bass and it's effects on marriages

[Prime_BASS]

[quote name='W11ATO' timestamp='1369894800' post='2093961']
Bass certainly had an influence in the breakdown of my first marriage 12 years ago. We'd been living together 5 years so had all the usuall "wedding gift list" stuff, washers, toasters etc etc so invited cash gifts instead.......I spent a good chunk of it on a '88 Warwick streamer and a new trace elliot rig......things were never quite the same again :-0
[/quote]

Priorities.

I can already feel the resentment my partner has for me when I have band things going on, and the eyes roll whenever I mention something new coming in.

[neepheid]

The only warning shot across the bows I've received is that I will be divorced if I ever bring home a pointy bass. Hence I refer to anything as pointy or pointier than a Flying V as a "divorce bass"

Other than that it's cool - my wife is a singing teacher with professional qualifications and a better musician than I. She sees the bigger picture and has encouraged me to buy basses, offered useful critique of stuff I've written, dragged me up on stage in the first place so quite simply I wouldn't be the bass player I am today without her. I do what I can to help and support her in her opera singing aspirations (mostly logistical assistance and moral support )

Any occasional grumpiness about band stuff seems to stem from a desire to spend time with me, so I can't really complain about that, can I?

[DogHammer]

Wasn't married, but have had a split with a long term girlfriend due to spending all my time practising, at practice or just concentrating on music.

I think alot of it is finding the right partner who is willing to accept that being a musician isn't just a hobby for alot of people. It really can be the main part of your life. Or, just stick to groupies.

[EliasMooseblaster]

We're not married, though my other half was with me in the shop when I tried the most recent purchase (Hagstrom 8-string). When it came to a decision, she was the one going, "yes, but it does look lovely, doesn't it? And you know how rare 8-strings are..."

(Definitely a keeper!)

[bassace]

At first things were a bit difficult because I had weekend gigs and that meant we couldn't socialise much with all our friends. So I saw the writing on the wall and gave the whole thing up - for fifteen years. Now 46 years down the line we're very happily still together, I do lots of gigs and have lots of gear all with Mrs B's approval. So I suppose the moral is get your investment in early and it'll pay off later.

[FinnDave]

My second wife was very anti-bass, she used to say that if I started playing in bands again, I'd be out late in clubs, meet younger, prettier women and want them instead of her. I honoured her wishes and put the playing on hold, but did end up leaving her for a younger, prettier woman, so I guess she had a point!

Number three is very supportive of my playing and encourages me to buy more and play in bands. She doesn't seem to have the worries #2 had, or maybe she is smart enough to realize that I am getting past the stage of attracting younger, prettier women, etc!

[SpaceChick]

[quote name='EliasMooseblaster' timestamp='1369907662' post='2094196']
We're not married, though my other half was with me in the shop when I tried the most recent purchase (Hagstrom 8-string). When it came to a decision, she was the one going, "yes, but it does look lovely, doesn't it? And you know how rare 8-strings are..."

(Definitely a keeper!)
[/quote]

My hubby was meant to play "bad cop" in my negotiations for my last bass..... He was rubbish at it and said "I think you should have it".

He's very supportive of my playing and gigs but equally I'm also supportive of his photography (even when he's doing art nude shoots and away for weekends with young attractive models who are happy taking their kit off.... Am I mad! LOL!)

[JamesBass]

Not married although the thought of proposing is in my mind, it has been ever since I met my current better half! But back to the story,

My first girlfriend had HUGE attachment issues, I couldn't turn my phone off at practice without her going batshit crazy on me plus all the usual "You'll meet prettier girls than me, they'll get you drunk at gigs and you'll sleep with them" First off we were bloody well 16 and second my band were so bloody intermittent that it was a waste of time trying to book gigs! She got the old boot out the door!

Second girlfriend I met at work and she seemed interested in the fact I played bass and did music until she learnt that it wasn't club music, what then pushed her even more was the fact that I was saving up for a new amp and a new bass and when she saw the prices you went crazy about it so she got the boot as well!

Now that I'm with my current girlfriend, been two years together now, anniversary at the beginning of May, she's loved the fact I'm creative and in a band and doing something that I love and not going out down the pub all the time, luckily band practices fall on days where we both have other commitments and she loves coming to the gigs! She encourages me to buy the stuff I want as she now understands it's my way of making money where I'm unemployed and trying to push my band on to getting signed! Given time I will be marrying this one, unless some drastic things happen!

[megallica]

[quote name='SpaceChick' timestamp='1369909191' post='2094234']
My hubby was meant to play "bad cop" in my negotiations for my last bass..... He was rubbish at it and said "I think you should have it".

He's very supportive of my playing and gigs but equally I'm also supportive of his photography (even when he's doing art nude shoots and away for weekends with young attractive models who are happy taking their kit off.... Am I mad! LOL!)
[/quote]

Does he need an assistant?

I don't know much about photography but I'm a fast learner with a photographic memory

[Clarky]

Met Mrs C in 1987, so nearly up to 26 years. I play bass, she cooks sea bass, maybe there's our common bond?

