bass and it's effects on marriages

[Dom in Dorset]

I have recently separated (amicably) from my wife, no drama, no third parties, just after 25 years we've grown apart, no hidden underlying cause... or so I thought...
I was just round at a friend's house and apparently they know six couples in and around our small town who have all recently split up, all of these couples contained a bass player.

[SpaceChick]

Blimey!!!!

I hope its not a continuing trend.... The cost of a divorce would really hinder my bass expenditure

[arthurhenry]

[quote name='Dom in Somerset' timestamp='1369850650' post='2093535']
I have recently separated (amicably) from my wife, no drama, no third parties, just after 25 years we've grown apart, no hidden underlying cause... or so I thought...
I was just round at a friend's house and apparently they know six couples in and around our small town who have all recently split up, all of these couples contained a bass player.
[/quote]
The same one?

[Lfalex v1.1]

Hold on. Let's just put this in its correct context.
I've been playing bass 3 times longer than I've been married...

[thumperbob 2002]

My wife and I will stay together forever. She has always known me as a gigging musician. Not something she has to deal with. Mind you I am gigging 25% if the time I used to.

And I am a millionaire

[Hobbayne]

Mrs Hobbaynes still here!

[yepmop]

Playing this instrument is not the bassist of a good marriage then?

Coat and hat on..........

[SpaceChick]

[quote name='yepmop' timestamp='1369854946' post='2093622']
Playing this instrument is not the bassist of a good marriage then?

Coat and hat on..........
[/quote]

Groans and giggles

[RhysP]

Divorce rates for musicians (professional ones at least) have always been extremely high.

[Cat Burrito]

I separated and quickly divorced in the last 3 years after a 17yr relationship. I don't think it's a bass thing but I definitely think if I wasn't so into music I would have been better in the relationship. The fact that I don't regret it suggests it probably wasn't the best marriage anyway. Cost me a few instruments just to keep things afloat but again it finally cured the GAS!

[John Schoen]

The statisctics here might be a bit skewed; I think that more than 90% of the divorcees that you meet on this forum are bass players.

[Truckstop]

[quote name='arthurhenry' timestamp='1369850953' post='2093542']

The same one?
[/quote]

Nice

[Left Foot]

The ex really didn't have a hobby and that made her annoyed when I had band/music things going on. Now its just viewed as a bit of a waste of money.

[Phil Adams]

[quote name='Dom in Somerset' timestamp='1369850650' post='2093535']
I have recently separated (amicably) from my wife, no drama, no third parties, just after 25 years we've grown apart, no hidden underlying cause... or so I thought...
I was just round at a friend's house and apparently they know six couples in and around our small town who have all recently split up, all of these couples contained a bass player.
[/quote]
I survived 28 years before it happened to me. I did have 2 bass then, but seldom played. Felicity Fender wasn't named in the divorce proceedings as a co-respondent and I still have her, though she has now been joined by my other lovers.
Seriously, 25 years seems to signal the end of the line for many. Kids grown, mortgage paid, or nearly. Is this all there is to life........?

[Dom in Dorset]

[quote name='Phil Adams' timestamp='1369858561' post='2093704']
I survived 28 years before it happened to me. I did have 2 bass then, but seldom played. Felicity Fender wasn't named in the divorce proceedings as a co-respondent and I still have her, though she has now been joined by my other lovers.
Seriously, 25 years seems to signal the end of the line for many. Kids grown, mortgage paid, or nearly. Is this all there is to life........?
[/quote]
Yes, and music.

[Silvia Bluejay]

Aw, bless - it was the exact opposite in my case. If there was one thing I had started disliking about the ex, before he walked out, was that his guitar playing had been relegated to occasional hobby, as opposed to the previous almost constant rehearsing and gigging. He had simply grown bored with it. (So it wasn't only me he was bored with, then!)

So yes, another bass player (me) involved in a split. But I became a bass player after the split! Which way does that push the statistics' result?

[paul_5]

Wow. Who [i]wouldn't[/i] want to be married to a bassist though? We're sooooo goddamn sexy, good with our hands and can keep a steady rhythm...


...oh, and we know how to set up the PA too!

[DarkHeart]

so theres hope yet!

[chrismuzz]

My ex left me for a guitar player haha! She's his problem now. From what I hear he has only bought one guitar since she changed hands... I on the other hand purchased two basses, two pedals, and a bunch of accessories

[KingBollock]

I genuinely believe that my wife would be sad if I gave up the bass. Having said that, I don't play in a band or gig. I did ask her once how she'd feel if, say, I was in a band and had a gig in London that would require me being away for the weekend and she said she'd be fine with that. And then she suddenly went "Oh! Could I drive the van?". And she just happens to be the best driver I know, or at least the one I trust the most, and can drive anything from a forklift truck (she did have a proper license but they lapse don't they? So I don't think she has one at the moment) to a 36' long lorry.

10 years seems to be a common limit for marriages, I have known far too many people who divorced after 10 years. Scared me silly that did. I don't like the idea that there's gonna be another one in 10 years. Cigarettes is another one, I used to hear people telling me all the time they'd given up smoking for 10 years and started again. Well passed that now too, thankfully.

Edited May 29, 2013 by KingBollock

[BassTractor]

We split after 27 years, when I was only dreaming of playing the bass.
Does that count?

best,
bert

[W11ATO]

Bass certainly had an influence in the breakdown of my first marriage 12 years ago. We'd been living together 5 years so had all the usuall "wedding gift list" stuff, washers, toasters etc etc so invited cash gifts instead.......I spent a good chunk of it on a '88 Warwick streamer and a new trace elliot rig......things were never quite the same again :-0

[KingPrawn]

[quote name='Dom in Somerset' timestamp='1369850650' post='2093535']
I have recently separated (amicably) from my wife, no drama, no third parties, just after 25 years we've grown apart, no hidden underlying cause... or so I thought...
I was just round at a friend's house and apparently they know six couples in and around our small town who have all recently split up, all of these couples contained a bass player.
[/quote]

Theres hope for me yet

[yepmop]

Yep my first marriage eventually broke down due to music.I was "persuaded" that not to pursue it any further after the loss of a recording contract and the split up of the band I was in. The resentment slowly built of over the following 5 years and that was it. Unfortunately, I never played bass for a further 26 years due to heartbreak of seeing my dream disappear before my eyes.

The current Mrs Yepmop is quite tolerant to time off practising and the odd gig, as she knows I enjoy it and it's a lot better than going down the pub each night (not that I ever did). Also the kids are into learning to play music which is scientifically proven to enhance their intelligence and ability to learn new things.

But you must be prepared to give and take, So if the wife wants a day out shopping or site seeing I have no problem driving her there etc, it's about a happy medium and does help getting them involved as well so they don't feel left out. The wife goes to any gigs we do and takes photos etc and I let her judge if what I'm playing sounds okay when practising at home.

[merlin]

Mrs Merlin is still here after 30 years,not sure how or why,I dont deserve her,but I was a gigging bassist befor we got together,so she knew what to expect.We have forgone the new three piece suit carpets excetera to buy new amps guitars,so how long have I got? hehe.With the present band I have again the full support from Mrs M.putting up with my childish ways,constant GAS,all the things that go with a new band..