Great embarrassing Gigs of our time...

[Chop]

Hi All

Thought it might be interesting to find out how gigs have been cocked up by ill advised attempts to manage image in the past... here goes


Mid 80's got a gig at one of the proper Oxford Uni's student unions (won't say which one). We were a 4 piece band doing 90% our own stuff, in a 60's / 70's rock stylie. No synths ! As this was a good gig for us with a planned 300 paying students we thought we ought to try to look the part....so decided group raybans would be a suitable look for the first time.
Now, soundcheck with the lights on, great.
Gig starts, lights drop, can't see a bloody thing. Blunder across stage to warm greeting applause, Kick over bass on stand, kick mike off stage, miss cues for first number. Cool image over, Raybans on floor immediately !

Interestingly, the guitarist at the time thinks it ended up as the best gig we played, I thought it was one of the worst.



What have you got horribly wrong?

Chop

[john_the_bass]

first (and last gig) at the Attik in Leicester before it closed down. 1st we were supposed to be kit sharing, but the band we followed packed up their drums and fecked off. 2nd Guitarist Andy tuned his guitar - he's got a korg chromatic tuner only he'd recalibrated it accidently to about 458hz concert pitch and tuned his guitars to it. He was about a quarter tone out with the rest of the band - i could tell that there was something wrong but I wasn't quite sure as we were playing in a funny alcove thing with the sound bouncing round. then, andy breaks a string (fairly regular occurrence as he battered his guitars), switches guitar mid song only there is camo netting on the [low] ceiing of the stage, which the guitar gets stuck in and dangles for the rest of the song.

Dreadful

[Crikey!]

I get leads crossed with the guitarist pretty regularly, one time it happened though when the guitarist snapped a string, he told me and the drummer to keep playing.

so because he'd snapped a string the stage manager ran on with a spare guitar (efficient!) i didnt notice, jumped across the drum riser, took the guys hat off, pulled my lead out, strap came off, when i landed i swung round and knocked the mic stand over and then got cramp in both my feet.

then the spare guitar was out of tune and we had to spend 5 minutes of our set writing "the tuning song"

best gig ever.

other than that just been things like cutting your hands open and bleeding through the set...


oh and the guitarist decided to tell the crowd that he'd "strapped a sning"

its lucky we don't take ourselves too seriously.

[acidbass]

Went on stage for the first song at my first ever gig in front of 400 people.

First song consisted of an instrumental lasting 3 minutes, with no bass for the first 2 minutes.

When it's my cue to come in, NO SOUND COMES OUT!

I have no idea what's happening, the soundman goes nuts, I continue to mime my part anyway despite nothing coming out.

Flute player goes over to my amp (which is side stage) and fiddles about, only to realise that the jack lead wasn't plugged in fully! The bass comes on with about 3 notes left to play and the audience cheers!

OH THE EMBARRASSMENT!

[Pikefloyd]

I had a gig with my old band quite a few years ago, it was a school fete. One of the band members had a friend of a friend on the PTA or something like that. It was an outdoor gig so we asked if they could get us a trailer to play off the back of. You know the sort where the side opens up. This would hopefully make the sound a bit more directional.

We turned up and we basically had a scaffold truck with no sides, we may as well have had no trailer at all! We were also concerned about rain and said we wouldn't be able to play if it was raining. The day was a bit showery but we took the chance, and despite one downpoor between sound check and the gig where we scrambled for plastic sheets etc it stayed relatively dry.

Obviously being outdoors everything was cranked up to max, and despite the massive chain of extension cables there were no power problems!

Behind us we had a fire engine parked up, the obligatory school fete visit from the Fire Brigade, every minute or so during the set, the kids would be playing with the siren and horns and because everything was cranked up to max, the mics picked up everything!!!

Our singer also turned up and had obviously had a few to drink! amazingly this had little effect on her performance, and had happened a few times before, (I suppose she was our Pete Doherty element within the band). Obviously a few of the kids were annoying her by shouting out requests, and obviously wanting to come on the truck to sing a few songs themselves. Again due to everything being cranked up to the max everyone heard all her grunblings and expletives about the kids!

The other Peter Kay thing about this gig was 'raffle time' where we had to distribute the wealth of fantastic gifts on offer. We also initiated a countdown for one of those water/pressure rockets to be launched. Counting down from 10, the rocket had already lauched by the time we got to 6!

We did the gig for free due to it being a fiend of a friend and a school fete. I'm sure there must be a moral to the story!

[Breakfast]

First gig with the band. First note of the slamming bassline. Bass still turned right down.

That's not really image, though. We recently switched (I say "we" - last night was my last gig as an official member of the band) to a kind of scuffed-suits type look on stage, which works quite well but since then all the gigs have been stupidly hot and no-one's been able to keep their jackets on past the first couple of songs...

