Dr.Dave Posted December 9, 2012 Share Posted December 9, 2012 Just a heads-up to all giggers. This is now the time of year to expect the remnants of works parties and the like to be wandering into gigs well seshed. The type that don't go out much and are therefore far too hammered and likely to cause bands a problem. If you don't have proper roadies - see if you can take a couple of mates along to the next couple of weeks gigs to watch your backs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spike Vincent Posted December 9, 2012 Share Posted December 9, 2012 Wise words,I've had more than a few problems with the amatuer inebriated at xmas. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
discreet Posted December 9, 2012 Share Posted December 9, 2012 +1, particularly the 'can my mate have a go on your bass?' scenario. (No, feck off out of it). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TimR Posted December 9, 2012 Share Posted December 9, 2012 [quote name='discreet' timestamp='1355067783' post='1893576'] +1, particularly the 'can my mate have a go on your bass?' scenario. (No, feck off out of it). [/quote] What? Even if he used to be in a band who were really good and used to do tours and stuff? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyf Posted December 9, 2012 Share Posted December 9, 2012 Spooky. Talking about the very same situation earlier on today. I had a couple of mates doing gigs last night who had incidents involving p*ssed up "it's alright mate, just having a larf"ers. Would have been gigging Friday and last night if it wasn't for various reasons but I'm doing a couple more next weekend. TBH, I'm not as enthusiastic now. lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
discreet Posted December 9, 2012 Share Posted December 9, 2012 [quote name='TimR' timestamp='1355068486' post='1893588'] ...Even if he used to be in a band who were really good and used to do tours and stuff?[/quote] [i]Especially[/i] not then. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
merlin Posted December 9, 2012 Share Posted December 9, 2012 love them,...not.. why do they stand in the doorways and block every exit, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chris_b Posted December 9, 2012 Share Posted December 9, 2012 We had 2 drunken women at the gig last night. One nearly pitched head first into the drum kit and the other, fortunately, collapsed and had to be carried out before she got anywhere near us. I'm in favour of excess in all things but don't do it on 4" heels. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oopsdabassist Posted December 9, 2012 Share Posted December 9, 2012 [quote name='chris_b' timestamp='1355070766' post='1893626'] I'm in favour of excess in all things but don't do it on 4" heels. [/quote] Wise Words..I'll stick to me cubans! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lozz196 Posted December 9, 2012 Share Posted December 9, 2012 [quote name='merlin' timestamp='1355069772' post='1893612'] love them,...not.. why do they stand in the doorways and block every exit, [/quote] People feel safe in doorways. No idea why, if someone has a pop at you in a doorway you have less room in which to deal with them. But it`s not just drunks, people seem fearful of open space, even loading into the pub, if there`s a narrow space in there, that`s where people will congeregate. And very wise words from Dr Dave, tis indeed the the time of year when The Amateur Oliver Reeds are out in force, clogging up the bars whilst they contemplate how much a white wine spritzer is, and generally being a paininthearse to all people who know how to use a pub properly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marvin Posted December 9, 2012 Share Posted December 9, 2012 [quote name='Dr.Dave' timestamp='1355061746' post='1893474'] The type that don't go out much and are therefore far too hammered [/quote] As good a reason as any not to go out over Christmas and New Year full stop (unless you are gigging, and being paid handsomely for it of course). Gave up on the pub at Christmas some time ago when I started loosing more pints due to 'once a year' drinkers than I was managing to actually drink. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flyfisher Posted December 9, 2012 Share Posted December 9, 2012 [quote name='Lozz196' timestamp='1355082211' post='1893852'] People feel safe in doorways. No idea why, . . . . . [/quote] Good place to stand in case of an earthquake, or so I've read somewhere. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrismuzz Posted December 9, 2012 Share Posted December 9, 2012 Good advice bro. Last gig I did some bloke came up to our lead guitarist, accused him of chatting up his missus, and threatened to snap his cock in half it's a good thing I'm the cheekiest git around after a few beers or he wouldn't have got ridiculously embarrassed at his questionable threat and walked off... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lozz196 Posted December 9, 2012 Share Posted December 9, 2012 (edited) [quote name='chrismuzz' timestamp='1355092950' post='1894027'] Good advice bro. Last gig I did some bloke came up to our lead guitarist, accused him of chatting up his missus, and threatened to snap his cock in half it's a good thing I'm the cheekiest git around after a few beers or he wouldn't have got ridiculously embarrassed at his questionable threat and walked off... [/quote] I hope you asked if he wanted to do that so that the guitarists cock would then be the same size as his, as he obviously had a penis envy situation going on? Edited December 9, 2012 by Lozz196 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrismuzz Posted December 9, 2012 Share Posted December 9, 2012 [quote name='Lozz196' timestamp='1355093329' post='1894031'] I hope you asked if he wanted to do that so that the guitarists cock would then be the same size as his, as he obviously had a penis envy situation going on? [/quote] God dammit, I wish i could think of stuff like this at the time Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JapanAxe Posted December 10, 2012 Share Posted December 10, 2012 One of the most hazardous manouevres executed by drunkards is the rear somersault over the wedge monitor. One is obliged to step smartly backwards. Bad luck if one has pedals on the floor, cares about one's wedge monitors, or has nowhere to step smartly back to! