What's Your Gigging Bane or Nemesis?

[bremen]

[quote name='Crazykiwi' post='197247' date='May 12 2008, 04:02 PM']I've just quoted precedents so far. Haven't yet mentioned turning up and finding one of the guests is an ex gf[/quote]

Haha! I was going to add 'having current and at least one ex- girlfriend in the audience' as happened to me on Saturday.

[quote]or worse yet, Jordan...[/quote]


Please tell me that she was intelligent, witty, generous and friendly and danced unselfconsciously all night.

[Kiwi]

[quote name='bremen' post='197281' date='May 12 2008, 04:37 PM']Haha! I was going to add 'having current and at least one ex- girlfriend in the audience' as happened to me on Saturday.

Please tell me that she was intelligent, witty, generous and friendly and danced unselfconsciously all night.[/quote]

Haven't met her yet, but we've got a gig in September for Cherie Blair's hairdresser (civil partnership) so some celebs are bound to be on the guest list for that one.

[bremen]

[quote name='Crazykiwi' post='197290' date='May 12 2008, 04:52 PM']Haven't met her yet, but we've got a gig in September for Cherie Blair's hairdresser (civil partnership) so some celebs are bound to be on the guest list for that one.[/quote]

Well if you do get to talk to her, could you ask whether she's ever had oral sex with Peter André, because I've often wondered and I don't have cable TV.

[Jono Bolton]

Between songs we do lots of prog sound-scaping, and I take this opportunity to re-tune as it seems to be only me that has to change between standard tuning and drop D. Sadly, our keyboard/synth player likes using lots of high frequencies that play havoc with my tuner (Boss TU-2). After a minute or so of trying to get in tune and failing miserably, I have to turn it off and tune by ear, which looks and sounds crap on stage.

[bremen]

[quote name='jono b' post='197305' date='May 12 2008, 05:07 PM']Between songs we do lots of prog sound-scaping, and I take this opportunity to re-tune as it seems to be only me that has to change between standard tuning and drop D. Sadly, our keyboard/synth player likes using lots of high frequencies that play havoc with my tuner (Boss TU-2). After a minute or so of trying to get in tune and failing miserably, I have to turn it off and tune by ear, which looks and sounds crap on stage.[/quote]

[url="http://www.hipshotproducts.com/cart.php?m=product_detail&p=260"]http://www.hipshotproducts.com/cart.php?m=...etail&p=260[/url]

[Jono Bolton]

I've seen them, I desperately need one, but $84 is not something I have lying about sadly. And I'd have to get 2 because sometime I use the Jazz and sometimes I use the Precision. Bah! Don't they need a bit of tweaking after you flick it back up to E?

Edited May 12, 2008 by jono b

[bremen]

[quote name='jono b' post='197325' date='May 12 2008, 05:19 PM']I've seen them, I desperately need one, but $84 is not something I have lying about sadly. And I'd have to get 2 because sometime I use the Jazz and sometimes I use the Precision. Bah! Don't they need a bit of tweaking after you flick it back up to E?[/quote]

Apparently not! I guess you'd have to be sure the string wasn't binding in the nut.

I searched Ebay to see if I could get them cheaper, or in Europe, but no luck so far. I'll let you know if I find one cheap, as I'm looking for one for a CIJ neck.

[The Funk]

Headlining a venue, being told we're soundchecking at 2pm, then finding out we're not on stage until 11pm.

The sound engineer not marking any of our settings at the end of the soundcheck, always making us sound like the rubbish indie band that was on before us.

Venues bullshitting friends on the guestlist and charging them full whack - then giving me sh*t when I go give them a bollocking and ask them to refund the balance.

Other bands. Everything about them. Except the nice ones.

Edited May 12, 2008 by The Funk

[jakenewmanbass]

[quote name='niceguyhomer' post='197141' date='May 12 2008, 01:43 PM']The nob-head who dances idiotically right in front of you taking the p155 with his brain dead mates watching on. I wish I could put my bass down and break that f*ckers legs. Winds me up every time[/quote]

My Wife (who is a singer) was on a function gig in Yorkshire with an ex para in the band on saxophone, during a sax solo the best man who was very pissed and had been shouting abuse at the band since they started, came right up to Paul (the sax player) and shouted some nasty comment about his playing, without taking the sax from his mouth he hit the guy right on the chin and, as my wife tells it, she "turned to see the best man skidding backwards across the dancefloor on his arse about ten feet, and then collapsing unconcious, backwards".
I soo wish I'd been on that gig.