[BigRedX]

Back in the 80s I was playing synth in an electronic rock band (imagine if you can a cross between early Depeche Mode and Motorhead fronted by a girl singer). After months of pestering, we finally got a gig at the local University at one of their hall parties. This was hopefully the first of many and an intro into decent paying local gigs that would finance going to London to play to record company people. Sound check was mid afternoon, and went reasonably well. Three quarters of the band went back to one of our houses to gab a bite to eat and chill before the main event. The fourth stayed with his mates to take advantage of the subsidised student union bar. By the time we returned he was completely pissed and could only just about stand up. In retrospect it would have been better if we'd plied him with more beer until he passed out and did the gig without him. As it was he spent the whole gig playing a few random notes on his synth and then spending the next 30 seconds celebrating it before playing some more. At one point during the set he left the stage to have a piss in the middle of the song (after announcing the fact to the audience). There exists a single photo of the gig which shows three of us heads down concentrating on what we're doing (or more likely in sheer embaressment) while our drunken friend is leaping up in the air arms out wide like he's just scored a winning goal. Needless to say we never got another Uni gig...

[ali-stare]

2nd ever gig with my band. First song started and bouncing round the stage as per usual when suddenly a part of the stage jumped up and smashed the headstock off my bass (tuned out i tripped over the lead of my own instrument) great sadness and the gig ended there for me halfway through the first song. gutted. the moral of this story. always always always bring a backup cos you never know when youll need it and always use wireless technology.

We never played thaere again.

[Breakfast]

I did once leap into the air whilst standing on my lead and unplug myself...

[Mobius]

At my only gig, I tried to walk up to the mic to do backing vocals in the chorus of a song, only to realise the singer was standing on my lead and had basically pinned me to the middle of the stage. I tried to get her to move but she was totally oblivious, so all I could do was stand there and play...

Edited May 19, 2007 by Mobius

[CPBass]

A Student union gig and topping the bill. Geared up, managed to keep the drummer sober and off to the stage we went. Id just gone and bought a Trantec system and as we had a bigish stage thought Id try it. Wandered and ran about which seemed to have gone well so instead of being happy with that. I thought Id go into the audience for a look at the ladies Id spotted giving it large to us. Walked down the steps and around the PA, floor was beer soaked and down I went like a sack of sh*te. Right on top of my beloved Pre Ernie ball Stingray. Band carried on thank god but needless to say I limped back on stage and endeavoured to get back in tune, no serious damage except to my ego. Never used it again. Have laughed about it a few times though. The gig was a storm actually.

Col

[Owen]

[attachment=19210:Neidio_g..._go_iawn.jpg]

I was having more fun than the punters. I also forgot to put my feet down again so landed on my knees, to deafening silence.

[thisnameistaken]

[quote name='Breakfast' post='2522' date='May 19 2007, 08:45 PM']I did once leap into the air whilst standing on my lead and unplug myself...[/quote]

I was once in charge of operating a smoke machine with my foot, and it was plugged into the same outlet as my bass amp. You can probably imagine what's coming next: I produce a ton of smoke, step away from the smoke machine with my foot snagged on the mains cable and pull my amp's plug out of the wall.

Would've been easier to plug it back in if I hadn't just filled the stage with smoke...

[josh3184]

one of my first gigs I was practicing in the band room beforehand and the tips of my fingers started to get sore so I stopped playing until I got on stage. During this time they decided to swell up a bit on me- fine I thought, I can get through that. I play with my fingers but chucked a pick in my back pocket just in case (I am NOT a pick player, can't use one to save my life). Anyhoo, about a third of the way into the set realised my finger tips had blistered up something rotten- so I thought I'd play through the pain. Two thirds of the way through the setlist they burst, all over my strings. horrible mess. I try to get the plectrum outta my back pocket, succeed (takes me about 10secs), start playing but the pus means that it falls out of my fingers and onto the floor within 2 bars. Safe to say by the end of the gig my popped blisters had blisters starting inside them.

Thank god for callouses.


*edit* oh, and new strings

Edited January 25, 2009 by josh3184

[Stylon Pilson]

[quote name='josh3184' post='391318' date='Jan 25 2009, 10:55 PM']Two thirds of the way through the setlist they burst, all over my strings. horrible mess. I try to get the plectrum outta my back pocket, succeed (takes me about 10secs), start playing but the pus means that it falls out of my fingers and onto the floor within 2 bars. Safe to say by the end of the gig my popped blisters had blisters starting inside them.[/quote]

This is exactly what I wanted to read on a Monday morning.

S.P.

[farmer61]

[quote name='Chop' post='1213' date='May 18 2007, 08:43 AM']Gig starts, lights drop, can't see a bloody thing. Blunder across stage to warm greeting applause, Kick over bass on stand, kick mike off stage, miss cues for first number. Cool image over, Raybans on floor immediately !

Interestingly, the guitarist at the time thinks it ended up as the best gig we played, I thought it was one of the worst.[/quote]

LOL!!!!! Great thread, been chuckling away at work to some of the above......I'm gonna get fired if I'm not careful. Done the sun glasses thing at our biggest ever gig (at the time), lasted half the first song.......

