Things to say at mic sound checks...

[witterth]

I Know we all do the usual 1....2... etc.... and the comedic genius always impresses his mates by yelling "THREE FOUR!!!" back
( did you hear what I said then great mates??!? aren't I bloody great at comedy, great mates?? , GOD I'm so FUNNY!!)
so Ballarks to him
I was thinking of suggestions along the lines of summat an old mate used to do, thusly
" Mary had a little Lamb
she also had
a Duck
she put them on the mantlepiece to see if they would,
Fff...fall off"
this used to make me smile

Now, I'm aware this is not lenny bruce or bill hicks standard of cutting edge comedy, but the sound engineer, as was ( he was a good one) used to say for a quick line check, it was long enough, and had enough sibilant words for EQing.( if you said Boom Boom on the end)
so any other suggestions for that type of thing that will shut up the "gig git" ?
(even for a second)
Heckler put downs will do, as well mine are really too old
(Eg "good evening ladies,... did you come together?...........I'd like to have seen that"..... brum tish)
see what I mean?TOO OLD!!
help me out here
W

[tonyquipment]

LEEEEEEROY JENKINS

[witterth]

[quote name='tonyquipment' timestamp='1369399419' post='2088762']
LEEEEEEROY JENKINS
[/quote]
Not with you....?
Thought you may have suggested "DAN......DAN!!......DAN!!!.....DAN..." ect

[tonyquipment]

HAHAHA YES IT'S AN EXTENDER!

[witterth]

[quote name='tonyquipment' timestamp='1369400416' post='2088784']
HAHAHA YES IT'S AN EXTENDER!
[/quote]
You want to open a window in that room your'e painting there Tony!

[Gust0o]

"Not a Rickenbacker copy"

[Bassman Sam]

Mary had a little pig
It would not stop it's grunting
She took in the shed one day
and kicked it's f@*king c**t in.

Use with caution.

[Lozz196]

Chicken in a basket, two fat ladies, two little ducks, any mindless rubbish.

And my fave - bellow "Change" as loud as possible, in honour of JJ Burnell.

[Dave Vader]

used to just shout piss off down it, as that marvellous combination of letter gets you a nice check for pops.

Now I berate the engineer and say come on, is it not right yet? Really, you should have sorted that out by now, etc. etc.

[woodster]

Icicles....
Bicycles....
Monacles....
Test.....ing......

[ezbass]

Icicles, bicycles, test.....ing

I'll often sing something to get a realistic level.

[ezbass]

[quote name='woodster' timestamp='1369402874' post='2088829']
Icicles....
Bicycles....
Monacles....
Test.....ing......
[/quote]Just beat me to it, drat!

[BILL POSTERS]

Heard "Flying doctor to Walaboola base" a few times.

Myself I try and be proffessional about it, and just sing Some enchanted evening, loud and vey badly.

[RockfordStone]

it depends on what mood im in, normally i do the one, one two and sing to get a level, but sometimes i throw dumb sh*t in like "the train leaving platform 3 is delayed due to leaves on the line" in a station announcer voice

[Cat Burrito]

My guitarist has a habit of saying "yes" repeatedly in a series of changing funny voices. My old drummer stole the show by speaking backwards into the mic and then suggesting that the sound engineer had plugged it in wrong - bless her, she checked!

[Cameronj279]

"Anybody want to hear a joke about a nun and a bottle of whiskey"

[LiamPodmore]

2 crackers i once saw, from a band we were supporting. "One two, one two, one two three four five, once i caught a fish alive etc..." and the other one, the guy just shouted Freestyle and went into a 30 second improvised rap.

Liam

[Simon.]

Mary had a long black skirt
With a slit right up the side
And when she wore it
The boys could see her thighs...

Mary had another skirt
With a slit right up the front
But she didn't wear that one very often!

[bertbass]

Mary had a little lamb,
She kept it in a bucket,
And every time the lamb got out,
Her dog it tried to, put it back in again.

[bartelby]

[quote name='tonyquipment' timestamp='1369399419' post='2088762']
LEEEEEEROY JENKINS
[/quote]

You shout my mate's name?
Weird...

[danthevan]

Words that start with T's or CH's.
Tit, twat, chuff etc

[KingBollock]

Mary had a little lamb
She tied it to a pylon
Ten thousand volts went up its arse
And turned its wool to nylon

[Dr.Dave]

Tap mic to see if it's on - adopt grumpy Yorkshire accent and bellow ' stop fiddling wi them f***in knobs , f***in 'bar's open '.

[niceguyhomer]

[b]Ricicles, bicycles, test.................................................ing 123[/b]

[Truckstop]

I just tap it and say 'yeah, it works'.

Truckstop