Edited May 12, 2008 by jakesbass

[Brother Jones]

On stage at a pub in Leeds about 20 years ago, we were in a kind of thrash/funk band (much, much worse than you can possibly imagine). We were trying out some new 'songs' with that 'eights bars of this, then four of that' thing you do.

The guitarist and I completely fluffed a middle eight/verse change but no one noticed and it went okay. Then at the end the singer made a massive thing of it and apologised to the audience 'on behalf of the bass player and guitarist'.

FFS....

[The Funk]

[quote name='Brother Jones' post='197433' date='May 12 2008, 07:47 PM']Then at the end the singer made a massive thing of it and apologised to the audience 'on behalf of the bass player and guitarist'.

FFS....[/quote]

If a singer did something like that in my band, the guitarist or I would grab the mic and say "and we apologise to you on behalf of the bollock-less c*** who can't play a musical instrument".

[Phaedrus]

Yeah, I think nervous or shy frontmen (is that a paradox or something?) say that dumb sh*t when they can't think of anything.

On one of our earliest gigs, the first or second time I (nervously) used a fretless (a Stagg - sold now. Not a good bass, but with some tweaks of my effects & amp, I actually got a useable sound) for Pearl Jam's Alive in a live gig, the singer introduced Alive by saying, "we'll wait a moment now while Mark changes his bass. This is one of them fancy basses with no frets, so he must be good..."

I looked at the drummer. His head was down and shaking from side-to-side. I couldn't believe it.


Mark

[umph]

[quote name='bremen' post='197065' date='May 12 2008, 12:27 PM']Sound guys that stick a mic in the bass drum and an overhead over the kit then mix it up with the vocals and put it all through a pair of graphic equalisers, a puny power amp and a pair of 'full-range' speakers on poles. For a pub gig.


Bands that insist that the sound guy sticks a mic in the bass drum and an overhead over the kit then mix it up with the vocals and put it all through a pair of graphic equalisers, a puny power amp and a pair of 'full-range' speakers on poles. For a pub gig.[/quote]
dunno sound man did this last night he got a truely awesome sound

[Rich]

[list]
[*][u]Nemesis #1: bass-phobic venues[/u]. There's a venue in Bristol -- I won't name it, but if I say it's on Gloucester Road and the name rhymes with 'Bomb', folks will know where I mean -- which has problematic neighbours and, as a consequence, a real bass phobia. Turning one's backline up to anything remotely audible is met with a frown and a barked request to turn the bass down. I have played several gigs there without being able to hear a single note I've played all night. I would sympathise with them on the neighbour thing, were it not for the fact that the owner of the place is a sad arrogant twonk who seems to think he's running Carnegie Hall, not some jumped-up wine bar in a dodgy part of town. My least favourite venue to play, in the known universe.
[*][u]Nemesis #2: audience apathy, despite the fact that you're playing your bollicks off[/u]. Corporate gigs can be the worst. We played the Royal Bank of Scotland's annual awards dinner in Brighton last year... we were on straight after the speeches, which were straight after dinner... so by the time we came on, they'd been sat on their arses for ages and all they seemed to want was to get trolleyed... and the bar was in an annex to the main hall. So we played to maybe a dozen people. Oh well, it was a good payday and RBS put us up at the Hilton, so we treated it as a rehearsal and I just kept telling myself "X hundred quid and a free weekend away, X hundred quid and a free weekend away...". And we emptied the hotel mini-bars.
[/list]

[coasterbass]

More a post of 'things that can go wrong' than actual Nemesis, but:

