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Is it a criminal offence.....


SpaceChick
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[quote name='skankdelvar' timestamp='1343865097' post='1756708']
Nearly all men can sense when a woman is harbouring a silent and specific dissatisfaction.[/quote]

That's easy. It's when she says, 'no, nothing's wrong. Why do you ask?'

Edited by discreet
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[quote name='daz' timestamp='1343876484' post='1756750']
The only cool rhythm guitarist I ever heard was Joe Strummer. The rest are an irrelevance and can be dispensed with forthwith. They just clutter up the sound anyway, and give it [i]less[/i] definition. IMHO.
[/quote]

Dave mustaines not too shabby you know. Although he is a dick :lol:

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[quote name='daz' timestamp='1343876484' post='1756750']
The only cool rhythm guitarist I ever heard was Joe Strummer. The rest are an irrelevance and can be dispensed with forthwith. They just clutter up the sound anyway, and give it [i]less[/i] definition. IMHO.
[/quote]

On the punk front, definitely, Strummer was excellent. But on the rock front, Malcolm Young, Izzy Stradlin, and Dan Hawkins are all great rhythm guitarists.

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[quote name='skankdelvar' timestamp='1343863741' post='1756691']Auditioned one old boy for guitar and the first thing he said when he walked through the door - [i]literally the first thing [/i]- was "You'll have to move the bass amp - I always play on stage left". What [i]possesses[/i] someone to make them say that rather than "Hallo"?
[/quote]

Hahaha!!! I had the very same thing happen to a band I was in years ago. Knob end guitarist arrives at the audition at the rehearsal room, and before even saying "hi there, my name is xxxxx", he said, "that guitar amp (Marshall head with 4x12" cab) won't get my sound. And, I bet the cab is the wrong impedance. Plus you guys will have to move it to the other side of the room for me".

Next thing that was said was me putting my bass on it's stand, walking to the guy to shake his hand and say " thanks for coming. Don't bother getting your guitar out of it's case, you'd be a nightmare to play with". The guy replied "WHAT??? Aren't you going to at least hear what I can do?". To which my response was "to be honest, I think all we want to hear from you is the door closing behind you, you need to work on your people skills. Thanks for coming anyhow".

A bit harsh on my part, but saved us a half hour of grief I reckon. The next guitarist who came in was great!! Really nice guy who actually listened to what everyone else was doing and played to enhance our sound.

Edited by kevin_lindsay
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[quote name='skankdelvar' timestamp='1343865097' post='1756708']
Nearly all men can sense when a woman is harbouring a silent and specific dissatisfaction. I suppose this chump must have belonged to the 1% that don't.
[/quote]

Detection is one thing, Herr Skank; it's then a matter of having the correct weaponry to deal with this silent menace.

Me and my wife us specific code phrases to help articulate when she is struggling with some hidden issue, in a safe and security-conscious manner. I initiate our clandestine contact with the code phrase: [i]"Jesus Christ, you've got a face like a smacked arse. What have I done now."[/i]

Upon receipt of this code phrase, my wife then knows that she can broadcast the vital information.

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[quote name='kevin_lindsay' timestamp='1343892913' post='1756802']
Hahaha!!! I had the very same thing happen to a band I was in years ago. Knob end guitarist arrives at the audition at the rehearsal room, and before even saying "hi there, my name is xxxxx", he said, "that guitar amp (Marshall head with 4x12" cab) won't get my sound. And, I bet the cab is the wrong impedance. Plus you guys will have to move it to the other side of the room for me".

Next thing that was said was me putting my bass on it's stand, walking to the guy to shake his hand and say " thanks for coming. Don't bother getting your guitar out of it's case, you'd be a nightmare to play with". The guy replied "WHAT??? Aren't you going to at least hear what I can do?". To which my response was "to be honest, I think all we want to hear from you is the door closing behind you, you need to work on your people skills. Thanks for coming anyhow".

A bit harsh on my part, but saved us a half hour of grief I reckon. The next guitarist who came in was great!! Really nice guy who actually listened to what everyone else was doing and played to enhance our sound.
[/quote]

More stories like this please :) :)

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[quote name='SpaceChick' timestamp='1343860789' post='1756637']


...

As for the poster who asked about band ages.... I'm the youngest at 38, the lead singer is in his late 40's, the ditched guitarist was early 50's, our lead guitarist is 60 and our drummer is 62 :P so a group of youngsters we aren't.

