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Playing at my own wedding


Gazm
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Had some friends play as we walked up the isle , sax, keys, guitar and conga

Then after the vows, I joined in on bass to play "your the best thing" Gladys Knight, whilst my wife stood there (had a female friend sing it)

All went well, though playing in front of a crowd full of friends and family after the ceremony was slightly different to a normal gig

Wouldnt think playing in a band at your own reception would be a good Idea, at least for me, but might suit others

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Some good advice so far especially

[quote name='flyfisher' timestamp='1360601024' post='1973112']
I don't see any particular problem about gigging at your own wedding . . . . . but it might be wise to steer clear of the groupies.
[/quote]

I'm still undecided but do think 2 hours will be too much.

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I'm going to a long time friends (school) soon. There will be a lot of muso's there so there will be bands playing and other musical stuff. I think it's an extraordinarily bad idea. It turns the wedding into a gig, diverts attention from the bride (and in reality it's her day). Plus it means people have to focus on what's going on and detracts from what a wedding should be, a celebration.

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[quote name='Lord Sausage' timestamp='1360613625' post='1973498']
I'm going to a long time friends (school) soon. There will be a lot of muso's there so there will be bands playing and other musical stuff. I think it's an extraordinarily bad idea. It turns the wedding into a gig, diverts attention from the bride (and in reality it's her day). Plus it means people have to focus on what's going on and detracts from what a wedding should be, a celebration.
[/quote]
Depends on what she (and the groom) wants!

We didn't really want a formal or traditional wedding, so we held the reception in a brewery (her idea), printed the invitations on beer mats and put on a curry for the guests! Basically it was just a big party and we got loads of friends to play short sets so everyone could enjoy the night rather than playing all night!

It was great fun and went better than we could have hoped. Several people said that it was the best wdding they had ever been to and could they come to the next one....

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Is it just me or is this whole idea ridicilous?? The biggest day of your life (and your wifes life) and you're playing in the band?!? Hmmm.... very strange to me. I could see the point of doing perhaps 2 or 3 tunes if you sang or played guitar - just a bit of entertainment for the attendees, but playing anything even close to a full set is so daft! IMO of course!

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Okay, I'll take the opposite view. A wedding should be about the celebration of a union and a chance for friends and family to catch up and party. To put a halt to that so everyone can "look at what I do!" seems a tad tacky. So if you do -- one song. Say thank you. And let the band do their job.

P.S. i was also asked if I would play and sing at my son's wedding to which my reply was "The day is not about me."

Oh, and one other thing. That may be the only chance the most important people in your life hear you and they will be doing so under less than ideal conditions.

Think about it.

Edited by Lowender
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[quote name='lefrash' timestamp='1360615034' post='1973528']
Is it just me or is this whole idea ridicilous?? The biggest day of your life (and your wifes life) and you're playing in the band?!? Hmmm.... very strange to me. I could see the point of doing perhaps 2 or 3 tunes if you sang or played guitar - just a bit of entertainment for the attendees, but playing anything even close to a full set is so daft! IMO of course!
[/quote]
[quote name='Lowender' timestamp='1360619422' post='1973637']
Okay, I'll take the opposite view. A wedding should be about the celebration of a union and a chance for friends and family to catch up and party. To put a halt to that so everyone can "look at what I do!" seems a tad tacky. So if you do -- one song. Say thank you. And let the band do their job.

P.S. i was also asked if I would play and sing at my son's wedding to which my reply was "The day is not about me."

Oh, and one other thing. That may be the only chance the most important people in your life hear you and they will be doing so under less than ideal conditions.

Think about it.
[/quote]

That's me told. :)

FWIW, Mrs. WoT & I have a lot of musical friends, and our relatives are interested in what we do. We did about 45 minutes with different people getting up to do a bit - we had fun, doing what we do with our pals. And after that, the 'real' band finished the night off. I'd consider it a success...

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[quote name='wateroftyne' timestamp='1360621876' post='1973704']
That's me told. :)

FWIW, Mrs. WoT & I have a lot of musical friends, and our relatives are interested in what we do. We did about 45 minutes with different people getting up to do a bit - we had fun, doing what we do with our pals. And after that, the 'real' band finished the night off. I'd consider it a success...
[/quote]
Similar thing with me and my good lady - it was a great night, no one had to be on stage for too long and everybody had fun!

Job done....

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Playing mine too! In April. The future missus Scalpy is our singer. Not about about look at we can do, that's terrible musicianship for starters, it's about saying thank you to everyone for being part of lives in the most meaningful and articulate way we can. Mustang Sally by the way, is not in the set!

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I had one of the covers bands I dep in play our wedding last year and joined them for a couple of tracks.

I also butchered God Only Knows on my own singing and playing acoustic before hand. People clapped but I think it was mostly because they felt obliged :lol:

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I apparently 'played' at my wedding but I was totally wasted - not a good idea!

We had a band in who were happy for me and the lads in the band to get up and do a couple of numbers later on which was a laugh. We did the same thing for our singers wedding.

If you are pretty well know for being in a band and all your family are there (who dont see you gig elsewhere) they are going to pressure you into playing at some point even just one or two songs. I would not consider stepping in for a couple showing off, people will enjoy it and as I said probably accept it. A full gig may be a little different.

With the band there happy for us to use their gear etc for a couple of songs made it much more relaxing and not too much for people.

There will be loads of people wanting to speak to you and the mrs (especially evening guests) have a good think about the time out it will take setting up etc if you want to do a big set.

Most of all just enjoy it - and dont get too smashed!

Edited by Rustyhornpipe
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I would get a band in, with the proviso that each of your bands (and you) gets to play a couple as well.

It a your big day and you might want to be talking to the people who have come to share it with you, rather than being stuck on the stage. Also your band mates might prefer to just do a bit and enjoy the rest of the day with out having the worry of performing.

Do you know a band that you're friendly with but don't play in, that you could get in for the event?

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I think in this situation one needs to be very honest with oneself as to how much the guests are likely to enjoy the performances. If the band is really good, and the guests are largely within their "target demographic" then I'd go for it. But putting guests in the position where they feel obliged to pretend to be enjoying your set because it's your big day isn't fair to them, or to the rest of the band.

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I recently played at my 50th birthday. I am the singer too so I played the first hour then a pal took over on bass and I had named mates singing individual songs for the second set. Was absolutely ace, after my stint, I relaxed and got squiffy while the guest singers and bassist rocked out. Definitely woud do that again. They all loved it.

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