Left the band - another door opens though

[dmccombe7]

After spending the last year with a band and only playing one gig which to be fair was a great night i decided to leave.
Found that every time and i mean every time something wasn't quite 100% spot on they would stop the song dead in its tracks even if the tone wasn't right. In a 6 hr rehearsal we sometimes couldn't even get thru a 1.5hr set list.
When it happened this time the guitarist thru a furious tirade at the keyboard player for stopping every song so far apart from the first one. This developed into what could almost be described as "close to a fight"
The 2 of them said they had enough and packed up but didn't actually leave although one went outside ??
Meanwhile myself, the drummer and singer are standing around for 15mins wondering what the hell is going on.
At that point i decided this wasn't for me and said i had enough and wasn't prepared to waste my sundays off listening to this kind of s**t. I made it clear i only do this for fun, not money or fame, solely for fun and once the enjoyment goes then no point in carrying on. After several phone calls and txt messages later that night asking me to rethink i made it clear NO thanks.

AM I BEING TOO HARSH ?

At the same time an old friend got in touch looking for a new band to do his own material. He had been at our one and only gig and was wondering if i would be interested in helping him out in the studio and then maybe some live work.

One door closes and another opens. Life is a funny old thing.

That's my rant for the year guys. Sorry if I'm bleating in your ear but its good to get it off my chest.

Thanks
Dave

Edited August 29, 2012 by dmccombe7

[gary mac]

You hit the nail on the head. Once it stops being fun then it's not worth carrying on, unless of course it's how you earn your living.

[gary mac]

Good luck with the next project

[mrtcat]

You did the right thing. It's one thing to strive for quality it's another thing altogether to only accept record like quality in a band that's meant to be fun. Then to come close to swinging for each other is madness. Unless its a punk band where fighting goes with the territory.

[jezzaboy]

You did the right thing Dave. I was playing in an ac/dc covers band that was started by the "Angus" The guy is a great guitar player but has played in the bedroom to ac/dc records for 20 years and has not got the temprement or the balls to play live. Him and the drummer had a fall out through bloomin Facebook and the drummer departed. It was all so bloomin petty and the band was sounding sh*t hot. After that me, the singer and rhythm guitarist walked. Angus was a bit shocked at that but the guy was a great drummer and perfect for the material.

He still has an ad on Gumtree and whilst he is talanted he just ain`t got it for playing live. My motto is if you ain`t enjoying it, it`s time to go!

[JTUK]

No..not being harsh, IMO.. Being in a band takes compromises and deep breaths but those incidents seem a bit too deep and unrecoverable.
There are generally a few things that are deal breakers and the breakdown of trust and respect are those stabs to the heart that may be not fatal straight away, but sow the seeds to a breakup anyway at some point.

[Doddy]

6 hour rehearsals and only 1 gig in a year? I'd have left a long time ago.

[mcgraham]

From what you've said, you've made the right decision. Sometimes it's fun just to have a music project with good mates or even just other like-minded musicians, and doesn't always need a regular performance outlet, but if you're not even having a productive or enjoyable practice (I mean 6 hours?!?! without managing a whole set??!?!)... Move on and be happy man.

[musophilr]

[quote name='Doddy' timestamp='1346275674' post='1787499']
6 hour rehearsals and only 1 gig in a year? I'd have left a long time ago.
[/quote]

^ This ^

[Jambo10]

[quote name='musophilr' timestamp='1346277744' post='1787519']
^ This ^
[/quote]

Ditto!

[shizznit]

You did that right thing for you, IMO Dave. That band sounded like a huge demand on your time and for what?? These guys sound like they can't work together anyway and its never nice having to witness quarrels and fall outs between band members. It's uncomfortable...isn't it? Most bands with good musicians should be gigging regularly after 6 months even if started from fresh and especially if rehearsing for 6hrs at a time.

You made the right decision to walk. All the best with your new endeavours!