Our drummer has been gigging for over 40 years, so I reckon he's seen his fair share of arses in that time!!
[/quote]

It was a rhetorical question. People of all ages get it wrong and sometimes need their heads banging together.

The drummer knows this.

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[quote name='kevin_lindsay' timestamp='1343892913' post='1756802']
Hahaha!!! I had the very same thing happen to a band I was in years ago. Knob end guitarist arrives at the audition at the rehearsal room, and before even saying "hi there, my name is xxxxx", he said, "that guitar amp (Marshall head with 4x12" cab) won't get my sound. And, I bet the cab is the wrong impedance. Plus you guys will have to move it to the other side of the room for me".

Next thing that was said was me putting my bass on it's stand, walking to the guy to shake his hand and say " thanks for coming. Don't bother getting your guitar out of it's case, you'd be a nightmare to play with". The guy replied "WHAT??? Aren't you going to at least hear what I can do?". To which my response was "to be honest, I think all we want to hear from you is the door closing behind you, you need to work on your people skills. Thanks for coming anyhow".

A bit harsh on my part, but saved us a half hour of grief I reckon. The next guitarist who came in was great!! Really nice guy who actually listened to what everyone else was doing and played to enhance our sound.
[/quote]

Excellent story and one of those 'real world' lessons for the guy concerned.

This sort of thing doesn't just apply to bands. I've interviewed loads of people for jobs - professional people, highly qualified with relevant experience. Of course, they only got to the interview stage because of their CV and, broadly, they were all capable of doing the job in question. By this stage, success is largely based on whether they are judged to able to fit in to the team and the company.

I'd bet we'd all rather play with competent musicians who are great company than socially-inept virtuoso primmadonnas. It might not be fair, but that's life.

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I auditioned on guitar for a funk band recently, and before the audition, I knew the amps in the studio were shocking (have used them before) and ummed and ahhhed for ages about whether to take my trusty old Vox or not to ensure I had the right sound.
Decided not to bother in the end, as it was too much hassle.

Within about 8 bars of the first track I realised that all this tone-bothering is a waste of time, it sounded okay, fitted in with the band, and was a lot of fun to play. Forgot all about the amp.

Apologies for the sidetrack, we are all victims of gear twattery at some point, and we need to remember it's the overall noise that matters more, especially in rehearsal. :)

Glad it worked out for you Debs,
Oh and those who say rhythm guitar is unnecessary, I give you Richie Edwards.

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[quote name='Dave Vader' timestamp='1343904351' post='1757022']
Oh and those who say rhythm guitar is unnecessary, I give you Richie Edwards.[/quote]

I'll give you that one. And of course, there's Nile Rodgers.
Maybe we should start a 'rhythm guitarists who aren't unnecessary and crap' thread...

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Any well written song can be played on rhythm guitar alone. I would argue that none of the other instruments are 'needed'.

In one of my bands we've played gigs without our rhythm guitarist none of the audience were any the wiser. in most cases we struggle to play some songs because the rhythm guitarist gets in the way. This is more due to his lack of listening skills than anything else. In the other band the rhythm guitarist is bang on the money. But I'd still question whether he was absolutely necessary for a gig.

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Being in a band HAS to be fun. if it isn't then why bother? how can you entertain people when your not enjoying what you do ?
that logic just doesn't work in my head tbh !

I was once looking for a guitarist & someone called in reply to my ad (At the time we already had one lad who was a very talented guitarist-player-ist) he told me about his experience & he sounded like the kind of person we were looking for. The next comment was the tipping point:
"I only play lead though"
Me: "Thats fine we have another lad who can also play lead, he's happy to share the job & drop out to play rhythm with you"
"No I'm not willing to share lead"
Me "Well thanks for your time, it's a band & no one dictates to anyone else"
"So your not wanting me over for an audition?"
Me "No mate you've just talked yourself out of it, but good luck finding a band"

I got a phone call from him an hour later saying that he'd reconsidered but wanted to choose which songs he played lead on......He was respectfully turned down lol

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In my punk band, The Daves, we have a main guitarist, and the singer who also plays guitar on a few songs which require it.

In my other band, The Tuesday Club, we have three guitarists (and two bassists, and keyboards). Now that took a while to make sure the dynamics weren`t over-fudged!

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[quote name='SpaceChick' timestamp='1343824909' post='1755796']
Nice :P
[/quote]

No, i humbly submit my Dean Metalman Flying V - you can pin the git up against the wall by the throat with the headstock tHEN insert it in the rear passage..

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