Edited May 30, 2013 by Clarky

[Cat Burrito]

[quote name='Clarky' timestamp='1369910801' post='2094276']I play bass, she cooks sea bass, maybe there's our common bond?
[/quote]

And in one simple sentence I now know why I got divorced!

[Norris]

I've owned some of my basses for longer than I've been married so it's a matter of precedence - last in, first out

Seriously, it will be our 20th wedding anniversary next year and Mrs Norris encouraged me in my latest purchase, so she seems to be a 'keeper' too

[SpaceChick]

[quote name='iceonaboy' timestamp='1369912587' post='2094300']


Join the queue mate!
[/quote]

I know... It's nice work (for a heterosexual male or homosexual female I guess) if you can get it

I'm very proud of his work, but I am his moral compass which grades his photos and stops him from accidentally publishing any soft porn! He needs to keep in arty! LOL!

I shall tell him that he has a host of potential photography assistants on Basschat

Although I guess when he's doing his moody landscape work and getting up at stupid o'clock for the right lighting that he wont have a queue of helpers then

Edited May 30, 2013 by SpaceChick

[RockfordStone]

my other half would most likely dump me if i gave up bass because id be more of a miserable git than i am now

[KevB]

I'm doing a wedding gig on Saturday and I think the groom may be a musician. Maybe I should tell them the odds are really stacked against them between a couple of the songs? Then again I would like to actually get paid at the end of the evening...

[Paulgm1]

Priorities isn't it. I've been married 22 years and a bass player for 30 years but at the end of last year immediately dropped out of a band when i sensed that the rehersal schedule wasn't working for the family life. Found a great new band now that fits the home life. Happy all round!

[dry_stone]

We have been together 25 years, and to be honest we have been very supportive of each other's pastimes and interests; this is possibly why we have such a happy and enduring relationship. I must admit that have tried over that time, but failed miserably, to persuade her to learn the guitar, bass or drums so we can jam together.

I don't watch much television at all, so if there is something she fancies watching I just go through to another room, pick up a bass or guitar, turn the amp on, plug in the headphones and lose play for an hour or so.

[tauzero]

I've been back with Mrs Zero for nine years now (our first time round was in 1977-1978) and bass is no problem - she sings with one of the bands and as 50% of a duo with me on guitar. Mrs Zero the first was quite supportive of me, although I bought my first Warwick after we split up so I never learnt how she'd have felt about that, and Mrs Zero the second went from a bit interested to complete disinterest - which actually suited me fine as taking an unpredictable alcoholic along to gigs would have been a serious embarrassment.

[Twigman]

I split up - the start of the breakdown seems to have coincided with the reformation of the band which was not operating when we met.....a correllation?

[Roger2611]

Mrs2611 is quite happy with me being a musician, it was part of what attracted her to me in the first place, she comes along to most of the gigs and makes it a social thing with the other wags, so no issues there, however since I discovered Basschat she has mentioned it being like the other woman and we may as well be devorced.....Gee I love you guys you'll never leave me will you

[seashell]

I used to live with a drummer.
Now I live with 2 basses and a cat.
I love my life.

[AndyTravis]

The mother of my daughter and I separated after 7/8 years, a lot of that could be linked with time away from home playing, buying gear, selling gear etc.

Anyhow, the day I put the entire bass collection up for sale on here was a sign.

Anyhow, 2 hard years later, met up with a lady I've known since we were both at school, and in August we're getting married.

She's currently shouting at me because I'm stuck between a Stingray Classic and a Sabre reissue, and after the wedding she's buying me an orange bass rig and 'sending me put playing' because our reacquaintince came when she watched me at a sell out gig in Manchester...

I left the band to spend time with my daughter, Jen and her son Dan.

It's ace, looking forward to being her husband.

[wateroftyne]

I couldn't handle being with someone who resents my hobby. Life's to short to spend it watching Britain's got talent on the settee every Saturday night with a takeaway. Bugger that.

[lurksalot]

When I got married , I had no kit at all, it had long gone , but as stories go Mrs Lurks recalled some of the bass telling and asked the neighbour to pick one and she bought it for my birthday , as time goes by , said neighbour needs a bass player for his band , and yours truly steps up, I have moved to a different band since , but we all know who to blame when the issue of bass playing crops up . I think she is relatively supportive, though likes the occassional comment when stuff gets delivered , but as I keep explaining, it is a relatively inexpensive hobby, fund generating and probably less time consuming than the likes of golf etc

[Grangur]

[quote name='bluejay' timestamp='1369859524' post='2093721']
Aw, bless - it was the exact opposite in my case. If there was one thing I had started disliking about the ex, before he walked out, was that his guitar playing had been relegated to occasional hobby, as opposed to the previous almost constant rehearsing and gigging. He had simply grown bored with it. (So it wasn't only me he was bored with, then!)

So yes, another bass player (me) involved in a split. But I became a bass player after the split! Which way does that push the statistics' result?
[/quote]
+1 The first Mrs G laughed at my playing and told me I was useless at it. I stopped playing for our 24 year marriage.
Then as the 2nd Mrs G was a keys player I picked it up again and I'm getting better than ever thanks to her support and encouragement. [size=4] [/size]