[dmccombe7]

Thanks guys for the feedback. Original intent was always for fun and a hobby. Because of work comitments it would never have been regular gigging but we all kinda new that but 1 gig in a year did seem a bit extreme. This is my first actual band in 15yrs or more and it was good to get back into it but grudged wasting a full day Sunday for what was a 1.5hr setlist. I'm also 1-1.5hrs drive each way to rehearsal so that didn't help.
As you say compromises are always part of being in a band but not to these extremes. When it becomes aggresive its beyond repair IMO.
Going on holiday end of the week and then I'll look at working with an old friend from yrs ago who does a lot of studio work with his originals band "Scarlett Inside" and he is looking for new musicians to start gigging again and has asked me to help.
Will be good getting back to doing original material again. He's very open to musicians inputting his ideas even on his oldr material and giving it a new spin.

Looking forward to it to be honest.
Another challenge but hopefully more relaxed and enjoyable.

Cheers guys for the vote of support in my decision. That cheered me up a fair bit.

All the best to you all
Dave

[pnefc42]

[quote name='Doddy' timestamp='1346275674' post='1787499']
6 hour rehearsals and only 1 gig in a year? I'd have left a long time ago.
[/quote]

+3!

[paul_5]

6 hours? That's more rehearsing than I've done in my life!

[merlin]

I can only manage a two hour rehearsal...six hours,you are a super star best of luck with the new project.

[SpaceChick]

Good luck with the new project. You have definitely done the right thing.

[Commando Jack]

That could go on your resumé if you put an ad out!

"...able to endure 6 hour rehearsals..."

I know I couldn't do it

[bremen]

Hardly needs another voice saying 'you did the right thing' but here it is anyway.

Few things more frustrating than a band that grinds to a halt partway through a song because the tone is wrong/I fluffed the intro to my solo/I saw a canoe on top of the drum booth.

Good luck with the new band :-)

[uncle psychosis]

6 hour rehearsals? Blimey. I find 3 hours exhausting, 6 would be unbearable.

I second the "you did the right thing" comments. For me, being in a band should be fun. If its not fun, it better be well paid---otherwise whats the point?

[RAY AGAINST THE MACHINE]

The most any rehearsal should be is 4hrs
This would include a break , setting up equipment ,waiting for all of the band to arrive etc,

If you stayed with the band, you could've had a row on stage , filmed it , and you tubed it,)
Could've been fun.
But really , you did the right thing by quitting.
Enjoy your new band

[JTUK]

All dayers are ok if you can break them up, real and eat..and it is a brain storming rehearsal... and one you are not going to repeat.
The unit should pretty well expect to top and tail the whole set then...

[Lozz196]

Def the right move, once a band has stopped being fun, it`s time to move on. I just wish I`d had the sense to realise that a few years ago, when I stayed in a band as I thought it was better being in a band than not being in one. I should have had the sense to know that I would have found work elsewhere, but I stayed as it was like a comfort-blanket. Luckily, staying with that band left my availability open to the covers band I joined, so all worked out for the best, but I wouldn`t hang around in a band now if it wasn`t fun, or I couldn`t work with one/more of the people involved.

[dmccombe7]

[quote name='bremen' timestamp='1346320107' post='1787771']


Few things more frustrating than a band that grinds to a halt partway through a song because the tone is wrong/I fluffed the intro to my solo/I saw a canoe on top of the drum booth.


[/quote]

Brilliant - like it

6 hrs was because it had to be in 3hr blocks and as set list expanded a bit we found 3 hrs wasn't quite long enough for the obvious time-wasting reasons.
When we did occasionally manage to do it without stopping we were able to do the set list twice and work on any new material and it was hard going and on one occasion i took cramp but without any pain on my left hand whereby my index finger locked closed. That was within the last hour. Other than that it was fine.

I think i have made the right call by looking elsewhere. I'm sure there will always be another band somewhere who needs a bass player - i hope

Definately feel better after reading BC replies.

Cheers
Dave

[Mornats]

It sounds like your new project could be interesting. Your mate obviously thinks you can work well together if he's asked you after seeing your gig. You could end up working on some very interesting stuff!

[spongebob]

+1 on most of the above!

I must admit, it's only the last 18 months or so I decided to become a bit more, shall we say, single minded in my approach.

Since then, if it doesn't work for me, and is beyond sensible resolution, then you're better off out. I'd rather play on my own in a dark room than put up with some of the rubbish I used to!

So far, it works fine. If nothing else, it sends out a signal that you take things seriously and won't be mucked around. Hopefully find like minded people.

I've actually ended up in two bands because of it. Should have changed my attitude years ago!!