- Aggressive Steve Harris-type moment which resulted in a broken E string, and the string core going straight through my index finger. Rather painful - but played to the end of the song with remaining digits. Guitarist almost passed out when he saw the blood.
- Strap'lock' unlocking resulting in Stingray crashing to the floor and unfeasible noise
- Two gigs later the same (unchecked) Stingray having an active electronics wire disconnect itself. Cue mid-song pedal board rerouting to find the (unfindable) problem. PA guy solves it by turning the bass gain through the roof on the FOH (about 15k as i recall). And then of course the wire finds its way home for a short while resulting in bass overload, audience with bleeding ears, tripped poweramps and a couple of blown cones.
- Asking the audience if they had any requests : )
- Playing for freebeer and attempting to get my moneys worth (pregig). Then coming off at the end of the gig and complaining to the rest of the band that we hadn't played x, y and z songs. Apparently we had, and I just couldn't remember.
- Playing rough bars with no lights on the audience and blinding spots on the stage. You just won't see the glasses coming towards you til the last second.
- Having a really gobby lead guitarist in situations like the one above.
- Applying superglue into a thumb blister, but accidently supergluing thumb and index finger together
- Guitarist getting careless, dropping guitar and shearing every single knob off the front of my combo.
- Tucking in to the between-set buffet to the extent that you can't sing and want to sleep.
- Letting the bride/groom book a PA ("no, 50w is not enough")
- Having a pedal board so complex that your bandmates refer to it as 'the mothership' and you resemble one-legged t*at all gig.

PS. I resisted the urge to say my biggest Nemesis is an 8x10 combo

[johnnylager]

[quote name='niceguyhomer' post='197141' date='May 12 2008, 01:43 PM']The nob-head who dances idiotically right in front of you taking the p155 with his brain dead mates watching on. I wish I could put my bass down and break that f*ckers legs. Winds me up every time[/quote]
Sorry.

[Doc B]

not being in a band

[Ou7shined]

[quote name='sticker' post='197126' date='May 12 2008, 01:28 PM']Singers who arrive for soundcheck late so avoid the carrying of weighty P.A gear in to the venue , still can't remember the words to songs we have rehearsed a hundred times and then always have an excuse to leave early and avoid the loading of the van !

[/quote]
+1000. And they come away with gems like "ha ha I love being the singer all I've got to carry is a tune".


What's with [b]line checks[/b]! I like a good old sound check to warm up with.

[b]Waiting for the drummer [/b]: The excellent drummer in my covers band likes to end a song then do all this stuff -> find towel -> wipe sweat -> sip water -> reposition stool -> reposition bass drum and accoutrement's -> tighten up cymbals -> reposition cymbals -> un-clip snare then clip it up again -> check set list -> scratch arse -> pick nose -> then he looks up at our expectant faces like "well, are you ready?" Once or twice a set ok but after what seems like every bloody song is just excruciating. Mind you our rhythm guitarist couldn't hold on any longer once and had to take a toilet break 3 songs from the end of our set and got lost on the way - got a huge round of applause when he eventually found the stage again.

[b]Stage fountains[/b] : When you take the 1st gentle sip from your pre-positioned bottle of beer and it froths over......... you try and catch it by quickly stuffing it in your mouth but it exits all available orifices and you have to jump about like a pansy so it doesn't get into your bass then you put it down on your set list (coz you don't like to leave a mess) and the ink runs and you have to share someone else's and you loose concentration coz you've just waisted a couple of mls of beer and then you think of something witty that you should have done to turn it into a rock n roll wheeze instead of looking like a noob that can't handle his shandy but it's too late and everyone thinks your a git then you forget all about it until you're tidying up and you loop a sticky, gritty lead around you arm........... No?...... Just me then. Happens every time.

[Sarah5string]

Being in a band and being really eager to gig.... but with other band members who have the 'we're not ready, haven't got enough songs, don't want to play covers, don't want to play x song yet.. yaddayaddayadda' mentality.

[Cantdosleepy]

[quote name='Ou7shined' post='197929' date='May 13 2008, 01:14 PM'][b]Stage fountains[/b] : When you take the 1st gentle sip from your pre-positioned bottle of beer and it froths over......... you try and catch it by quickly stuffing it in your mouth but it exits all available orifices and you have to jump about like a pansy so it doesn't get into your bass then you put it down on your set list (coz you don't like to leave a mess) and the ink runs and you have to share someone else's and you loose concentration coz you've just waisted a couple of mls of beer and then you think of something witty that you should have done to turn it into a rock n roll wheeze instead of looking like a noob that can't handle his shandy but it's too late and everyone thinks your a git then you forget all about it until you're tidying up and you loop a sticky, gritty lead around you arm........... No?...... Just me then. Happens every time. [/quote]

[b]Stage Fountain[/b] has now been added to my vocab. Excellent.

