Things to say at mic sound checks...

[steve-bbb]

is this thing working?

[WalMan]

Oneskin
Twoskin
Threeskin

Edited May 24, 2013 by WalMan

[51m0n]

Very loudly:-

She Sells Sea Shells On The Sea Shore,
Peter Piper Picked a Peck of Picled Peppers,
She Sells Sea Shells On The Sea Shore,
Peter Piper Picked a Peck of Picled Peppers,
She Sells Sea Shells On The Sea Shore,
Peter Piper Picked a Peck of Picled Peppers,
She Sells Sea Shells On The Sea Shore,
Peter Piper Picked a Peck of Picled Peppers...

All the 'plosives and sibilence you could ever need

[lojo]

"is it working yet" bang bang.

[51m0n]

Also makie sure you put your hand palm down over the end io fthe mic you speak into (the ball on an SM58)

This effectively changes the polar respons of the mic, making it more omni directional and thus tending to bring on feedback if its close, better to do it in the souncheck than when you stick your gob right on the mic to sing and release the squeally noise fairies into the night.

[arthurhenry]

"One, two, one, two, I really, really want to."

Or sing Gothic 17 by Bill Bruford

[daz]

knickers knackers christmas crackers.

[Roger2611]

Oi Dave there's smoke coming out the p a, should I call the fire brigade.....tends to get us a bit of quiet for a couple of seconds

[witterth]

[quote name='BurritoBass' timestamp='1369403708' post='2088846']
My guitarist has a habit of saying "yes" repeatedly in a series of changing funny voices. My old drummer stole the show by speaking backwards into the mic and then suggesting that the sound engineer had plugged it in wrong - bless her, she checked!
[/quote]
Thats exactly the sort of thing I was looking for!

[witterth]

[quote name='Simon.' timestamp='1369404186' post='2088855']
Mary had a long black skirt
With a slit right up the side
And when she wore it
The boys could see her thighs...

Mary had another skirt
With a slit right up the front
But she didn't wear that one very often!
[/quote]
now thats where I'm coming from!

[seashell]

When I was in the Sudan (I love starting a post with that phrase, lol), I used to live next to a mosque with an amplification system for the call to prayer.
On a Friday morning we would be awoken by the sound of a finger tapping and a bloke saying 'wahed, wahed' into the mic. 'Wahed' being the Arabic for 'one'.
My Irish housemates and I would have a little chuckle at this, as an example of the universal language of sound checking.
So on the rare occasions that I have to check a mic, I tend to find myself saying 'wahed, wahed'! :-)

[witterth]

[quote name='51m0n' timestamp='1369410810' post='2089011']
Also makie sure you put your hand palm down over the end io fthe mic you speak into (the ball on an SM58)

This effectively changes the polar respons of the mic, making it more omni directional and thus tending to bring on feedback if its close, better to do it in the souncheck than when you stick your gob right on the mic to sing and release the squeally noise fairies into the night.
[/quote]
that would be good wouldn't it

[Moog]

Testes, testes, 1...2.....3!?? (Thanks Beavis and Butthead)

[TimR]

How many sound engineers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One, two, one, two...

[chrismuzz]

"Testicles 1, 2" always makes me chuckle. I'm so simple minded

[Mornats]

[quote name='tonyquipment' timestamp='1369399419' post='2088762']
LEEEEEEROY JENKINS
[/quote]

I get it At least I'm not chicken!

[witterth]

[quote name='Mornats' timestamp='1369438344' post='2089407']
I get it At least I'm not chicken!
[/quote]
I don't get it, sorry, am I being daft?

[Mornats]

[quote name='witterth' timestamp='1369439991' post='2089416']
I don't get it, sorry, am I being daft?
[/quote]

It's a popular meme amongst those who play a certain massively multiplayer online role-playing game

[Lfalex v1.1]

[quote name='Moog' timestamp='1369430263' post='2089316']
Testes, testes, 1...2.....3!?? (Thanks Beavis and Butthead)
[/quote]

Would've been my suggestion also...

[Oopsdabassist]

[quote name='Mornats' timestamp='1369480373' post='2089644']
It's a popular meme amongst those who play a certain massively multiplayer online role-playing game
[/quote]

Its a World Of Warcraft reference to player who was away from his computer while his group leader was explaining tactics for an upcoming boss fight, upon his return, he screamed his name across the internet, charged into the fight totally unprepared and caused everyone to die horribly, luckily someone was recording and the whole episode was flashed round the WWW for posterity.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LkCNJRfSZBU


the guy is a world class hero for being such a plank, and the game makers even put his name to a reward you can earn in the game!

[rOB]

edit for lack of humour Edited May 25, 2013 by rOB

[JapanAxe]

As it is more helpful to sing something rather than just speak, I like to do a verse of Postman Pat:

Postman Pat, Postman Pat
Postman Pat ran over his cat
Blood and guts were flying, Postman Pat was crying
I've never seen a cat as flat as that

[No fictional animals were harmed before or during the submission of this post. Can't make any promises about afterwards though.]

[Count Bassy]

Bicycle clips!

[johnDeereJack]

I always do bits of 'F**k Her Gently' by Tenacious D. It totally annoys our singer and she tries to stop me singing it without fail!
I'm just a big bairn at heart!