[bremen]

[quote name='owen' post='391308' date='Jan 25 2009, 10:38 PM'][attachment=19210:Neidio_g..._go_iawn.jpg]

I was having more fun than the punters. I also forgot to put my feet down again so landed on my knees, to deafening silence.[/quote]


I did that one time and landed on my face, split my jeans in the crucial crotchal area and snapped the jack plug off behind the pickguard. I borrowed a bass from another band for the next song, and by the time that was over our unpaid roadie had taken my bass to bits, extracted the remains of the jack, reassembled it, tuned it and handed it back to me. Played the rest of the gig with a refreshing breeze round the lunchbox.

[brummie]

[quote name='john_the_bass' post='1221' date='May 18 2007, 08:50 AM']first (and last gig) at the Attik in Leicester before it closed down. 1st we were supposed to be kit sharing, but the band we followed packed up their drums and fecked off. 2nd Guitarist Andy tuned his guitar - he's got a korg chromatic tuner only he'd recalibrated it accidently to about 458hz concert pitch and tuned his guitars to it. He was about a quarter tone out with the rest of the band - i could tell that there was something wrong but I wasn't quite sure as we were playing in a funny alcove thing with the sound bouncing round. then, andy breaks a string (fairly regular occurrence as he battered his guitars), switches guitar mid song only there is camo netting on the [low] ceiing of the stage, which the guitar gets stuck in and dangles for the rest of the song.

Dreadful[/quote]

That's a corker

[josh3184]

[quote name='Stylon Pilson' post='391445' date='Jan 26 2009, 09:27 AM']This is exactly what I wanted to read on a Monday morning.

S.P.[/quote]

Should have read it last night then my apologies!

[fumps]

I was in a silly punk band years ago & about 4 tunes into our set the drummer got bored & left.

There was a long silence between the tunes before we'd worked out he was'nt comming back lol

[tombboy]

Loads of stories but one gig really stands out. Way back in the '80's I was playing in a classic rock covers band. We were hired to play in the back upstairs room of a bikers pub in rural suffolk. The place was rammed on a hot summer's evening and before we went on, lots of the locals had kindly filled the room with the drifting aromas of their 'herbal' smokes. The cloud hung like a mist at head height and successfully calmed any pre-gig nerves.
Cue the intro to our opening number... lovely guitar riff.. whole band comes in and 'pop' goes all the power. 'Blinky steve' our lighting engineers flicks the trip and we start off agin.... same thing happens. Now Steve was never the most patient of fellas so he got 2.5mm copper wire and completely bypassed the fuse. For the rest of the gig the people in the restuarant downstairs had to eat their foot in varying defrees of light/dark according to Steve's lighting rig!!
Same gig.. started Let There Be Rock and the drummer's stool dropped about 8 inches!! Mutty never missed a beat and decided during the small break to fix the stool. Come to break, Mutty jumps off the stool, fixed the joint and rapps the snare for the re-intro. Straight back into the song and the same thing happens!! Finished the song playing the drums WAY above his head and eventually rammed & bent a screwdriver into the joint. Still there to this day!!
Even before we got to the gig we had to lay our other guitarist over the pa system in an escort due to lack of space. A combination of the windows being open and a roundabout taken too quickly resulted in us losing said guitarist who gave a small yelp as he slid straight out and bounced off the tarmac.

I miss those days!

[cheddatom]

Lol, some amusing stories.

I played a small pub with the Premature Ejaculators just before Christmas. It was supposed to be a big night, loads of people had turned out. We got 5 songs into a 17 song set. He had to re-start 2 of them because he forgot his words AND THEY'RE SO IMPORTANT!! After an attempt at the 6th song he kicks the mic stand over breaking my mic, lunged forward knocking 2 people's pints over, and then fell onto a settee at the side of the stage shouting "f*** it". That'll be the last Premature Ejaculators gig!

[MacDaddy]

At the end of one song I majestically hefted my bass in air in true rock God style, only to be covered in dust and crap from the tiles in the ceiling that I had put my bass through

[Eight]

Not really a gig - but its the closest I've ever come.

This is going back about ten/twelve years or something when I played gu*tar. A few of my friends played instruments and we had a big party coming up (hired venue) and decided to play as a band with me doing some rhythm guitar. I'd relunctantly agreed to do it - because well, basically I was terrified about playing in front of everyone I knew. So shitting my pants I get up there and we launch into the first song... within about two chords the strap comes off, I drop the guitar and the fall wrecks the tuning pegs.

No spare instruments.

That's me done for the night. So over to the bar to enjoy the rest of the gig with a small feeling of shame and some feelings of relief.

[skankdelvar]

On the 'image' aspect of the post - I've committed some terrible sins over the years...

African shirts / 'Marshall' baseball cap / Leather strides / White boiler suit with red dm's / White strides with pink hooped t-shirt / Flowery shirt, jeans and white leather shoes (during the 'Wham' years).

Edited January 26, 2009 by skankdelvar