedding we did a few years back.

We turned up to find the venue was in the back garden of a large private house, in a marquee.
No problem there you might think, until we asked where the power was...

"What power?" was the answer. They had 1x 4way trailing the 25m out from the house that was running the lights. Apparently the notion that the band they had hired might have electrical equipment hadn't entered the planning process.

Ever resourceful, our plucky PA hire guy (who had 'studied electrics') volunteers a solution. He ended up disconnecting the power from the kitchen oven (cos its a higher power rating) and running a tail across the lawn to the marquee. About 2hrs work i believe.

Needless to say the caterers were not happy.

[tauzero]

[quote name='bilbo230763' post='184467' date='Apr 24 2008, 12:48 PM']Prisons - I was playing at HMP Latchmere House the day that the Twin Towers fell - the PRISONERS called for a two minute silence before we had the night of our lives. There was a band made up of staff and prisoners that ROCKED and their singers were the best![/quote]
I played on Telethon '90 and the band before us were a prison band called Inside Out.

Apparently when they got back to the prison, they were no longer a complete band. I'm not sure whether the departure of some members was due to musical differences.