[cheddatom]

When i'm on stage playing bass I never get mad at anything, and when I come off stage no matter how many mistakes I or anyone else has made, I always feel great. It's all the crap before and after that winds me up.

I'm doing some gigs as a drummer now wih my new band, which is loads of fun. However, I like to share a drum kit so I can get wasted, and this means I feel like I can't mess about with the settings too much so sometimes i'm uncomfortable, and that's annoying.

At our last gig, we were told to arrive at 6.30 to load, soundcheck at 7, doors at 8.30. We were unloaded by 6.30 and then the sound man f*cked off somewhere for an hour at least, so we went home for drinks. The other bands had to wait around outside the venue, until 7.45 when he turned up again. Then, he took until 9 O clock to soundcheck the other 2 bands, kept on shouting obnoxiously at them and generally trying to come accross as though he knew what he was doing. The doors opened at 8.30 but he didn't stop, and he didn't think "f*ck the 2nd band, it'll be ok, the doors are open and this looks sh*t" he thought "the doors are open! it's my audience come to watch me soundcheck!" so he started shouting louder nad more obnoxiously until he was done with the middle band, which left us to walk on stage and play without any sort of check at all. The worst thing about this gig? The bar didn't open until 9!!!

[TheRev]

[quote name='Rich' post='197863' date='May 13 2008, 12:07 PM'][list]
[*][u]Nemesis #1: bass-phobic venues[/u]. There's a venue in Bristol -- I won't name it, but if I say it's on Gloucester Road and the name rhymes with 'Bomb', folks will know where I mean -- which has problematic neighbours and, as a consequence, a real bass phobia. Turning one's backline up to anything remotely audible is met with a frown and a barked request to turn the bass down. I have played several gigs there without being able to hear a single note I've played all night. I would sympathise with them on the neighbour thing, were it not for the fact that the owner of the place is a sad arrogant twonk who seems to think he's running Carnegie Hall, not some jumped-up wine bar in a dodgy part of town. My least favourite venue to play, in the known universe.
[/list][/quote]




It used to really hack me off when The Bomb' repeatedly refused to book my band simply because they'd 'never heard of you'. I thought that if we played lots of gigs in the same area, got the name about a bit and generally built up a reputation for a solid, reliable band that we've be in with a chance of playing 'Bristol's best live music venue'. You know what? Did it f#*k. I don't even bother with them now with the exception of their rather good breakfasts....


My personal bane: Support bands that overrun and then wander off stage after their set without bothering to move their gear out of your way and then get arsey when you move one of their guitars.

I also grew to hate playing gigs with my last band. The singer/guitarist would pretty much ignore what either myself or the drummer were playing and drop whole bars, speed up/slow down, forget whole sections of the song, forget/change the lyrics (making my backing vox, ropey at the best of times, sound like a sack of toss). He also had a great habit of turning up at gigs and saying 'Didn't you bring the PA? They don't have one here'

[Jono Bolton]

[quote name='TheRev' post='198037' date='May 13 2008, 03:18 PM']My personal bane: Support bands that overrun and then wander off stage after their set without bothering to move their gear out of your way and then get arsey when you move one of their guitars.[/quote]

How about support bands that leave immediately after their set, taking all their gear with them that they'd told you and the promoter that you could borrow? It was only one guitar amp, and the sound man had a store room packed with tasty amps, but the band in question were meant to be headlining, turned up late for soundcheck and announced that they'd sold no tickets. And they'd sneaked all their gear out while the promoter was working her arse off trying to get stuff sorted out and not tell her that they were leaving. Unsurprisingly they were an arrogant bunch because they'd got to the quarter-finals of some Battle of the Bands.

[Phaedrus]

[quote name='coasterbass' post='197885' date='May 13 2008, 12:30 PM']- Tucking in to the between-set buffet to the extent that you can't sing and want to sleep.[/quote]

[Oscar South]

Also I hate charity gigs where some overzealous staff member tries to rope you into trying every attraction at the same time as the organiser is asking when you'll start playing. Not the most common situation but annoying nonetheless.