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Bass Book Giveaway


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[quote name='Dad3353' timestamp='1345127945' post='1773952']
@Bert...

Please take the tablets; they're for your own good. You shouldn't go about waving that, either. You'll catch cold. Now get back into bed and wait for the nurse's visit. Yes, we'll take you for a walk around the park later, if you'll keep your pyjamas on this time...
[/quote]

You have no idea whatsoever. I [b]did[/b] take them, and wrote what I wrote [b]after[/b] the prescribed four hours of rest (incidentally on a bench in the ward garden - twas sunny that day) ...
;)

best,
bert

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ha, started off playing Double Bass at school - was always a bugger getting it on the school bus to take it home for the holidays tho' (and the mile walk from the bus stop to the house was even worse!!).

There again, was only taking bass lessons cos the (female) teacher was cute (oh, and I had to get grade V so I didnt have to do the practical bit for 'O' level music).

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They used to have doors? That would be soooo useful - I could keep all my leads and a sleeping bag in there. Also very handy if something larger than a small stuffed badger gets in. MInd you, having a small door in the back is practically an invitation to things too big to get in through the f-hole.

I'm not sure how the tray/carving knife combo would work - I'd never get him to cut himself up into manageable pieces. He's a stuffed badger.
I tried turning the bass upside down and shaking it, like you do when trying to get a plectrum out of an acoustic guitar but all that achieved was to make my arms ache and destroy my light fittings.

The whole debacle is probably karma for when I dropped the singer's kazoo into the port of one of the stage monitors. The sound engineer wasn't impressed - even after my jokes about 'wanting a bit more kazoo in the monitor'.

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[quote name='TheRev' timestamp='1345556793' post='1778784']
They used to have doors?[/quote]

Not really, but I have seen a few with them, both on old and new instruments. Not sure if they were meant to be a joke or practical.


[quote name='TheRev' timestamp='1345556793' post='1778784']
I'm not sure how the tray/carving knife combo would work [/quote]

Sorry. Was trying to joke again. Obviously failed. Again. :blush:


[quote name='TheRev' timestamp='1345556793' post='1778784']
The sound engineer wasn't impressed - even after my jokes about 'wanting a bit more kazoo in the monitor'.[/quote]

:lol:
Yeah, people tend to be like that. Good job there's bassists on the planet as well.


best,
bert

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[quote name='sarah thomas' timestamp='1344888965' post='1770749']
You can buy it from the man himself: [url="http://www.tylerbasses.co.uk/page4.html"]http://www.tylerbass...o.uk/page4.html[/url]
[/quote]

Forgot to thank you, Sarah, for that - I'll make sure I end up with a copy one way or another :D

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[quote name='BassTractor' timestamp='1345586976' post='1779280']

Sorry. Was trying to joke again. Obviously failed. Again. :blush:

best,
bert
[/quote]

No, I like where you're coming from - just need to develop the plan a bit more..... :D

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[quote name='TheRev' timestamp='1345640682' post='1779833']
No, I like where you're coming from - just need to develop the plan a bit more..... :D
[/quote]

Ah! Great. I suppose O-holes are out of the question, so that leaves sending in a stuffed porcupine on a leash. That or ye olde fishing hook on a line.

That failing, you are aware there's these long flexible things on the market that have a pincher* on one end and a press button on the other?

*) Pincher: my word for a little tool with a beak that you open by pressing the button.

best,
bert

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[quote name='BassTractor' timestamp='1345667948' post='1780339']


Ain't no tonebadger, this one. The bread crumbs are too soft.

best,
bert
[/quote]

Yep. I'm pretty sure its a cheap Chinese badger, so the tone really isn't there. If it had been a turn of the century German badger then yeah, I'd totally be leaving it in there.

I tried luring it out with jelly worms, so now there are jelly worms in my bass. To be fair, I was on my third pint of Proper Job at the time.

Will this book have instructions on how to fit a small door in my bass? I'm thinking a door is the way forward.

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A lure..? An old trick, but it just might work... You'll have to procure the services of a small stuffed [i]female [/i]badger (assuming the present resident to be male..?). Chinese or German, I don't think that would be germain to the outcome. Persuade her to display her wares in the vicinity, and let Mother Nature take her course. Depending upon how long Brock has gone without, a couple of balmy evenings should do the trick..? As an added bonus, with a bit of luck he'll have eaten all the jelly worms, too, so they would no longer be a problem, either.
Now, at least, you know why they're called 'f-holes'.

I just had a thought (been watching 'Breaking Bad'...): a couple of quarts of strong-ish acid poured in would dissolve the troublesome mammal..? I'm not sure how the 'tone' would be affected, though. Try it out on a small unobtrusive spot first, or a violin..? You'll need an even smaller badger for proper testing with a fiddle, though...

Edited by Dad3353
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I think you're on to something here..... does the book come with instructions on stuffed badger sexing?

Hang about.

Let's say I manage to find another badger that is sexually appealing to the badger currently living in my bass. What is to stop the second badger joining the first badger inside my bass? Next thing you know there'll be a whole set of them in there, digging through the endblock and snuffling about noisily between songs and ruining the band-audience banter.

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My god guys it's so easy
just keep the string taut, never go to the left of the dango pin & always keep the hamster off his unicycle.

It's not rocket science but not far from the off licence, the one that used to be Jack Fultons.....on the left just after the chippy !

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Actually this thread is worthless, full stop. I was glad when a dedicated double bass forum was set up within BC. It started off so well but has now degenerated to juvenile crap such as this. Is it possible that we can go back to some sensible DB conversation where we can all learn from each other, experts and newbies alike and improve our DB skills? Is it a coincidence that several experienced posters who offered valuable advice don't seem to be around much these days?

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