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daz Posted December 10, 2012 Share Posted December 10, 2012 (edited) [quote name='discreet' timestamp='1355067783' post='1893576'] +1, particularly the 'can my mate have a go on your bass?' scenario. (No, feck off out of it). [/quote] I know! Would anyone go up to a tuba player or a violinist after a concert and ask to have 'a go' on the instrument? What is it they makes people (with or without alcohol) think that its ok to ask this. I remember once many decades ago at one of my few proper gigs. A guy we knew came up to us as we were finishing the encore and asked for a go at singing. The singer looked at us with a mischievous grin and handed over the mike. He knew we would have to go along with it, as the would be singer had a reputation for being a bit of a loon, although we all got on fine with him. We wanted to keep it that way. So we started playing 'Louie Louie' (what else?) Well it went on and on and he showed no sign of giving up. So after 15 minutes or so the guitarist can stand no more of the catawailing. He unplugs his guitar and walks quickly away. A few minutes later, our new 'singer' took a swig of the constant companion pint that he was clutching all through this. I took my chance and legged it.! By the time the cabs were registering a loud 'POP' I was safely in the much thinned 'crowd'. So. There was the drummer and the singer carrying on alone. Guitarist and me bought pints and watched gleefully the extremely pissed off drummer and his [i]accompanist.[/i] After a further few minutes the drummer just smashed the sticks down and storms off. Singer just carries on oblivious for several minutes. Fortunately a coughing fit made the crowd think it had finished and he got a huge ironic round of applause. His face lights up at this as he realized it was for him. He announces "our next number will be Smoke on the water." He turns around to confirm this with [i]'his'[/i] band, who were all by now standing in front of the stage. ( I say[i] stage, [/i]it was in fact just 10 or 12 inches higher than the floor) Our own singer was also now starting to regret causing it in the first place, by handing over his very expensive German mike After several stunned seconds of finding himself alone, he looks rather puzzled and disappointed and says. 'Maybe next time' He stumbles off the stage towards us and says "Thanks for the chance lads" and to our vocalist "It's OK, don't be jealous. I wasn't trying to take your gig man. Im starting me own band" Edited December 10, 2012 by daz Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BassTractor Posted December 10, 2012 Share Posted December 10, 2012 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr.Dave Posted December 10, 2012 Author Share Posted December 10, 2012 It's the twat that wandered up to my mic stand on Sat night mid song , took my pint out of it's holder and necked it that minded me to start this thread. What a pillock. Our roadie saw him off , thankfully . Marc just said to him - 'that bloke who's property you just stole in front of his nose to look big in front of your mates ....... he's going to keep smiling and entertaining these other good folk for another 45 minutes then he's gonna come down here and beat f*** out of you in front of them while we all laugh , you stupid little prick'. He papped himself and fled !!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karlfer Posted December 10, 2012 Share Posted December 10, 2012 [quote name='Dr.Dave' timestamp='1355141838' post='1894484'] It's the twat that wandered up to my mic stand on Sat night mid song , took my pint out of it's holder and necked it that minded me to start this thread. What a pillock. Our roadie saw him off , thankfully . Marc just said to him - 'that bloke who's property you just stole in front of his nose to look big in front of your mates ....... he's going to keep smiling and entertaining these other good folk for another 45 minutes then he's gonna come down here and beat f*** out of you in front of them while we all laugh , you stupid little prick'. He papped himself and fled !!!! [/quote] Brilliant Can we borrow Marc Dave Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Norris Posted December 10, 2012 Share Posted December 10, 2012 Friday night we had 3 different people ask "Can I have a go on your drums?". None of them could stand up straight. The funniest bit though was when the guitarist started playing Smoke on the Water - Dum dum dum, dum dum de-dum, dum dum... [b]<silence>[/b] He looked down to see a girl lying flat on her back sprawled across his pedal board. Luckily she had fallen on his tuner pedal and muted the signal. She must've had some nice bruises the next day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bremen Posted December 10, 2012 Share Posted December 10, 2012 [quote name='karlfer' timestamp='1355142474' post='1894493'] Brilliant Can we borrow Marc Dave [/quote] Never mind borrowing Marc, we need to borrow Dave Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr.Dave Posted December 10, 2012 Author Share Posted December 10, 2012 (edited) [quote name='karlfer' timestamp='1355142474' post='1894493'] Brilliant Can we borrow Marc Dave [/quote] If you can feed him - you can borrow him !!!!!!!!!!! He's just the best guy. Our Drummer's son. Enormous great lad with a heart of gold. He dropped straight into the vibe of the band. First time his Dad introduced up I just looked him up and down , deadpan , and said 'I'm not fighting that til I hear it talk'. Marc creased up and we've all been blood brothers ever since. Edited December 10, 2012 by Dr.Dave Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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